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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if you have a relative aged 65+ at Christmas you should ALL lateral flow test?

127 replies

Fmesanta · 23/12/2021 21:32

Don't want to be the martyr as I know there are a range of views within the family but AIBU to expect all the adults coming to test before they do if we have guests over 65 years old?

OP posts:
CautiousOptimist11 · 24/12/2021 05:13

@WouldBeGood... I couldn't agree more. It is a constant source of frustration to be surrounded by this irrational behaviour.

SaltedCaramelHC · 24/12/2021 05:16

@BogRollBOGOF

I don't LFT without good reason. My lifestyle is low risk, I generally don't have high risk contacts with vulnerable people so there's no point in routinely wasting the plastics, costing the NHS and boosting the Chinese economy by wantonly testing for the sake of it.

I'm prepared to do one before seeing my octogenarian grandma and that's it. I've gone through the inconvience of 3x vaccines, their primary side effects and secondary ones when they screw my periods up. I'm not routinely gagging and sneezing on top of that to satisfy neurotic people that will never be appeased anyway.

Have you tried the newer tests? No gagging and no tickling way up high in the nose. You run the swab round the inside of the nostrils a very short way up. That's it.
YukoandHiro · 24/12/2021 05:17

Obviously yes. Should probably be doing it whatever the ages and risk factors are just to be polite

CautiousOptimist11 · 24/12/2021 05:22

And also....

  • what is the point of the vaccination if we are still obsessed with testing. When is the end point to this. Winter 2022? 2023?never?
People are using LFTs as a comfort blanket it seems. Thank goodness for the shortage now as it may help some people to wean themselves off them.

In addition, if you're all vaccinated and still obsessed with testing all and sundry, then don't in the same breath accuse the unvaccinated population of being entirely responsible for the current wave. You're not making any sense (but I suppose that became the norm in the last year- irrational thought and knee-jerk, pitch fork wielding judgement of others).

Ps I have been double vaccinated

Siameasy · 24/12/2021 08:01

“LFT anon” for those addicted to taking them

I just read on another thread “we have all been testing daily”. Why?! What a waste of tests, waste of plastic and unnecessary anxiety

If I had Covid I’d start charging to infect people because I think the obsessive testers won’t be happy till they get a positive

Siameasy · 24/12/2021 08:06

[quote Fmesanta]@theelephantinthegroup This is precisely the reason why I would feel better if we all tested. I know the majority on here can see and understand that perspective.

Some of the less understanding are probably more representative of what I may be dealing with. I guess I can't force them to but a gentle nudge is all I can do to do my bit. [/quote]
This is the crux of the matter. You have anxiety and you want to control what others are doing - “I would feel better if we all tested”. It’s about your anxiety and your ilk are selfishly prolonging the agony by constantly searching for Covid.

All the obsessive testers will have to find a new hobby when they start charging for tests or they run out.

WouldBeGood · 24/12/2021 08:07

Twitter is full of the excited middle classes posting pictures of tests and bemoaning cheerily the daily stick up the nose 🤣🤷🏻‍♀️

Lifeisnteasy · 24/12/2021 08:09

It’s a personal choice. Nobody should feel obligated to test unless symptomatic.

Deadpoet1 · 24/12/2021 08:10

YANBU. We are all doing an lft including my 10 year old. We're doing one each today and one in the morning and so are the family coming to my house.

Suzi888 · 24/12/2021 08:11

Yes of course they should regardless of age.

Fmesanta · 24/12/2021 08:18

@Siameasy

Yes I absolutely would feel better if attendees tested before coming to Christmas dinner involving 90 year old granny and if heaven forbid we could just have some way of mitigating her contracting COVID then why on earth would we not???!!!!

I'd carry the burden of it if the following day someone tested positive it hadn't piped up in advance and asked to test as a precaution. (Rightly or wrongly, I still would.)

OP posts:
bumblefeline · 24/12/2021 08:20

My DH has covid right now if we had relied on LFTs he would have been spreading it. Every single one was negative until he was about five days in.

Fmesanta · 24/12/2021 08:21

@bumblefeline

My DH has covid right now if we had relied on LFTs he would have been spreading it. Every single one was negative until he was about five days in.
What made you PCR?
OP posts:
CautiousOptimist11 · 24/12/2021 08:23

I'm going to take a wild wild guess here....

Symptoms.

bumblefeline · 24/12/2021 08:24

What made you PCR?

He was a close contact, had a tickly cough, and a temp. Reinfection as well.

