Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why do people say..

37 replies

GoBrookeYourself · 25/12/2021 07:07

That after a few weeks you’ll be able to differentiate between the different cries your baby has. Because DS2 is 8 weeks and they all still sound the same to me. Which is why I just picked him up for a feed when he started crying, thought I’d do a quick nappy change because it felt quite wet and then he projectile pooped all over me, including into my bra and all over the sheets. This could all have been avoided if i COULD tell the difference between his cries and knew to stay away from his nappy for 10 minutes so he could poo. Merry Christmas!

Please make me feel better by telling me the things that completely evaded/baffled you that people told you would be true and definitely weren’t.

OP posts:
RedRobin100 · 25/12/2021 07:10

Had no idea this was even considered a thing!

Sounds like BS to me..

Sorry about the poo tsunami - happy Christmas 😂

Heatherjayne1972 · 25/12/2021 07:11

No I’m with you here
I always found they cry and you have to guess what they want or need by a process of elimination
Crying is crying as far as I remember.

ImmutableSexQueen · 25/12/2021 07:12

'What's meant for you won't pass you.' What bollocks! Of course it will! Keep your eyes and ears open for your opportunities and take them. Grab them. Don't let them get away!

Babies, you know, just taking off a nappy can prompt a response. You get to know their habits... then they flipping change, grow, develop and you're back to square one. I'm still having to relearn and my 'baby' has been an adult for decades.

ThisIsTrifficult · 25/12/2021 07:12

I didn't have this power either.
Also that one where you wake when your baby makes a noise? Perhaps some evolutionary thing to protect them from a ravenous tiger? I don't have that either.

I think I just became used to the routine. Cry, oh, it must be food time. Etc...

Original poster
GoBrookeYourself · 25/12/2021 07:14

@RedRobin100 the health visitor came last week for his check and I remember actively nodding away when she was telling me how good it was now that he was at an age where his cries sounded different depending on his needs. In reality I was thinking ‘er no they don’t, but I can’t say that because you’ll think I’m a crap mum’.

@Heatherjayne1972 thank you for not making me feel crazy! I feel like I’m going to have to do the process of elimination thing until he can talk and tell me what he needs.

OP posts:
pinkstripeycat · 25/12/2021 07:15

Nah it’s not true. If my babies cried I just went through the usual feed, nappy, cuddle. It was usually a cuddle they needed. It frustrates me when people say babies cry for no reason or to exercise their lungs. What rubbish.
What baffled me was why my DS1 wouldn’t sleep through the night until he was 7 years old! He’d stand by my bed at 2am and say “mummy I want you.” I was exhausted for years.
Both DS16 & 14 are now fast asleep, no chance of waking until 9am on Christmas morning. I don’t miss the 4am wake ups for prezzies Smile Merry Christmas 🎄

BulldogDrummondBass · 25/12/2021 07:43

No, I’m with you. The only way I know my DD might need a burp rather than a feed is if I’ve just fed her. And so on.

StFrancisdeCompostela · 25/12/2021 07:45

Oh god no. All of my baby’s cries sounded the same. I think this is just something people say to justify ignoring their babies when they want to convince themselves it’s not really a ‘distressed’ cry Grin

BulldogDrummondBass · 25/12/2021 07:46

’What's meant for you won't pass you.' What bollocks! Of course it will! Keep your eyes and ears open for your opportunities and take them. Grab them. Don't let them get away!

This! My mum says it all the time. Total crap.

Wonmoretime · 25/12/2021 07:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AntennaReborn · 25/12/2021 07:59

I could never tell with DD either 🤷🏽‍♀️

AnnaSW1 · 25/12/2021 08:04

Oh wow i I'm surprised by the comments so far. I definitely think mine had different cries for different things.

AnnaSW1 · 25/12/2021 08:07

And I'm not in the leaving a baby to cry camp. I've never done it.

picklemewalnuts · 25/12/2021 08:07

It's less the sound of the cry, it's more the body movements with it. So if you played me a tape of a baby screaming, I wouldn't know why. When you watch a baby starting to squirm and whimper, you start to recognise which is which. And process of elimination works too.

Initially there's just a wriggling discomfort which could be anything, but they gradually start to differentiate between hungry- rooting and jerking their head, tummy ache/pooping-bringing legs up and curling their tummy.

Mind I had one that never cried, and I had to feed by the clock so she didn't go hungry, and one that grizzled constantly that I just carried around with a dummy in place.

