Hi all,
I’m recently a new mum (4months) never suffered with anxiety or depression and I’m not sure if it’s a combination of Covid/isolation or slightly hormonal.
But I’ve really been beating myself a lot recently. During pregnancy and post, I just feel like I have no one (literally no one). I have my husband and family but feel like all my friends are getting on with their life without as I always say or do the wrong thing.
My husband and I can’t stop bickering and again I feel like just always do the wrong thing. He’s so nice and all we do is seem to bicker and I feel like he’s a better father than I am a mother.
I love our son and he was a much wanted child and I’m not enjoying it as much as I thought I would. It’s hard constant work and I dread when we are alone without the support of my husband.
I’m constantly comparing myself to other people, they are smarter, skinnier, have more friends etc etc (I could go on).
I know I need to get a grip and it’s all subjective, but I just internally bash myself all the time. It’s so upsetting. I feel like I’m crap at everything and always say and do the wrong thing. I wish I was a better person, that had loads of friends, money etc.
But I’ve also always been very confident and never worried about this sort of stuff and I just feel like I’m losing everything.
Family has been ill recently too, so even the comfort and security of family feels like it’s slipping through my fingers.
Not sure why I’m here writing this, maybe just somewhere to express without judgment. But just wanted to check in normal and not alone in feeling this way?
Xx