To expect my child not to swear at me?!

[UserError012345]

My DD9 on occasion swears. I correct it and reinforce that we know the words but don't use.

I dont swear as a rule.

Today she has sworn at me calling me a 'stupid bitch'.

Thoughts please........

@Aardvarkitsabloodyaardvark and just what is weird about it? its called discipline and having time to reflect on what they have done. it works most of the time and on the rare times it doesnt then that stage is met with removal of all prized items such as phone ipad games etc etc and not returned unless earnt back

It doesn't matter that she swore. It matters that she said something really horrible to you because she knew she would hurt you.

I'd ask her to go to her room and reflect on why she thinks it's ok to talk to you in that way and come back and explain herself in an hour.

@Fundays12

My DS nearly 10 did this to me last month and had his iPad banned for a month. He was grounded for the day and had his TV removed for a week. Please don't tolerate this behaviour or it will continue

OP I noticed you said she is possibly undiagnosed SEN. DS has autism and ADHD both diagnosed but this behaviour is still unacceptable and needs addressed fast or it will continue to escalate Nobody except you can correct this behaviour as it was aimed at you..Yes there maybe an underlying reason but that does not give her the right to be abusive to you.

Thoughts? I think you need to parent your child. Some serious consequences are in order. My children wouldn't have ever even dreamed to say that to me.

I have a DD 9 too and I would be very disappointed. She's know better though.
She's asked before about using words like ass crap and hell which I shut down

My kids, now adults have never sworn in front of, or at me and their father.
The consequences would have been severe if they had.

I am not a strict parent but I don’t take disrespect. Unacceptable

Absolutely unacceptable.
I hope you have told her off and grounded her/taken away privileges.

Have you asked her why she is so rude and unpleasant?

I’d also be looking for a heartfelt apology and an assurance she won’t ever use language like this to you again.

She isn’t a little child. She knew what she was doing and wanted a reaction. Make sure you give the correct one - which is that her behaviour was appalling and that you are very disappointed in her.

@Soontobe60 I'm not excusing it, at all.

I asked the question because in my experience a child doesn't just call their Mum a stupid bitch out of thin air and having a bit of context is helpful.

OP I can relate - I've been through similar. As others have said though it's how you react afterwards which is important. What are the consequences of your daughters behaviour?

If not in full on meltdown... Some sort of sent to room/ withdrawal of privileges. I make mine explain why they used it and how it makes someone feel and what are the consequences of their behaviour (home and elsewhere)

I tend to turn a blind eye to the DC using the odd conversational swear word. But they do know there are 2 words I absolutely will not tolerate - "bitch" being one of them. They also know I will not tolerate swearing AT anybody, be it me, their father, each other or anybody else. If my DC had called me a "stupid bitch", they'd be calmly packed off to their room to bundle up their tech and toys for confiscation, and they'd be staying in their rooms to write about why their words weren't acceptable.

Also not a strict parent but my ds who is now 20 would never disrespect me like this and if he ever did there would be serious consequences.