Everydaydayisaschoolday · 25/12/2021 08:16

I can remember the exact moment when the cry-identification super power kicked in for me. My PFB was about 8 weeks old when it happened. I can also remember the overwhelming feeling of relief it gave me, an awareness that I loved her and I could do this mum stuff.

Ibane · 25/12/2021 08:23

It’s true in my experience but takes waaay longer than eight weeks to learn to distinguish. At that stage I was definitely just trying the feed/change/cuddle thing as a process of elimination. Roll on the bit of parenthood where they can tell you what’s wrong.

mawbroon · 25/12/2021 08:42

I couldn't tell with ds1, but with ds2, i seemed to be able to distinguish the different cries straight away. it was really obvious what he wanted!

No idea why they were so different though!

Fuuuuuckit · 25/12/2021 08:47

My ds once projectile pooped so hard it hit the lampshade. I wouldn't have believed anyone if they told me that was even a remote possibility.

I also believed babies slept....

Dilbertian · 25/12/2021 08:56

I could tell the difference between dc1's cries from very early on. But not with the others. Though I did tend to wake very quickly if they needed me at night.

What I learned to read even more than their cries were the babies' body signals: particularly the expressions on their faces (eg a wind grimace looks like a smile which doesn't include the eyes) and tension in their backs or bellies when held. But, again, sometimes you just don't know what your child needs, and you bumble along doing your best for them. And you still do this even when they're adults. You're not omniscient and omnipotent.

We've all done daft things when groggy in the night. Several times I got up in the morning to find my baby wearing two nappies, or with their nappy on over their babygro.

elliejjtiny · 25/12/2021 08:58

@Fuuuuuckit my ds1 did that on the health visitor's lampshade Grin.

I had no idea about the different cries thing, they all sound the same to me.

I was also told that working parents miss all the milestones. I'm a sahm and dh works. He was there for all 5 dc's first steps. I missed dc3's as I was on the toilet.

I thought I would always know what my teenagers were up to. That didn't happen either.

3scape · 25/12/2021 09:10

Oh bless you. I once thought my daughter was all done during a nappy change i i "cleverly" noticed a change in her cries. I thought I was at last noticing this mythical thing .. .... So as I lifted her legs she pooed all up me, chest and face, hair and then over my head literally onto the top of a wardrobe behind me. Wine .

Another time, id had a miserable day. But miracle of miracles my child was chuckling after a lovely warm bath. In a moment worthy of hallmark I quickly spun around with her around in my hands. During which she pooed and there was a line all the way round the bathroom. She was obviously chuckling due to relief of tummy pressure. Not because of her joy at me singing to her in the bath Grin

SingToTheSleigh · 25/12/2021 09:17

Three kids (14, 12, 4) and nope not a clue what the cause was when they cried! Generally a game of trial and error. Body language was as PPs mentioned more of a clue sometimes.

But either way 8 weeks is such a small amount of time (even though I’m sure it feels like he’s been with you forever already 💐) don’t put pressure on yourself to know it all!

Happy Christmas! 🎅🏻

RandomMess · 25/12/2021 09:24

One of mine had a very specific "hungry" cry. She always was and still is food focus and still gets hangry as an adult!

Original poster
GoBrookeYourself · 25/12/2021 10:06

Fuuuuuckit hahaha the lampshade! I looked straight at my DH when the poo was sliding down my boobs and getting stuck in my breast pads and told him he’d never look at me the same again Grin DS had the audacity to look at me like ‘why isn’t anyone putting me back in bed, can’t you tell I’m happy again so stop sticking your boob in my mouth every time I cry, I’m not always hungry’ lol.

Hahaha @3scape I’m looking forward to the day DS2 does something other than scream hysterically in the bath. They’re such ungrateful little things, good thing they’re cute!

To the posters who can differentiate between cries- can you do a parenting class and can I come? It’s worse in the middle of the night when I’m not watching him, just waking up when he cries and blindly trying to comfort him. The other day after a feed he wouldn’t accept his dummy and kept crying, I couldn’t figure out why and then realised in my sleep deprived state I’d been poking it in his nose not his mouth Blush in my defence it was about 3am and he’s in a next to me crib so I was just leaning over, eyes shut, thinking it was going in his mouth.

Obviously once DS1 has woken DH and I up because Santa’s been, DS2 is sound asleep, not even a hint of the grunts and groans he does that stop me sleeping in the middle of the night.

OP posts:
Original poster
GoBrookeYourself · 25/12/2021 10:07

@RandomMess I can empathise, I have a hangry cry too..

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread