AIBU to be annoyed that DH went out last night?

[MerryBloodyChristmasDay]

Typed a long message and lost it so will keep brief.

At MILS for Christmas with DH, our two kids, BIL and nephew.

MIL getting on and stressed about catering so I've tried to pick up the slack, including Christmas dinner.

BIL has a bit of a drink problem, and DH seems to follow suit when here. This is a source of stress to MIL.

After prepping all the veg on Christmas Eve, I then got up early with excited son yesterday and pretty much single handedly did Christmas lunch. DH and BIL popped to the pub at final stages of cooking so I was a bit non plussed at the suggestion I go with them.

After dinner we watched a film, I was pretty knackered. Got son to bed. DH and BIL then say at 9.30 they are going to a neighbours.

Said neighbour throwing huge party, always really full on. We had heard that neighbours mum (who was there) had been around people who tested positive. We're supposed to travel to my family this afternoon and I don't want to take risks.

I asked them not to go. MIL asked them not to go. They went.

DS then woke up and I had to lie with him to settle him. Came down just got 10 and MIL had gone to bed. So I was sat alone til they got back at 11.30.

Mil came down again and asked them not to drink more. She then spoke to me along when I was going upstairs to apologise for their behaviour. Obvs it's not her fault!

This morning DH is in a terrible mood that he's apparently'ruined christmas' and I'm getting shitty responses to anything I say. No apology.

He doesn't care at all does he? Or AIBU and I should have let him do what he wanted on Christmas Day?

OP,

You are in the wrong.

He treats his mother like shit.

All his brothers do.

Why are you surprised that he treats you like shit?

He sounds really rough.
But you know that.

Sort your contraception out and think hard about the life you want.

It sounds miserable to me.

Your poor MIL has dragged up three scuts and is paying it.

I wouldn't want him being a model for any child of mine.

This is your life until you start making better choices.

He thinks he can behave badly and be sullen afterwards.

You are well on your way to an abusive marriage, he is showing all the signs.

Someone with self respect would pack her backs, go to her parents and start rethinking what she wants from her life.

I'd have gone to the party and let MiL babysit. Think you're being a but OTT.

I dont understand why you were picking up all the slack to begin with? Why weren't the two sons sorting Christmas Dinner for their mum if she struggles?

Would you really let your MIL babysit without asking her first? Literally just bugger off to a party where you know someone has been in contact with covid cases? Really?

Wow

And we we're all supposed to be doing the food but BIL didn't really materialise

Pack up your stuff and go leaving him behind. Leave him to it. Agree with a previous PP, bring MIlL if she would be welcome.

@AngelsEyeball

Why are you apologising for the behaviours of other adults. MIL should fuck off and look to how she raised her son!

Oh course it's MIL fault, where does FIL feature and she's not responsible for her sons behaviour!

Nasty comment.

@MerryBloodyChristmasDay

Would you really let your MIL babysit without asking her first? Literally just bugger off to a party where you know someone has been in contact with covid cases? Really?

Wow

I'd have asked if she would of course. We're talking covid contact though, not covid case aren't we?

Be honest with yourself op.you didnt have to do all the Christmas prep /helping out/getting lunch ready.
You put that on yourself. You also shouldn't have ASKED your dh not to go you should have told him not to go. (Because A: he left you allone and B. There was a positive covid case C it was Christmas D he had already been out and drunk a few days before) he has done this every Christmas you said. He is not gonna change. And this is probably not just a Christmas porblem. He would display this behaviour on a frequent basis. You need to take a step back and look at your marriage through different eyes. You even said you would have been ok with it if he had apologised?! NO op. Just NO he cant throw some shit show attitude and then get let off the hook becausr he says sorry.

That is not how life works. And definitely not how a marriage works. You need to raise your standards op . For yourself. And your kids!

He treats his mum like a joke. And walks all over you .
You apparently dont see all these red flags anymore. Open your eyes and if not for youself: do it for your kids. You are gonna leave them with mental health issues having a dad like that

So what did he contribute to Christmas?

@angelseyeball perhaps you should learn to read before suggesting a poster should tell someone to fuck off. It was the MIL who was apologising. Not that she should. She is not responsible for the behaviour of two grown men.