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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not buy my son any birthday presents?

38 replies

bloomingheck1 · 23/12/2021 08:37

Hi all,

It's my sons birthday on the 28th January and he'll be one and I'm tempted not to get him anything due to two reasons really one we're skint, I've had to come out of work due to mental health issues (long story) and the second is because he's the only baby in the family people have really gone OTT with the presents (which is lovely) but he has about 30 new toys and a lot of clothes which I'm so grateful for but then adding more just a month later doesn't seem like a good idea, we will be doing things on his birthday like getting a cake, going to the aquarium and he'll be made a fuss of but AIBU to not get him material presents because I feel a bit bad about it.

Thank you

OP posts:
Darningfever · 23/12/2021 08:39

Why can't you save some of his christmas presents until his birthday?

acquiescence · 23/12/2021 08:40

YANBU.
I am not skint or struggling really but got a few second hand toys for my 1 year olds 1st Xmas this year, I spent less than £10. He won’t know any different and will be happy. Do what works at this age and enjoy the day.

igivein · 23/12/2021 08:40

Sounds reasonable Smile

Soubriquet · 23/12/2021 08:40

I was gonna say yabu because as a December born (17th), I always hated birthmas but at 1 years old, nah it’s fine.

Original poster
bloomingheck1 · 23/12/2021 08:40

@Darningfever

Why can't you save some of his christmas presents until his birthday?
You know I never actually thought of that, I might keep my presents until his birthday; I'm sure he won't notice the Christmas wrapping paper Grin thank you!
OP posts:
Plinkplonk1234 · 23/12/2021 08:40

I think that's perfect for a 1st birthday. I only got mine very small gifts and if he has loads of things already he does need anymore.

QueenoftheNimbleFlyingCat · 23/12/2021 08:41

He won't even know its his birthday so don't feel bad. I would do as pp suggests, save one of his Xmas presents perhaps?

DropYourSword · 23/12/2021 08:46

I saw your title and was ready to pull on my judgey pants!
But;
He’s 1!
You’re skint!
He has lots of presents
He’ll never remember

It makes perfect sense to do this. I agree with a PP to reserve some of his Christmas presents - too many can be overwhelming anyway for little ones.

oviraptor21 · 23/12/2021 08:47

Perfect solution. Whatever you do, do not get into debt to buy presents (that applies whatever age they are).

OrionsAccessory · 23/12/2021 08:48

Yanbu it sounds like you’ve planned a lovely birthday for him!

Mermaidwaves · 23/12/2021 08:48

I think a cake and a trip to the aquarium sounds lovely Smile better to use the money for that than presents he will likely outgrow very quickly.

LincolnshireLassInLondon · 23/12/2021 08:59

YANBU!

I didn't get DS any gifts for his 1st birthday but we did have all his favourite food, cake and a trip to a new park (lockdown so options limited - aquarium sounds even better). It was a lovely day that I will remember forever.

We also ended up staggering his presents from family over a few days as more than 3 new things was overwhelming for him. He certainly didn't need any more stuff! His favourite thing was a balloon.

Have a lovely day - it's about you as well as him at that age - and don't worry about gifts.

RememberThePenguins · 23/12/2021 09:04

DD is a new year baby and if I recall correctly she got a rattle for her birthday from us and nothing else. She was fine Grin

pointythings · 23/12/2021 09:04

He's 1, it's fine. Both of mine were born shortly after Christmas (late Jan, very early Feb) and we were always skint. When they were very little we spread the gifts out, as they got older we talked to them about what was financially possible. It was never a problem.

TheSandgroper · 23/12/2021 09:05

Dd is mid January. For a few years I only bought little presents. My family bought well. I took contributions from my family for her big birthday gift, eg climbing frame. We also contributed to that plus a few little bits but it means no one had to think about it for a few years. Any cash from dh’s overseas family I kept until the mid year sales as at that age, they develop so much that what I bought as mid year would suit better, iyswim.

LittleBearPad · 23/12/2021 09:06

A day trip out and some held back presents sounds ideal. He’ll no doubt get lots more presents for his birthday too from family.

Hemingwayscatz · 23/12/2021 09:08

As someone else said, just give him some of his Christmas presents on his birthday. One year old’s prefer the wrapping paper anyway.

Marmite27 · 23/12/2021 09:08

For our nephews third Christmas MIL said we’d bought far too much for one small child and split it, half for now and half for his birthday in June as he’s be able to play with them better without being overwhelmed. (He lives with MIL). If we felt bad about not getting him anything for his birthday we could put money in his savings account Grin

BlowDryRat · 23/12/2021 09:09

YANBU. He won't have a clue about the presents.

Bookworm20 · 23/12/2021 10:22

He's 1. He'll get presents from family and well he's 1. He won't have a clue what a birthday even is. He really doesn't need a present at that age, a day out and a cake is plenty.
YANBU at all.

Emerald5hamrock · 23/12/2021 10:25

Hold back a Christmas gift or give him something from the pound shop, if he is going to get family presents he'll have enough.

AmyDudley · 23/12/2021 10:32

Both of mine have birthdays within a week of Christmas, when they were very little I just kept one present back from Christmas, they don;t even know its their birthday - we did balloons and a cake, but really that was as much for us as for them ! There's only so much stuff a one year old needs.

cansu · 23/12/2021 10:38

Perfectly reasonable. Hold back a couple of gifts. I would do the same.

piglet81 · 23/12/2021 10:49

Sounds very sensible. I hope baby has a lovely birthday and that 2022 is a better year for you MH wise Flowers

Imdreamingofapeacefulxmas · 23/12/2021 10:53

I would pop in money into savings for him instead or and save towards fun things when he is older like yearly pass to somewhere