AIBU re 'Me Time Presents'?

[MoiraNotRuby]

I've had a particularly tough year, supported by some kind and amazing friends. A couple of them have kindly given me presents because they think I need more time to myself, putting myself first etc.

Truly lovely.

However, I realistically don't have the time to enjoy/use the presents. If I did, I have other things I would like to do.

Changed a couple of details but they are along the lines of

• Mindfulness Journal to fill in, which feels like work, and I would rather do pilates or yoga if I had the time to spare.

• Cross stitch kit to make and then display on the wall. I don't have the space and I would rather spend the time watching box sets if I had that much time spare.

WWYD? I am really grateful for the lovely thoughts but it seems wasteful to keep them or even open the packaging. But would feel awful if I give them to charity and then my friend asks where they are.

AIBU to struggle with this...

I think you just need to appreciate the sentiment, say thank you gracefully and think no more of it.

Pass on the journal to charity if it makes you feel less guilty- your friends aren’t going to ask to mark your homework.

However, I’d try the cross stitch while you’re watching the telly. How do you know you don’t like it if you’ve never tried it?!

Sounds like you’ve had a rough year - your friends would t want you to be stressed about this. So don’t let it worry you

I agree try the cross stitch the sense of achievement when you complete a craft item is tremendous. you don't have to hang it on a wall maybe turn it into a cushion or similar
As for the journal they can be quite illuminating writing down your thoughts and ambitions especially looking back later on. i do mine at bedtime while settling down helps empty my mind for sleeping

Give them to charity. The mindfulness journal is private and hidden on your nightstand/bookshelf, the cross stitch you haven't got round to yet.
(Though x stitching with a box set is pretty fun).

I understand. I’m a LP, work full time, plus a side gig as a consultant, and often get advice/gifts (esp from my mother/aunts etc) along the lines of:

• mindful macrame set
• spa voucher
• “you just need to make time for yourself”
• “why don’t you sign up to yoga classes or start running again”
• “you need to make more friends so you don’t feel so lonely”

All meant well, all come from good places- but it makes me inexplicably frustrated, because they don’t say “here’s a spa voucher AND I’ll babysit for you”, or whatever.

Everyone is aware that I have to work long hours to make ends meet leaving me with little time to eat/sleep sometimes, and that I have an issue with childcare outside of school/ wraparound hours, so it’s not lack of awareness.

And then the gift/advice just becomes another way in which I feel I’m failing at life.

So yes I understand, and not sure what the answer is, except appreciate the sentiment and that it comes from a good place.

I actually think they're pretty thoughtless gifts. Your friends know you're struggling to make time for yourself... so they give you things that will take up more of your time?

Tbh I’m glad not to do gifts with friends.
It’s such a tricky business!
What would you have liked?
They may have been stuck for ideas, some people aren’t good at gift buying.

You could at least try the cross stitch? Lunch breaks at work maybe ? Do it for Half an hour in front of mindless Telly in an evening? I often say I never have time to read or phone friends for a catch up. When I actually do try I find the time and feel better for it.

Neither of those are my idea of 'me time'. For me, 'me time' is a deliveroo/just eat gift card or a babysitting voucher .

I would accept the gifts in the spirit of them being given graciously, I think if you are anything like me OP it is my charachter and make up that makes it look like I have no time for me, I am constantly on the go and to be honest I like it, I like being busy, I think another issue I have is although I seem very open and friendly and happy and bouncy I am infact the opposite of that in reality, I am happiest out of the crowd on my own and I am infact a really private person.I am very independant and I do things when I want how I want them too!! I do not let many people in to know the real me,not many do and I don;t know why its just my make up. So everyone thinks they know me but they don;t really, I can be the social butterfly by easily turning it on a bit like a performance so they see what I choose to show them but my privacy and me I keep to myself and my family. I am weird I think but its how my life runs and how I like it, I remember one friend ish was telling my husband something about me and he grinned as he knew it was so the opposite of who I really am. Think its a defense mechanism I don;t know!!!!

I cross stitch while watching box sets, I find it very relaxing when the kids are in bed or doing their own thing.

I know what you mean. My husband gave me a large cross stitch kit a few years ago and while the picture is very much to my taste - I already had many very long term craft projects on the go, so it felt a bit like one more unfinished project I’ll never finish.

Thanks all. The 'thing thats a bit like a journal' will definitely go to charity then. The 'thing that's a bit like cross stitch' I will leave in its sealed packet for now.

I cross stitch and watch box sets at the same time, in fact doing it right now

As to the journey, just jot thoughts down as you go along

I'd feel exactly the same OP. I find this "me time" emphasis extremely annoying tbh. It's another stick to beat people with and make them feel that they aren't doing enough. There's pressure on busy people to carve out time for something else in their day, without any thought to how that's physically and practically going to happen.
Do whatever you want with the presents and feel no guilt OP.