MIL and pictures on Facebook

[Folklore9074]

Good relation with MIL, we’ve different ideas on politics etc. but we’ve gotten on we’ll enough over the years.

Thing is she post pictures that I send her of my new baby DD on Facebook without asking. I don’t know what her privacy setting are or any of her friends, and sometimes they are pictures I might want to post myself and I’ve just shared them with her first because she’s family and I want her to feel involved with our new DD.

AIBU to feel a bit pissed off when something I’ve shared with her ends up on Facebook without her asking? I post stuff myself but then she’s my DD and I know that my privacy is locked down (as much as it can be).

Would IBU to tell her when something can be shared or not be?

YABU - you post stuff of DD anyway, why should she?
YANBU - your baby, your rules

Well she isn't a mind reader.

Just ask her not to.

You can see privacy settings if a photo it tells you.
Have you asked her not to put photos on fb or are you annoyed she gets more likes than you or something?

On not if* you can see the symbol on Facebook to see who it’s shared with

These threads do my head in - adults arguing over 'posting rights' of someone else's images.

Where are your DD's rights in all this?

If they're being ignored then I don't see why your MIL ignoring them as well is any different.

It might be different for you but the result is the same for your DD.

I think if you're posting pictures yourself then it's a bit much to expect her not to. Maybe try only sending her photos that you're happy for her to post? Or tell her when it's a photo that you want to keep off social media.
We decided not to post any pictures of our son on social media until he's old enough to give informed consent (he's nearly 2 now) and all the relatives have respected our decision and not posted any themselves either.

You have two choices either tell her you do not want your baby photos posted on FB or STOP sending her photos. Its an easy choice.

I'm not really sure what the issue is tbh?! I have a niece who lives hours away from me and I love showing her off. I asked permission when she was born and asked if they were OK with pics, they said of course so long as my settings are tight. They'd never expect me to ask before every picture. I'd just never share anything like bath pics, her in a nappy, her upset etc...

Just ask her not to. My FIL did the same (in fact, announced the birth on Facebook before we did, with the pic we sent him to say the baby was here 😂) and my husband asked him to take it down and not post pictures without asking again.

It was an easy straight forward conversation and he never did it again.

Have you asked her not to?

That’s nothing. My MIL attempted to make her Christmas cards with 3month DD on the front.

Either ask her not to post on social media, or stop sending the photos

@WorraLiberty

These threads do my head in - adults arguing over 'posting rights' of someone else's images.

Where are your DD's rights in all this?

If they're being ignored then I don't see why your MIL ignoring them as well is any different.

It might be different for you but the result is the same for your DD.

I whole heartedly agree with this.

@Folklore9074 OP you and your MIL are both being massively unreasonable. Neither of you have the right to plaster someone's image and personal information all over the Internet without their consent 🙄 I say personal information because most people put name and DOB etc. online when announcing the birth of a child.

@NetflixAndSauvignonBlanc

I think if you're posting pictures yourself then it's a bit much to expect her not to. Maybe try only sending her photos that you're happy for her to post? Or tell her when it's a photo that you want to keep off social media. We decided not to post any pictures of our son on social media until he's old enough to give informed consent (he's nearly 2 now) and all the relatives have respected our decision and not posted any themselves either.

I love this. We've done the exact same.

Since when did parents think it's their right to do as they please with their children's data?