I hate how my life has turned out. I don’t see how it will improve. I wake up everyday trying to be positive but by mid afternoon it all goes downhill.
Had an awful childhood of neglect and abuse but I still managed to keep focus and get good grades and finally land a decent job. Never really had any positive relationships and friends and romantic partners just blatantly used me. DH was really lovely to me and I of course married him.
Things were good for a little while even when his crazy mother would try to get in middle, we still stuck together. We lived with her for a year due to tradition. My low self esteem meant I put up with loads of shit e.g. I sat through a phone call where an old Aunty called for a marriage proposal for DH! Mil told her “unfortunately he’s married now” but she took the girls details anyway! Mil was and still is a crazy bitch, she would torture me endlessly and in the end I just used to come home snd go straight to our room and not bother saying hello. Mil is a vile woman and she controlled me so much in earlier days.
We moved out and now have 2 kids and been married for 10 years. DH holds it against me and tries to blame me for stuff e.g. if we stayed with his mum we would have lots of money, if I spoke to his sisters he would be happier. When my DD was born his sisters made awful comments which I stupidly stayed quiet for. A year in and I suddenly got confident and thought not putting up with it so put them in their place. They obviously denied everything and called me crazy. DH was there everytime they said all the crap about girls but he didn’t want to get involved. In couples councelling the therapist asked why he didn’t feel need to back me up when comments about how unlucky we are to have a daughter came up, he had nothing to say. When I asked him why he was happy for people to call me a liar why couldn’t he say the actual truth? But no answer.
We sleep in separate beds. It hurts me he doesn’t care. I’ve put on 2 stones as I feel really unloved. He’s close to his mum and sisters and forgotten all the torture they put us through. I don’t go to any of their events any more but with MIL I’ve tried to be civil snd even really friendly but his dusters who were born n raised in this country should know better. I will never speak to them again.
It’s not just his family that’s led to this, he’s really distanced himself from me. It’s come to the point where we hate each other. I have nothing to talk to him about.