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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to spend Christmas Day at home.

16 replies

AD80 · 23/12/2021 17:14

After years of traipsing around visiting family on Christmas Day, rushing and getting stressed (our families aren't the easiest). A few years ago we decided to start spending Christmas Day at home just the 4 of us. I started enjoying Christmas more at this point.

We normally would see family leading up to Christmas - like today the 23rd or the 24th but we've just had covid. 3 out of 4 have finished isolating but Dd's last day is tomorrow. Shes been asymptomatic but still has a line so hasn't been able to leave isolation early!

Anyway, because we haven't been able to see family when we normally would this week because of covid - not our fault we've caught the virus.

We've told them Boxing Day or the next day we want Christmas Day at home!

My family are quite okay with this and look forward to this week. As for mil so she's been a total cow!!

Demanding we go over there Christmas Day. We said we could see her Boxing Day but now she's being awkward and saying not to bother at all.

I want Christmas Day at home.

Also, I am still not hundred percent. Im fatigued and don't want to spend half the day away from home. Ds is still fatigued too despite being out of isolation for several days.

We also have to get Ds off to his dads so we are pushed for time.

In laws live 30 minutes away so it's an hour round trip. Plus a few hours there visiting.

We wouldn't normally see them on Christmas Day anyway.

Aibu to think she would butt out? We've all just had covid and it is not our fault as usual plans have changed! Give us a break.

She's not lonely. she has her partner and grown up children there.

We are the only ones with young children yet expected to make the effort driving there as she's too busy to visit (every year).

I'm so done with Christmas and keeping everyone happy!

OP posts:
Kite22 · 23/12/2021 17:33

Of course YANBU.

Though nor is she in thinking it will be as easy to have 10 in her house on one day, rather then 6 to entertain on one day and then be expected to start all over to entertain 6 on the next day. She may prefer a 'down' day on Boxing Day.

Of course, just because you are invited, doesn't mean you have to go.

dudsville · 23/12/2021 17:36

Anyone pressuring you into don't something you don't want to do really didn't have you in mind.

happychristmasbum · 23/12/2021 17:39

YANBU

Just ignore her.

AD80 · 23/12/2021 17:39

@Kite22

Of course YANBU.

Though nor is she in thinking it will be as easy to have 10 in her house on one day, rather then 6 to entertain on one day and then be expected to start all over to entertain 6 on the next day. She may prefer a 'down' day on Boxing Day.

Of course, just because you are invited, doesn't mean you have to go.

We don't expect her to do anything for us on Boxing Day. We were just planning a visit to exchange presents. Wouldn't out stay our welcome! ☺️It didn't have to be Boxing Day either. Dp has a few days off next week so could be any day she prefers but she's being awkward! 🤷‍♀️
OP posts:
Justmuddlingalong · 23/12/2021 17:41

If she's told you not to bother on boxing Day, I'd take her up on that suggestion. Cheeky bitch.

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 23/12/2021 17:41

YANBU. She doesn't want to see you on Boxing Day because she's in a huff? 'Sorry to hear that, hope you have a lovely Christmas, see you sometime soon!'

Ignore the demands. Let your DH deal with her.

AnotherDelphinium · 23/12/2021 17:44

YANBU. At all.

If she says not to bother I’d play it very cool, “oh, ok then, let us know when would work as I’m sure DC will miss you, bye”

AD80 · 23/12/2021 17:46

She's a very huffy person. Once she turned up unannounced at 8pm when one dc was asleep and the other nodding off. She didn't speak to us for weeks because we wouldn't wake them up to see her - on a school night.

On another occasion Dd was on a play date at a friends house and she rang us to come over immediately (30 mins away) and got in a mood because we wouldn't immediately pick Dd up to go to her house to meet one of her distance relatives we didn't even know! We didn't go at all! Bugger that! 😅

This is just so typical of her. Today is my last day out of isolation. I'm still not feeling hundred percent and just want to spend Christmas Day at home!

It's almost comical!

OP posts:
mogsrus · 23/12/2021 17:54

Stay at home then if you so wish, what’s with the demanding bit, Christmas is 12 days not 12 minutes why everyone seems to think they have to bend to these stupid ideas is beyond comprehension stick to your guns, it’s your Christmas too.

AD80 · 23/12/2021 17:56

@mogsrus

Stay at home then if you so wish, what’s with the demanding bit, Christmas is 12 days not 12 minutes why everyone seems to think they have to bend to these stupid ideas is beyond comprehension stick to your guns, it’s your Christmas too.
Absolutely. Dp has a few days off next week so we'll be free quite a bit!

I remember childhood and visiting family after Christmas around new year etc. Now everyone wants it done and dusted by Boxing Day!

OP posts:
Invasionofthegutsnatchers · 23/12/2021 17:59

I refuse to travel on Christmas Day now. Either my parents come here for 2 nights or we stay with my in laws for 2 nights. Much prefer being at home.

mogsrus · 23/12/2021 18:07

So glad I’ve never in all my life had to go through any of this rubbish. You have 52 weeks to see anyone anytime, what is it with the so called big day.? It’s 24 hours long no difference to any other & it’s about time people just relaxed a bit what is the point getting so uptight for one day please explain

NameChangeCity123 · 23/12/2021 18:12

@Justmuddlingalong

If she's told you not to bother on boxing Day, I'd take her up on that suggestion. Cheeky bitch.
This. She has no right to try and hit you with an ultimatum
AD80 · 23/12/2021 18:55

@mogsrus

So glad I’ve never in all my life had to go through any of this rubbish. You have 52 weeks to see anyone anytime, what is it with the so called big day.? It’s 24 hours long no difference to any other & it’s about time people just relaxed a bit what is the point getting so uptight for one day please explain
Hundred percent !
OP posts:
billy1966 · 23/12/2021 18:58

@mogsrus

So glad I’ve never in all my life had to go through any of this rubbish. You have 52 weeks to see anyone anytime, what is it with the so called big day.? It’s 24 hours long no difference to any other & it’s about time people just relaxed a bit what is the point getting so uptight for one day please explain
Completely agree.

Thanks be to goodness we don't have any of this.

It's just one day.

The older I get the less interested in it I am.

mogsrus · 23/12/2021 19:01

Yup !,,,must agree the older you get the less interested I think you become, it’s now all money hype sadly

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