Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not sure how I'll cope over the next few days

24 replies

BreaDe · 23/12/2021 22:58

I found out I had a MMC today at 10.5 weeks.

I have to go in to have it removed on Boxing Day. It's also my birthday on Christmas Day.

We had so many lovely plans which have obviously been cancelled. I was looking forward to telling everyone and showing them my scan photos.

I don't know how to get through the next few days. They also found a few major issues at the scan which need to be investigated ASAP.
I don't know what to do or how to feel.

Aibu to just hide away until it's all over? :(

OP posts:
EllieSattler · 23/12/2021 23:00

Definitely not unreasonable Flowers do whatever you need to do.

LizzieBet14 · 23/12/2021 23:00

Sending love ❤️ xx

Largethighsbadeyes · 23/12/2021 23:01

100% not unreasonable Flowers really sorry OP

DameCelia · 23/12/2021 23:02

@BreaDe I'm so sorry to hear that. UANBU to do whatever you want to do and whatever gets you through the next few days.
Flowers

vonniee · 23/12/2021 23:02

Sending love. I had a loss at 20 weeks this year and I just want to hide away too. Do whatever you need to do to get through the next few days.

Original poster
BreaDe · 23/12/2021 23:11

Thanks all. So sorry Vonnie. Just absolutely rubbish sometimes isn't it!!

OP posts:
ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 23/12/2021 23:12

Flowers So sorry op, do what you need to do. x

NovemberNovemberDarkNights · 23/12/2021 23:15

@BreaDe

I'm so very sorry x

YANBU to do whatever you need to do, to cope with your very difficult loss.

andysgirl22 · 23/12/2021 23:19

So sorry. To all of you whom have suffered in similar ways, be kind to yourselves xx

FriendshipsAreHardForMe · 23/12/2021 23:19

I'm so sorry, what a rubbish time for you. I know how you feel as I had two MCs myself before my children.
.
Don't feel bad for hibernating. And please reach out to your family for support. Don't feel guilty about Xmas etc, there are lots of Christmases ahead.

All the best for Sunday x

WonderfulYou · 23/12/2021 23:24

That is so rubbish, I am so sorry Flowers

What were your plans meant to be?

If you don’t feel like telling anyone, I would say you and your DH are positive for Covid and will be isolating so can’t see anyone over the next few days - just to give you and your DH some time to come to terms with everything a little bit more.

Shamoo · 23/12/2021 23:25

Just look after yourself, OP. Such a tough horrible experience and there is no right or wrong way to be. Be gentle on yourself, try to eat well and sleep if you can. Don’t make yourself do anything you don’t feel up to.

Wishing you all the best for Boxing Day and for your investigations. X

Bakingwithmyboys · 23/12/2021 23:27

I'm sorry OP, sending hugs.

As others have said, do what you want/need to do. X

threecupsofteaminimum · 23/12/2021 23:31

I'm so sorry OP, I know how it feels, you poor thing. Take good care of yourself, treat yourself and be kind to yourself. ThanksThanks

Justcallmebebes · 23/12/2021 23:33

So sorry Brea x

Hunderland · 23/12/2021 23:46
Flowers
Jen123456789 · 23/12/2021 23:56

I am so so sorry. I can empathise because I had an ectopic and a miscarriage before having my son this year. The diagnosis of my ectopic coincided with lockdown in 2020, and it was the best thing in many ways. I hibernated for months, taking lots of time to recover physically and to grieve. Cancel everything, do what you have to do to get through the next few weeks. Focus on getting through things physically and then try to process it mentally after that. You’ll grieve for the future you imagined. Be honest and open with everyone so they know how to respond appropriately. It won’t always be this hard, things will get better. Sending hugs xxx

Jen123456789 · 24/12/2021 00:02

By “the best thing” I meant it was a blessing in disguise that lockdown happened as I was recovering, because it meant that I didn’t have to make excuses not to see anyone. That is how I wanted to deal with things. If that’s also your reaction then you must do what feels right. Don’t feel pressure to put on a brave face!

Blossomsbloom · 24/12/2021 03:15

I'm so sorry, do whatever you feel like doing. Don't feel pressured to be around people. Sending lots of love

Original poster
BreaDe · 24/12/2021 08:48

Thanks everyone. Sorry for all who have been through similar.
It helps to feel I'm not alone x

OP posts:
ArabellaScott · 24/12/2021 08:50

I'm so very sorry. Now is the time to be exceptionally gentle with yourself. Flowers

BlueSuffragette · 24/12/2021 09:16

So sorry OP. I have gone through the same experience. It is so sad. Be kind to yourself. ❤ xx

PicaK · 24/12/2021 09:22

I'm so sorry. Its so crushingly horrible.
The miscarriage board on here was a real comfort to me during mine.
You're allowed to be upset. And to lose it with anyone who tries to minimise what you're feeling.
But just so you know, the painful rawness will lessen over time. Sometimes it took my breath away and I felt like I couldn't move. A friend promised it would get easier to carry the loss around with me and I trusted her tho it didn't feel like it. It helped so I hope that helps you.

Maray1967 · 24/12/2021 10:06

Sending much love and care, OP. I echo what others have said. It helps to take the time you need and do not feel in any way obliged to be with other people. Some will try to minimise it - especially older folks in my experience. I hope you get some answers from the investigation.
If it helps, I had DC 2 after 3 mcs at age 40 and a long run of infertility and then secondary infertility.
But I appreciate that you might not want to be thinking in that way right now.
💐

New posts on this thread. Refresh page