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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask why some parents do this?

100 replies

bantuknots73 · 22/12/2021 13:55

Can I ask why some parents refer to their child's age in months? For example say if a friend, family member or even someone random asks how old your child is now and you reply saying, 'oh he/she is 28 months.'
Can I ask why?

When I was a teenager I never understood why people did this but thought I just didn't understand enough about having kids😂
But even now I seriously don't understand. Isn't it easier to say 'oh he/she just turned 2?' Please let me know!! It's seriously been bugging me since joining MN😂 I saw a comment recently where someone said their child is 37 months. I was so confused!

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 22/12/2021 16:16

@toomuchlaundry

Clothes also come in months sizes at that age
Most stop at 18 months
Bubblty · 22/12/2021 16:18

Because all the health care staff ask me and I looked silly when I couldn't remember

Bubblty · 22/12/2021 16:18

And clothes seem to come in months up to 24

Soubriquet · 22/12/2021 16:20

The difference between a 13 month old and a 23 month old is huge. Both are 1 years of age, but completely different developmently. So it makes sense to do it by months until they are 2

BrunoJenkins · 22/12/2021 16:32

wouldn't you say, 'they just turned 1' or 'they're 2 next month.' I've always thought that would be easier

DD is 15 months so "just turned 1" isn't really true and she's developed a hell of a lot since her birthday. Months are so much more meaningful at this age.

Antsgomarching · 22/12/2021 16:34

Cos thats the last time I slept till 7am 2years 3 months 7 days 4 hours 12 minutes.it’s important to me lol.

Its because it makes a difference developmentally. My kid is quite big so if I said 1 people would assume close to 2 but she would actually be 1yr and 1 month. People would expect her to be able to talk for example so she would have questions like what is your name and then be declared to be shy. I’m probably a bit precious about it 🤷🏽‍♀️. Tbf now she can talk she still refuses to speak to strangers (good girl!).

Now she’s 2 I don’t think of her in months at all.

Original poster
bantuknots73 · 22/12/2021 16:38

@BrunoJenkins

wouldn't you say, 'they just turned 1' or 'they're 2 next month.' I've always thought that would be easier

DD is 15 months so "just turned 1" isn't really true and she's developed a hell of a lot since her birthday. Months are so much more meaningful at this age.

@BrunoJenkins but she turned 1 three months ago so would you not consider that recent? I understand months are meaningful and shows where they should be development wise. But I'm literally talking about when you're catching up with a friend and they say 'oh how old is she now' you could say just gone 1 or she was 1 a few months ago. Obviously people can say what they want but I just always wondered!
OP posts:
Original poster
bantuknots73 · 22/12/2021 16:39

@girlmom21

I don't get it after 2. Trying to work out how old the 39 month old is in years hurt my brain Grin
Same I'm shit at maths as it is😂
OP posts:
JisForJellyfish · 22/12/2021 16:41

Most people stop around 1.5, and in some situations until 2.

Whenever I hear it past 2, I know we won't be friends, they're wankers. Probably the type of gentle parent that feels little Sebastian should not apologise for pushing over other children because the thought he might have done something wrong might scar him for life. Free spirit etc. Hmm You know the type!
I usually just look at them perplexed and say 'oh 2 then?' and try to avoid conversation with them because I know they'll annoy me.

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 22/12/2021 16:42

YANBU, it's very irritating!

SilkLabrador · 22/12/2021 16:42

At 12 months and one day my child couldn't sit, crawl, stand or walk.

At 23 months and 29 days my child could sit, crawl and walk.

At both times he was one year old. Using months makes the difference easier to explain.

SilkLabrador · 22/12/2021 16:44

@KirstenBlest

Don't worry about it bbut brush up on your 12 times table.

The one that puzzles me is why a mum was referring to her premature DC's age as his birthday being his due date.

Because developmentally premature babies are counted from their due date. A baby born 2 months early will not hit milestones two months earlier.

It's referred to as actual/adjusted.

Siameasy · 22/12/2021 16:46

I always assumed months is metric and years is imperialGrin

I find it pretentious. Maybe they’re deliberately trying to fox me. Like people saying their weight/height in kilos/metres.

