AIBU to ask if you think there's anything in particular I should be concerned about?

[notsorighteousthesedays]

Husband left me and 3 children three years ago to live with another woman. He has been hostile and obstructive ever since. We are not divorced largely because he changes his mind all the time. He and partner have now written their wills together (she posted about it on FB!!). I think this is nothing to do with me, as long as he provides for our children, but I am now second-guessing myself. Should I be concerned, if so what about? Any comments welcome!
I suppose I should think about getting some legal advice once solicitors reopen but I still find the whole situation very painful....

I would have thought that whatever he puts in his will, you would have a claim on his estate while you are married. I would check this out with a solicitor or post something in legal matters.

YES Q

I've just done my will so have been through this process recently. Worst case scenario he could have disinherited your children in the will. Potentially you could try to challenge this in the courts but there's no guarantee. I think it's really important that you have a conversation about this.

Also just to add - if she's posting on FB about doing wills together then it sort of implies that he'd be leaving a substantial share to her if he died. Which would mean your children would automatically be excluded from that inheritance.

Divorce him now or he'll get your estate if you predecease him, and leave it all to her when he dies, and your children will likely see none of it.

Divorce him now or he'll get your estate if you predecease him

Alternatively you could write your own will asap and leave 100% of your estate to your children.

Thanks for the comments - I guess I know what I'll be doing on Wednesday! :(

Start divorce proceedings ASAP!! Is there property involved? Pension funds? Child support? Get down the solicitors and get everything ironed out. He can't leave buggar all to her while your still married!!

Write your will now but don’t do anything in relation to his will. If he passes away while your children are still dependents and he hasn’t provided for them then you can challenge the will then - but you don’t know what is in his will and should hopefully be with us till the children are no longer financially dependent.

Yes, divorce him now to split out the assets before he dies. You do not need his consent to divorce him. If he wishes to leave any part of the remaining assets which form part of his estate after he dies, that is up to him but at least you have secured/banked the 50% of marital assets to which you are entitled and to that extent, secured your dcs' share as well.

Silly for his partner to alert you on facebook in this way. Bet your husband would have preferred she kept quiet.

@cansu

I would have thought that whatever he puts in his will, you would have a claim on his estate while you are married. I would check this out with a solicitor or post something in legal matters.

You definitely would in Scotland. I think different rules apply in England.

You definitely would in Scotland. I think different rules apply in England.

As far as I'm aware this is not the case in England although if dependents are involved then you could challenge it. I wouldn't rely on this though. As others have said, first step - sort out your will. Second step, get the divorce sorted.

A friend of mine had this happen to her. Her very wealthy dad found a new partner and left everything to the new partner in his will. She got zero inheritance and now her dad's estate will go to his new partner's children when she dies.