What actually makes you (me) happy?

[MintMe]

I'll preface this by saying I've had a good Christmas Day. At the in laws with extended family so busy and chaotic but lovely. However, there have been very few times I've felt happy today - despite DS4 really getting the magic of it. I know this is normal, the overhyping of the day etc...

I took the dog for a walk at about 6pm and started to question myself about what actually makes me happy. There are a few things - walking, murder podcasts, a hot bath, home improvement magazines amongst others. And now I think I need to commit to fitting more of those things into my daily life.

Does anyone else do this? Or try to do this? Does it work?

Presumably all the party animals who feel happy snorting cocaine and doing shots are still in bed…..

This has made me think! What a great thread for Boxing Day. I think my capacity to experience joy has diminished with age, although yesterday I did have a moment.
Horses- I start d riding at 50 ( had the odd riding lesson as a child). It has changed my life so much for the better.
My house - we have an old farmhouse which is furnished completely by Facebook marketplace and brocantes ( we live in France). Every piece of furniture has a story and I love that.
Doing diy.
Trying to have an organized house.
Gardening and being outside.
A sense of achievement- even work has become something of value whereas I couldn’t have given a toss before.
Ballet barre - it has changed my body.

Lovely, timely thread, OP.

The last time I read a thread like this, someone mentioned the Science of Wellbeing Course. It's a free twelve-week online course, designed and led by a professor at Yale.

I did it, and it really is life-changing!

The professor is laurie santos and she has a podcast too - happiness lab.

Exercise. I don't love getting going on it but I always, always feel happier if I am doing or have done something active.

Space to read. I love it so much. It's quite dysfunctional as it shuts out everyone else but it's my dysfunction goddammit.

In your OP you seem to be saying that because your DC was enjoying the day YOU should feel happy.

IME, other than DC being well and OK, the things that are good for DC are often not things that are good for mothers.

Being tucked up warm with my cat, a good book and Classic FM on in the background.
No responsibility for any one except the welfare of both of us.

Reading. Reading with DC. Crafting. Gaming. Playing with my animals and DC. Nature. The end of day cuddles with my DH. Visiting my family and listening to my DGM tell me old stories about the family.

Going to try and find more things that make me happier in 2022.

Reading with a cup of tea (have a vast collection!)
Walking, especially in nature
Spending time with my DH just chatting, playing music or playing board games
Doodling/bullet journalling
Cafe with a friend, especially a cosy one by the river
Luxury body/bath oils that smell like a spa
Youtube yoga/pilates videos in my living room with twinkling lights and diffuser going
Learning a new recipe and it going well (am not a natural cook at all and feel so pleased when I manage to make a nice meal from scratch)
Having everything crossed off a to do list

I can't believe I didn't say my cats!!
One of my cats is always with me when I'm doing my favourite things I.e. relaxing in the bath (she sits on the edge) or when I'm reading a book so that is definitely when I'm most content.

As others have said, I can't be content without a tidy clean house before this.

Brilliant question OP.

For me it’s making or doing things with my kids (Lego, colouring in, gardening, baking), having a nice meal or hike with DH, running, hot baths, listening to podcasts, and the things I did pre kids that I don’t get time to now (reading, sewing, upholstery).

When your life is full with caring for other people it can be hard to do the things that make you happy. Every spare moment I have is filled with work, caring, or cleaning/running a house. I totally treasure an hour walk with the dog listening to a podcast!

Reading in a hot bubble bath makes me feel content. Using posh bath products every day instead of saving them "for best" which I used to do.

I also enjoy painting, colouring, needle felting and knitting (although I can only do one stitch so scarves it is).

Crochet
Sunday night drama
Good dinner
Good book
Hot baths

Focusing on what l have , rather than what l haven' t , Quiet time, pets, gardening, reading, walking, exercising, listening to speakers on youtube, watching Green Renaissance short films.
Mostly being thankful my two teenage sons are healthy and on the right track and l got to see them grow up, unlike my late husband.