Siameasy · 24/12/2021 08:27

[quote Fmesanta]@Siameasy

Yes I absolutely would feel better if attendees tested before coming to Christmas dinner involving 90 year old granny and if heaven forbid we could just have some way of mitigating her contracting COVID then why on earth would we not???!!!!

I'd carry the burden of it if the following day someone tested positive it hadn't piped up in advance and asked to test as a precaution. (Rightly or wrongly, I still would.)[/quote]
Wouldn’t 90 year granny just prefer to enjoy Xmas? At that age there are no guarantees that this isn’t her last. What does she think?

This is all so neurotic.

Fmesanta · 24/12/2021 08:29

@Siameasy

No she wouldn't.

OP posts:
Fmesanta · 24/12/2021 08:29

@CautiousOptimist11

I'm going to take a wild wild guess here....

Symptoms.

I guess you had a 50/50 chance of being right.
OP posts:
DitheringBlidiot · 24/12/2021 08:56

Well don't assume they can get hold of any LFT, I can't!!

WouldBeGood · 24/12/2021 09:13

What do the testers do if you can’t get LFTs?

Shallwegoforawalk · 24/12/2021 09:32

@EbonanzaScrooge

People should be testing before meeting anyone. It’s not just the health worry it’s the sheer Incontinence that goes with it. 10 days isolating isn’t good for anyone.
Snort. Maybe if they publicised that Omicron made us incontinent, people would test more Grin
Siameasy · 24/12/2021 09:35

@WouldBeGood

What do the testers do if you can’t get LFTs?
Panic and stay indoors fretting
DitheringBlidiot · 24/12/2021 09:41

@WouldBeGood

What do the testers do if you can’t get LFTs?
Carry on regardless, be sensible and don't meet up with lots of people, wear a a mask, wash hands/use sanitiser and if I had symptoms or felt unwell I would stay at home.

I've had 3 jabs, I wfh, in all honestly it hadn't even crossed my mind to do a LFT for Christmas, I don't think anyone I am going to see is doing one either. I'm not expecting them to but if it makes them happy they can crack on

WouldBeGood · 24/12/2021 10:28

@Siameasy 🤣

That’s genuinely what i think people will do

ImperfectPirouette · 24/12/2021 10:39

@MolkosTeenageAngst

Are you currently working with a treatment team/have you access to any MH support? Because if so & you’ve not discussed this strand of things with them, you really should. If not - which I know is likely - can you work the Covid!stuff into your more general strategies for combatting OCD & anxiety. For example, The Thoughts tell you that people will turn against you if you were to get covid & tell them. The pushbacks include: everyone who knows you will know you are careful & follow the rules; Omicron, in particular, is incredibly virulent; you are in no way responsible for having caught it & they do not blame you. Moreover, telling them is really important - any negative emotions they may express are not directed at you, nor are they your fault or responsibility. Furthermore, given how covid spreads, there’s no guarantee that you wouldn’t simply have noticed symptoms first, or have symptomatic COVID caught from someone with asymptomatic COVID & thus be trying to assign blame to yourself that isn’t yours. Which of course comes to the next thing: would you treat others like that? “But I deserve it” is not an answer to the question I just asked; & also it is your mind being a big meanypants. I do understand & appreciate fighting the negative self-talk is exhausting. But people really don’t choose to engage with people they secretly loathe & despise; & you do deserve to have Good Things in your life. Which I can know; your mind is a big lying liar that lies if it says otherwise.

More practically, can you make some plans for Just In Case you have to isolate so if that worry tries to kick in you have a written plan of action to stop it in its tracks? Are you able to afford to buy some extra tinned & dried food (& of course, have you space to store it)? Space in your freezer for a loaf of bread? Which supermarkets by you do deliveries, including the 1-hour ones Sainsbury’s & Tesco offer in some places? Can you get Amazon Fresh where you are; &/or do you have Deliveroo with the option of grocery deliveries? Mutual aid is still going in lots of places, & fetching food for people who are isolating is exactly what they’re for: you’d not be bothering them or being a nuisance. Do you have a family member or friend you’d feel able to ask? (I understand that might be too stressful.)

With our absolute shower of a government it’s impossible to know what they’ll do; but there is a very real possibility the rules will change after Christmas.

Please seek support when the suicidal ideation hits, whether that’s your GP/treatment team/crisis team; the Samaritans; or any of the other support services suggested by the NHS. The world would not be a better place without you in it; the people in your life would not be happier without you; & you would be missed.

Have a happy Christmas; & please look after yourself Xmas Smile