I've just spent a few days with my Dsis and Dbil over Christmas in a rented vacation home for Christmas
We have a bit of a distant relationship as shes several years older than me, but get on well in general
During this time Dbil has been consistently rude, he's been sat with headphones on watching movies on his phone, or snoozing on the sofa. He's barely engaged with the wider family, and seems to be communicating with Dsis via huffs and puffs. All the interactions between them were some form of argument to be honest
I dont feel that the relationship is abusive as much as constantly snippy? She did snip at him a few times to be fair. He's perfectly happy interacting with his family, has hobbies etc and is usually okay (although frequently "absent" via playing on phone, watching something different to the rest of the family but usually to a much lesser extent)
They also have a preschooler kid, who he huffed and puffed at. They both are shouty parents in general which I find tricky and have tried not to judge. For example going to bed is always "look just go to bed will you". My mom has had a heart to heart this week to try to be less shouty
but I heard him calling their kid stupid more than once which doesn't feel right and seems a step too far
Obviously as her sister I want to tell her that it's not okay that he treats her like that, that parenting would be easier without him. I don't want to make her feel judged or make her defensive so stop talking to me about it
Would you say anything?