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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think meeting family / friends after 3 months is okay

4 replies

StartingAgain33 · 22/12/2021 21:20

Been dating a lovely guy for three months. We took it quite slowly with one date a week, and recently he went away and we ramped up when he got back, I guess we'd missed eachother and both felt a bit more confident in eachother's feelings. So we've spent most of the last week together (partly because he's needed to be in the area a lot which is rare), which has been lovely and really comfortable (although I do need a few days break now).

He suggested that if it was possible with restrictions we spend new years together in another city with a few of his friends, which I really like the idea of. But now that has turned into a 4 / 5 day tour of Devon / Dorset, dropping into his friends, family friends and aunt and uncle on the way etc plus this new year night in Bristol.

I now think this is very unlikely with covid etc, but in normal times, would you think this is too much for this stage in the game? He doesn't get to see these people often and I guess wants to take the opportunity to introduce me as we live in London where not a lot of his friends / family live.

But I told my friend today and he said he thought it was a bit much and was I sure. He doesn't know that much about my dating life but last time we chatted I did say I had a habit of meeting intense weirdos so that's probably influenced him. I felt like a bit of an idiot and like he thinks I'm jumping into something too quickly. I have been burned in the past by people with avoidant attachments / a variety of issues but this time I think the guy seems really nice and secure - no red flags so far - and that he just really likes me (things feel lovely and comfortable together). But my friend has me doubting and thinking am I being an idiot / are we going too fast?

OP posts:
scarpa · 22/12/2021 21:45

I think that's perfectly normal! And it's nice that he wants you to meet people, he obviously sees a future with you.

Kite22 · 22/12/2021 21:50

I agree with Scarpa

Going away for a few days isn't really committing either of you to anything.
If it doesn't work out then there is nothing lost.
It isn't like you are moving in together or moving where you live or work or introducing dc or something, it is just a few days away.

Dorismargaret · 22/12/2021 21:57

Sounds too early to me. Do you want the hassle of meeting all these new people so early on in the relationship.

I think if it was just a weekend trip away that involved seeing a few friends that would be OK but meeting his family seems too much too soon.

Have you had the exclusive talk yet?

StartingAgain33 · 22/12/2021 22:02

@Dorismargaret we haven't, but only because it seems very obvious on both sides we're really into each other / not seeing other people and I almost felt a bit silly bringing up, like it would look insecure when it's so obvious? I should do before I go. Would be very surprising - and weird - if he was still seeing people! I've met his best mate etc and they'd all heard about me...

I might just go to the bristol bit which is mates and not do the aunty and uncle stuff maybe. Isn't his parents or brother - his mum passed away, he doesn't have a great relationship with his dad. His brother does live in our city but he hasn't suggested meeting him which is good as it would be his closest family member and maybe a bit much.

OP posts:
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