MajorCarolDanvers · 22/12/2021 16:46

I counted in months till about 18 months.

BrunoJenkins · 22/12/2021 16:47

@bantuknots73 No it's not recent, not when you consider that those 3 months are a fifth of her life!

Or put it this way - if you were 33, would you tell people you'd "just entered my 30s"? Isn't just saying "33" easier and more accurate?

However if I'm talking to someone childless who I can tell is only really asking to make conversation (often a man) I will be more vague as you say, because I would assume they wouldn't have the knowledge about what being 15 months old implies developmentally.

Lifeisnteasy · 22/12/2021 16:49

@Forion

I think it's so they seem younger than they are. Perhaps they prefer to think of them in baby terms for as long as possible.
I think this as well.
rockinghorsebadge · 22/12/2021 16:51

@SickAndTiredAgain

Depends what you’re talking about I guess. If you’re talking about, say, potty training, it might be more helpful to give a more precise age. If anyone asks me how old DD is, I say 2 and a half. But if I was posting a question about potty training I’d be more specific, as 27 months is different to 33 months but both might be rounded to about 2 and a half if speaking more generally.
Exactly this.

I got ripped apart on here when I was talking about my 26 month old when potty training. People can be such dicks.

Original poster
bantuknots73 · 22/12/2021 16:55

@BrunoJenkins

Or put it this way - if you were 33, would you tell people you'd "just entered my 30s"? Isn't just saying "33" easier and more accurate?

This is kind of my point though. Yes it may be more accurate to say the exact month for health reasons or speaking to a professional or whatever, but what's the need to say it to a friend/family member? I'm clearly not understanding here😂 also there'd be nothing wrong with someone saying they were early 30s instead of saying 33 for whatever reason. 3 years is also a big difference as opposed to 3 months.

That's also my point. If I'm asking my friend/family member, 'oh how old are they again,' I'm not thinking about any development stages in my mind. Surely people don't do this unless it's the topic of conversation?

OP posts:
MatildaTheCat · 22/12/2021 16:56

SIL has a puppy and tells everyone the age in weeks. Currently circa 29 weeks I believe. Hmm

mam0918 · 22/12/2021 16:56

I find:

hours for the first 48 hours or so

days possibly up until maybe 2 weeks

weeks up until maybe 3 months

months then up until 11 months

half years rounded up/down until primary school age (example: a 1 and a half year old is different from a just turn 1 year old or nearly 2 year old)

then full years

It's the only logical way to do it. I have zero urge to be counting 57 weeks or 33.5 months etc... myself and even less to try and work out what you mean when you say little Damion is 75 months and 13 hours old.

Original poster
bantuknots73 · 22/12/2021 16:57

I think it's so they seem younger than they are. Perhaps they prefer to think of them in baby terms for as long as possible.

I definitely think this is the case with some people

OP posts:
sarah13xx · 22/12/2021 16:59

Sets off a little rage alarm inside me 😂 when my child hits one I will be answering with ‘he was one in August’, then ‘he’s one and a half’ then a few months later ‘he’s nearly two’ and repeat each year or pretty much once they’re two no one cares, they’re two and that’s it 😂

sarah13xx · 22/12/2021 17:01

Yes! Definitely so they sound like a baby. I’m an infant teacher and there’s parents that do this with their child in all aspects of life to keep them a baby as long as physically possible. Sooo many unable to zip up their jacket, open their snack or even go to the toilet by themselves when they start school. I’m all for helping them if they’re genuinely stuck but parents need to accept they aren’t a tiny baby anymore

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 22/12/2021 17:03

@HeadToToesNo

Anyone counting in months past 9 months is ridiculous. I often see it as a signifier that we won't be friends Grin
Is give them a little more leeway than that, but I know what you mean.
sarah13xx · 22/12/2021 17:03

Another thing like this that I saw recently… a girl I know has had three children. I don’t think she’s going to have anymore now but I get the vibe that she wants to keep the youngest as ‘young’ as possible. She starts school in august but I saw her still pushing her in her buggy the other day. I only have a baby so really don’t know the cut offs as to when I’ll be expecting him to walk himself but in a buggy at almost 5? Really?