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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Feeling doubtful in everything I do

1 reply

Whistler42 · 26/12/2021 17:05

Hi all,

I’m recently a new mum (4months) never suffered with anxiety or depression and I’m not sure if it’s a combination of Covid/isolation or slightly hormonal.
But I’ve really been beating myself a lot recently. During pregnancy and post, I just feel like I have no one (literally no one). I have my husband and family but feel like all my friends are getting on with their life without as I always say or do the wrong thing.
My husband and I can’t stop bickering and again I feel like just always do the wrong thing. He’s so nice and all we do is seem to bicker and I feel like he’s a better father than I am a mother.
I love our son and he was a much wanted child and I’m not enjoying it as much as I thought I would. It’s hard constant work and I dread when we are alone without the support of my husband.

I’m constantly comparing myself to other people, they are smarter, skinnier, have more friends etc etc (I could go on).
I know I need to get a grip and it’s all subjective, but I just internally bash myself all the time. It’s so upsetting. I feel like I’m crap at everything and always say and do the wrong thing. I wish I was a better person, that had loads of friends, money etc.
But I’ve also always been very confident and never worried about this sort of stuff and I just feel like I’m losing everything.
Family has been ill recently too, so even the comfort and security of family feels like it’s slipping through my fingers.

Not sure why I’m here writing this, maybe just somewhere to express without judgment. But just wanted to check in normal and not alone in feeling this way?

Xx

OP posts:
kiwimum18 · 26/12/2021 17:14

I feel like I can relate to some of what you say. After my son was born I suffered with PND, and my anxiety increased a lot. I feel like I lost myself a bit, and my confidence is still not what it once was. But one thing that has really helped me is trying to give myself a break. Be kinder to yourself. Your baby is still so young, you're really just settling in to motherhood. I had the same issue with finding it all a real slog and not as joyous as I had expected. It does get easier though, and you'll find yourself feeling more confident in the mothering stuff as time goes on. If you really are struggling with it I would recommend discussing it with your GP, it really can help a lot to voice it to an impartial person and see where it goes from there. But most importantly, be kind to yourself. Try your best to ditch the negative self-talk. I promise you don't deserve it. And try to engage in things that make you relaxed and happy when you can. You do deserve that. Take care x

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