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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

30 minute slot

14 replies

Purplepancakes · 27/12/2021 09:53

I'm a single mum, so will spend majority of Christmas holidays alone with my children, having spent 10 days prior to Christmas isolating due to having covid.

I was looking forward to seeing my DB and DSIL today, at their house for a present exchange get together. He rang me last night to give me a 30 minute slot to come to his house, because they are delivering gifts later in day.

I'm so upset that they can only give me 30 minutes of their time, that I have cancelled this morning.

There is no other reason for this other than them just wanting to get then gift giving all done in a day.

AIBU?

OP posts:
endofagain · 27/12/2021 09:56

I am so sorry that is very hurtful. I guess there is nothing you can do, but I would be very upset in your position. Flowers

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 27/12/2021 10:01

Did he definitely mean stay for only 30mins? Or was it "come about 10.30/11"

worriedmum20000 · 27/12/2021 10:02

Did you tell him why you are cancelling? I hope you reminded him that you haven't seen anyone else for the past 10 days and was looking forward to spending some time together. If you just cancelled he will continue to be completely oblivious & selfish.
Unless there's a massive backstory and you're the sister from hell and he tolerates 30 minutes per year for the sake of the DC

Tabbacus · 27/12/2021 10:04

Just say okay will come and see you another time and drop off gifts when you have more time.

WulyJmpr · 27/12/2021 10:04

Yeah it's unkind to treat family like a food delivery timeslot.

Eastie77Returns · 27/12/2021 10:08

Very sorry, that is really hard considering you were looking forward to seeing them.

I have to admit I have done something similar in the past and now worry I may have unintentionally hurt people’s feelings. We have 2 DC and some days can be a bit hectic so I know I’ve said to family members “fine to pop by at x but we have to leave 30/45 mins later to take DC to [activity]” I just try to set expectations so they know I won’t be able to host a long coffee chat etc, not because they are not important to me. It may be a similar situation with your DB who clumsily made you feel as if he is just ‘slotting’ you in to a day with more important things.

Original poster
Purplepancakes · 27/12/2021 10:10

Said come at 12pm but we have to shoot off at 12.30pm

No backstory, he is just very particular about scheduling his day

His DC are adults, I'm the only one with children

OP posts:
fourminutestosavetheworld · 27/12/2021 10:12

Could you have gone earlier than 12, or was 12 your suggestion?

PurpleDaisies · 27/12/2021 10:14

That’s rotten. I can totally understand why you’re upset. Flowers

Original poster
Purplepancakes · 27/12/2021 10:15

I wasn't given a choice, just told time to come and leave

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 27/12/2021 10:17

Do you have the sort of relationship where gig can tell him you’d really like to have a proper catch up and you were feeling rubbish after covid so you were sad when he only wanted to meet for such a short time?

Original poster
Purplepancakes · 27/12/2021 10:19

I think I could do that a few days once I'm a bit less emotional. That's a good suggestion thank you

OP posts:
BerylReader · 27/12/2021 10:20

I have family like this. I have gradually made less and less effort to see them as this happens throughout the year. If it’s a one off (and it being Christmas) I’d let it go but if it happens a lot leave them to make the effort and if they don’t, well, there’s your answer

3scape · 27/12/2021 10:30

I'd cancel. Once you've factored in travel etc it is unlikely to be worth your while. For me, eg my brother is 2 hours travel.

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