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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Oh the relentlessness of a two year old and pregnancy

39 replies

sofasonmondays · 27/12/2021 18:12

I'm literally dragging myself around all day. Struggling so much to keep my almost 2 year old entertained.

I'm just so tired all the time.

How do people survive?

Any tips of low energy activities to do with her ? Even dragging her and myself to bed every night is a struggle. Cooking is a struggle. Everything is a struggle.

I just want to sleep and not get out of bed, I'm so tired. Everything hurts, I still throw up regularly and feel nauseous most of the time.

My DH is at home at the moment on holidays but he's been doing man stuff, like tidying the garage and sorting out bins etc. So whilst he does help somewhat, it's not enough it seems.

She got so many cool toys for Christmas, yet she's mainly interested in running around causing trouble. Climbing on chairs to get to stuff she shouldn't. Moving chairs to then climb on the kitchen island etc etc. Opening and closing doors. Jumping around on the sofa etc.

Any tips on how to make this easier and keep her more entertained ?

OP posts:

Original poster

sofasonmondays · 27/12/2021 19:54

Thanks so much everyone for sharing and for the sympathy.

And also for the reassurance that it will get easier once the second Bub is here. I'm only just over half way, so we've still got a while !

OP posts:

Pollyforever · 27/12/2021 20:44

I had a 2 Yr old and a 1 Yr old when pregnant with DC3. We watched lots of TV. I'd set up different play stations in the morning, have snacks and drinks near me and lie on the couch as much as I could. This was during the last 2 months of pregnancy and in a heatwave! Ot was hellish. Also your partner needs to leave the garage clearing if you're struggling and let you have some rest. I'd mention the tiredness to your midwife, in my pregnancies pregnancies 2nd trimester was much better for enegergy levels so it could mean you're deficient in something.

welshladywhois40 · 27/12/2021 21:27

My son was 2 and a half when I had my second so I survived the later half of pregnancy by getting out as much as possible even in winter (my baby arrived late Jan).

My son still napped but only if we got out to a park in the morning. Then during nap - we both napped and that is how I survived.

Even now chatting to mums with new babies - if they still nap - it's how we survive. Out early, exercise, lunch, nap till 3 and it's really not long till bedtime then

coochyboochy · 27/12/2021 21:32

Childcare and housework are "man stuff" too- they are "parent stuff". He needs to be doing far more when he's actually there.

Pregnant02 · 27/12/2021 21:37

16 weeks pregnant with a just turned 2 year old here and I am exhausted! I have actually requested my bloods be done to check iron levels as I’m just so shattered all of the time. I live for my days off work when I can nap when DS does! I set up activities for DS each day it’s not a work / nursery day yet he’s still a bloody wild child who doesn’t stop climbing, having tantrums or just being up to no good all of the time!

Fallible · 27/12/2021 21:40

This is bringing back awful memories of my second pregnancy! I found it a hundred times easier having a newborn and a 2 year old once baby was born.

Definitely get your bloods checked as I was anaemic which just made it worse.

Abandon all screen time restrictions. Mine gave up her naps so we used to have "TV time" in my bed where she would watch Peppa and I would try to doze. Pretty much every game we played I did from a horizontal position - play doh, painting, duplo, all of it. Also we used to go out for long drives in the car most days.

I'm definitely stopping at 2.

jamsandwich1 · 27/12/2021 21:42

It’s so hard. If it’s any consolation I actually felt less tired with a newborn and toddler because at least when I was asleep it was a deep sleep. Had horrendous pregnancy insomnia

Original poster

sofasonmondays · 27/12/2021 21:45

The thing is, she started nursery. Just settling in sessions and she immediately got violently ill for a couple of weeks. This meant, no sleep for me, poor performance at work during the days because she was home and sick and I wasn't sleeping.

Now she has to go back fo nursery in January. I don't know if it's the best thing and how I will cope when she inevitably gets sick again.

My husband is away for work a lot and it can't be changed. So it's all on me. Very tough. Maybe I need a nanny instead for now.

OP posts:

Incywinceyspider · 27/12/2021 22:24

Do you have a play cafe near you? Or a small soft play where your toddler could go in the play frame without you needing to go in as well? I'm 31 weeks with a 2 year old and I've pretty much lived in our local play cafe recently. It has a tiny play frame and I go during school time so he won't get bowled over by older kids. He runs off energy, mixes with other kids and I get to sit with a cup of tea, occasionally stopping to break up a toddler fight/read books he brings to me etc

Incywinceyspider · 27/12/2021 22:26

Oh and many many episodes of Bing. God I hate that rabbit...

SleepingStandingUp · 27/12/2021 22:33

Bluey on iPlayer.
And DH needs to be helping out more. How desperate are his MAN JOBS vs his struggling partner?

ZZTopGuitarSolo · 27/12/2021 23:16

If I did pregnancy again, knowing what I know now, I would hire help. It was so hard. And I never threw up - that must be so tough.

I genuinely think pregnancy is the hardest thing I've done.

Pottedfern · 28/12/2021 00:05

I feel for you OP, I have a 22 month age gap between my DC and my second pregnancy was horrific. I threw up for the first 5 months and suffered with PGP that was so bad I ended up on (mostly useless) crutches.

I used a combination of TV, arts and crafts in a high chair (painting and sticker books), frozen meals for dinner, more TV and water play with a puddle suit in the garden to get through. Also, I encouraged toddler to be more independent, walking upstairs by himself, getting into his own wellies. If anything it helped fill the time.

Take each day as it comes. I tied myself in knots stressing over my perceived neglect of my toddler and the weeks seemed to go on forever, but honestly now it’s all over I have forgotten how hard and tedious it all was. I also completely agree that a newborn plus toddler is infinitely better than a tough pregnancy. Good luck!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 28/12/2021 00:25

My Dd was 4 when I was pregnant with Ds, so easier really, but I still found it very hard. I came home from work and just wanted to crawl into bed like I’d done the first time around!

Massive sympathies OP

I agree that your rest comes before any non essential household tasks that your DH might fancy prioritising instead

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