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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Does anyone else fall asleep as a result of trauma or stress?

26 replies

Christmaspuddingmayhem · 23/12/2021 17:49

It sounds ridiculous as I think it's far more the norm to have insomnia when stressed or upset?

But I'm under quite a lot of stress at the moment and sometimes, this overwhelming urge to sleep just overcomes me and I cannot keep my eyes open. I have to lie down and sleep for a bit.

I'm really, really tired from about lunchtime on which is unusual for me too as generally a night owl.

It feels different to normal tiredness, I definitely think it is some way of coping with emotional distress. I do have some health issues ongoing but it just feels different?

I don't feel depressed as such - but maybe in a way related to depressed people sleeping a lot?

I have no kids so no need to worry about neglected kids, by the way!

OP posts:
QuestionableMouse · 23/12/2021 17:53

Stress naps are a thing. Your brain reaches a limit and goes "nope, no more".

RockallMalinHebrides · 23/12/2021 17:55

My Dad does this - he did it whilst having a skin cancer removed from his head (and also at the dentist). His consultant describes it as a form of self-hypnosis.

AnneLovesGilbert · 23/12/2021 17:57

My ex claimed to do this. I remember a particularly shocking day when I was made redundant and he sighed and said it was stressing him out so he had to go have a lie down. Supportive he was not.

Original poster
Christmaspuddingmayhem · 23/12/2021 17:58

@QuestionableMouse

Stress naps are a thing. Your brain reaches a limit and goes "nope, no more".
That's what it feels like!
OP posts:
TheFoundation · 23/12/2021 17:59

It's completely normal. Some people sleep more, some less, as a result of stress. The thing to do is not stress about it! Get the rest you need, respect what your body is asking you for.

I have the same response if I've done something stressful (driving test/public speaking/tough exam/musical performance) It seems more unhealthy to me to sleep less as a result of stress; it makes sense biologically that it would make you need more sleep. Stress is hard work.

Original poster
Christmaspuddingmayhem · 23/12/2021 18:00

@AnneLovesGilbert

My ex claimed to do this. I remember a particularly shocking day when I was made redundant and he sighed and said it was stressing him out so he had to go have a lie down. Supportive he was not.
I would not flake out when supporting someone else. This is purely to do with my own stuff.
OP posts:
PurplePikachu · 23/12/2021 18:00

Yeah I’ve always done that. It’s like my brain gets tired out from the stress and then just needs to rest. My reaction to a really scary car crash was to sleep for the rest of the day (no chance of concussion). Maybe my brain sort of processes the upset while I’m asleep?

Faretheewellmyfairyfay · 23/12/2021 18:00

Yes. I often need to sleep it off when I have become very stressed or upset, and this has been the case for decades. Conversely, sometimes it makes my insomnia worse, this is a more recent phenomenon (the insomnia).

TracyBeakerSoYeah · 23/12/2021 18:00

Yes I do, it's like someone has taken my batteries out & I just slump

Lwg87 · 23/12/2021 18:01

This happens to me. When I feel overwhelmed and need to be productive I cannot keep my eyes open.

dontforgettofloss · 23/12/2021 18:01

Yes, when I've been going through extremely stressful times, I could fall asleep anytime, any place, anywhere

Yants · 23/12/2021 18:01

I can have an initial "stress crash out" but only for a short period, perhaps 1 hour max, then I'll be lying awake for the rest of night stressing about whatever it is that's upset me.

DreamerSeven · 23/12/2021 18:01

Yes I have this, it’s my defence mechanism when things are getting on top of me. I find a weighted blanket really beneficial too.

ShoppingBasket · 23/12/2021 18:01

I do this! I've looked it up. It's an actual thing. When there is a stressful situation I just need to sleep. Doesn't matter what is going on, I just need to close my eyes. Something to do with a rush of hormones or something.
I presume it is a way of the body escaping the situation. I really noticed it when my mother passed away, I couldn't wait to get to bed the day of the funeral.

Suzanne999 · 23/12/2021 18:02

Normal. It’s your brain protecting you, saying have a break from all this, switch off for a while.

Iampicklerick · 23/12/2021 18:03

Yeah and I often find I have no memory at all of the bad times, I just think back and it looks all hazy. It’s the brains way of protecting itself. My dad died when I was 12 and I don’t really have any memories of age 10-14. I used to sleep ALL the time.

Original poster
Christmaspuddingmayhem · 23/12/2021 18:05

Gosh I'm so glad I asked this! It seems it's normal then after all! Thank goodness.

OP posts:
pheonixrebirth · 23/12/2021 18:08

My ex partner did this. When he had a job interviews, afterwards he would go out like a light for a couple of hours. It was like all the build up of it and then finally getting it over with just overloaded him.

TheFoundation · 23/12/2021 18:16

I think it's actually, rather than being something wrong, a very healthy mechanism, OP. Just as the mechanism that makes us want to sleep at night is. It's a bit like your body going 'Computer says no', and forcing you to get the rest it needs. Unless you're falling asleep driving or something, it's good for you that your body gives you such a clear signal of what it needs.

AgnesNaismith · 23/12/2021 18:19

Wow I had no idea, I do this all the time. When I’m having a tough time at work I have a lunchtime nap! I think it is China? That have sleep pods which I’ve always thought would be useful to me, I could crawl under my desk and sleep though tbh. Pre pandemic I would have a car nap.

CuriousMariette · 23/12/2021 18:57

Grief, which I guess is a type of stress, makes me sleep. I’ve slept like a log whenever I have first lost someone close. I’m glad to read on here that it’s a normal reaction - I actually feel quite guilty about how well I sleep at those times.

Strokethefurrywall · 23/12/2021 19:12

I do the same. If I’m highly stressed, upset or grieving I’ll sleep 11-12 hours like the dead.

When my brother died, I couldn’t stop sleeping. I realised it was my brain protecting itself.

FatCatSkinnyRat · 23/12/2021 19:22

Wow this is amazing to read.
One of my most abiding memories of when my son had non hodgkins lymphoma 5 years ago (he was 10, he is 15 now and "cured") was the GREAT sleeps I would have in the hospital. On a tiny fold out bed.

This explains a lot, thank you

spottygymbag · 24/12/2021 02:15

DH does this. It took me a while to realise it's his way of coping or processing. I'm a talker and need to speak about it and definitely can't sleep. He will have a quick chat and then shut down and needs to sleep to reboot. He is still supportive when the stress is not his own but will need some extra time and headspace even then. We're all different and it's what works for him (secretly jealous he can put his head down anywhere, anytime, in any situation and have a nap if he feels like it).

spudjulia · 24/12/2021 02:26

Yes! Not just feeling tired, but at times of great stress literally shutting down. Like a huge fatigue and I couldn't possibly keep my eyes open anymore. I had it while my mum was dying - couple of times when things got a bit too overwhelming, like when she had to move hospital one time. My family didn't understand when I was like "I just need a little lie down first". Also happened when a partner who I was living with confessed to cheating on me and I was throwing him out. In the middle of the big row I had to say "you'll have to excuse me, I just need a nap". I hope he thought that was a sign of my indifference.