Is anyone else the “DH” in their relationship?

[smashingbaubles]

Sometimes I just read the threads on here about horrible husbands and I wonder if I’m the horrible husband… and by that I don’t mean I’m physically/mentally/financially abusive or that I’m cheating, or even that I don’t buy him Christmas presents (I do - he received such good presents from me today that he was practically bouncing from the ceiling!) But sometimes I realise I am the dominant force in our relationship… we’re currently doing the thing I most want for Christmas (despite him wanting to do something else) and that has been the pattern of our marriage, that my needs are more important than his. My DM always says he spoils me and treats me like a princess and I don’t deserve it, which is probably true. I feel very lucky, but when I read threads on here about wives who do way more for their husbands and pull their weight way more in the house than them… I think that I am probably that husband.

Is anyone else this in their relationship?

If you know that your needs always come before his why don't you address it and put him first for once? I can't imagine acknowledging that I'm treating someone badly and then continuing to do it just because I can.

I think it all depends how your DH feels? Would he say he feels unhappy with the balance? Have you asked? As long as it’s healthy and you’re both happy there’s no problem.

I'm the DH too, it suits us!!

No, we have quite a balanced relationship, but if I wanted things to be done my way DP is so laid back that he’d likely go along with it.

I do make a conscious effort to hear his thoughts on things and make sure he expresses what he wants to do. I think you have to do that in this dynamic, otherwise the dominant personality will take over. I don’t want him to be or feel henpecked so am happy to compromise.

What did he want to do for Christmas and why/how did you shut him down? You also mention this happens often, so you’re obviously aware of it, but just don’t care. I wonder why?

It doesn’t sound like you treat him that great so? How about making it a bit more fair?