To think that it helps to be selfish

[Shockedmama]

Or should I say have strong boundaries. I’m a walkover and it leaves me drained with people just disrespecting me

Yeah, I agree. There's a few threads about this at the minute, Christmas burnout etc

It’s not remotely ‘selfish’ to maintain healthy boundaries, consult your own wishes, and refuse to be a doormat. However, as the thread from a poster who napped on Christmas Day and was upfront about refusing to ‘hostess’ demonstrated, some women are enraged by other women choosing not to suffer.

Selfishness =/= being assertive about what you want or need. Strong boundaries is a better phrase.

So many people have been conditioned to think it’s rude to disagree with someone or state their own needs. It really isn’t.

It's not either/or.
Try for the middle ground, firm reasonable boundaries with a sense of compassion?