Extravagant presents

[JaceLancs]

Not a thread about a thread but made me think - how do you cope with presents that are so much more than you expected?
I often feel inadequate as a gift giver - even if I’ve tried quite hard when the other person gives me something so much more thoughtful or expensive or time consuming
Today I got a beautifully wrapped personalised gift off an old friend that blew me away with her thoughtfulness and effort - lots of small bits that linked together, with my hobbies and interests
I’d really tried hard with hers but haven’t as much time or money - to be fair to her she always raves about whatever it is as she gets very few surprises from others

My (lovely) friend of 15+ years does this every year and this year is no exception. We usually just do kids but last year she did one for me too. So this year I matched it... And she went one bigger and doubled my gift. I don't mention it in advance so she isn't doing it on purpose. Her gifts are always amazing as well and so personal. I have learnt that, no matter how hard I try, I can't compete. So I simply spoil her with smaller gifts and pay for lunches during the year to even it out in my mind.

Thank you for responding - I do try and make her feel appreciated where I can throughout the year and thanks at the time - I’m also sometimes too self critical

Sometimes I feel that recipients of gifts don't really understand how much pleasure the giver gets.

When I was younger, I had very little spare money for presents, so DD, nephew and niece received what I could give.

Now, I'm old I'm lucky enough to have spare cash. My biggest pleasure is giving presents to them and their children.

Don't deny your friend of the pleasure she gets from choosing your presents.
If you think she may be playing one up oneship withyou, however, that's a different story.