To think that I can become more positive in the new year?

[winolady]

This is my resolution for 2022 anyway.. trying to be more optimistic, less critical, more understanding and a happier person..

I know I'm not alone in being like this but realised over Christmas how I always think the worst of people. I always look for an ulterior motive, and question what people are really thinking.. I assume people don't like me and that life is generally just a bit of a struggle.. sounds awful doesn't it!?
I love my husband and my daughter, our house and our cat, my jobs okay too. But for some reason I've become negative and a bit damaged somehow now I'm in my 30s!

How do you keep positive lovely ladies?

It sounds like you've just become a bit cynical about things. The 'upside' of that is you've probably got a good bullshit detector!
There's all the usual good stuff:
-Make a list of things you're grateful for each day, etc.
-Positive affirmations
-Mindfulness
But these can sound a bit superficial sometimes.
What I find helpful is to always take a 'learning approach' to everything. Assume that other people have something to teach you. Be curious about them. If you're interested in ppl's motivations then there's a whole world of learning around psychology, philosophy, anthropology. Examine your own motivations and values and the quality of your relationships. What really matters to you in life and why?
Look at Kegan's theory of adult development. We spend a lot of our time worrying what other people think of us (comparison is the thief of joy) wheras the next step in our development is to free ourselves of comparison/oppressive social norms and move towards self-authorship.
Don't forget to do things you love and connect with other people over those things, that always helps to erode cynicism!

I’m a bit like this and I have been trying to change it for a while.

I read on here fairly recently to start saying “I get to” instead of I’ve got to. So, on a day you are struggling in work, instead of saying “I’ve got to be here until 5pm say “I get to leave at 5pm”

I’ve got to do the dishes -I get to do the dishes after cooking plenty of food to give DC full tummies

It takes practice, and I do slip up a bit, but I’m working on it! Keen to see tips others may have.

Similar to PP, mindfulness and gratitude practices. It will feel and sound silly at first, but even practicing gratitude for the small things - feeling the wind in your hair, the toasty warmth of your slippers on a morning, being able to enjoy a brew, it a builds up and the more you will find each day to be thankful for.

For me:
Quit social media (mn is only online thing I use but even I try limit that)

Watch more positive shows. I used to be into real crime but try to avoid it as it changes my mood

Go walks more and increase physical activities

I find these have helped me become more positive.

Can I join? I'm just coming out of a mh breakdown (work burnout) I really want to test the new year as a positive. I've told the dc we are clearing the Xmas decs and making the house nice ready for new year because - best foot forward.

I write down goals with the kids - so far we have do more craft!