Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Is this normal or AIBU - work thing

35 replies

Ceci03 · 22/12/2021 13:00

So my co-worker has been on maternity leave since this time last year, and is due back on 3rd Jan. My team leader has been talking to me about her starting back and all that kind of stuff. She did a whip round for the girl who covered her maternity, who is leaving tomorrow.
BUT, I know that my co-worker is not coming back, she told me she has cancer, and will be getting chemo in the new year. Massive shock, I was very upset to hear that, and have been texting her. Meanwhile, the girl covering has told me that the team leader has had contracts drawn up for her and asked her to stay on after xmas.
But team leader has said nothing to me - she doesn't know I know about the co-worker being sick, or the girl staying on.

Is that weird or AIBU
It's just me and co-worker, and then the team leader (who also manages another bigger team). There's a leaving do on zoom for co-worker tomorrow, and I've signed the card, and donated a tenner for her present. I just feel weird about it, that TL has said nothing to me...?
My co-worker has asked me a few times has the TL told me about her being ill yet.
The girl covering said she just said my co-worker wanted to extend hare maternity leave which is why she needs her to stay on...
I just think it's a bit weird. Or maybe I'm the weird one?

OP posts:

namechange30455 · 22/12/2021 14:48

You say "meanwhile, the girl covering has told me that the team leader has had contracts drawn up for her and asked her to stay on after xmas."

Is she definitely actually staying on? You haven't said she is, just that the team leader has asked her to?

Boood · 22/12/2021 14:56

It’s kind of weird that you refer to the person you’ve been working with in a team of two for presumably a year as “the girl” or “the woman”.

KeepApart · 22/12/2021 14:57

I think you need to tell the TL you know, its a difficult situation and it's possible the TL just doesn't really know what to say at this stage or what they can say, who to tell etc.

Tbh the baby thing, in my experience it has been the friend colleague I.e. you, in this situation who's announced when someone has had a baby, not the TL.

TolkiensFallow · 22/12/2021 15:03

I think the weird thing about this is having a collection and leaving do for someone who isn’t leaving. I would say to the TL “hey, my friend told me about her cancer treatment and the cover told me she will be staying so shall we post pone the gift giving until she’s actually going?”

As a TL I wouldn’t discuss any of the rest of it with you until it was sorted. Even then I would just say “your friend isn’t returning yet and the cover is staying on”

Bluntness100 · 22/12/2021 15:21

I’d also find rhe leaving do the oddest thing. Ever. Are you sure she’s defintely coming back?

Hankunamatata · 22/12/2021 15:28

Your friend needs to tell people. Team leader cant

Original poster

Ceci03 · 22/12/2021 15:37

@Boood

It’s kind of weird that you refer to the person you’ve been working with in a team of two for presumably a year as “the girl” or “the woman”.

Sorry I should have called them A and B at the beginning. I started to call her a 'girl' as she's a good bit younger then me, but then I thought that isn't very PC is it lol.

I understand that TL can't say WHY my friend (who was on mat leave) isnt coming back, but do find it odd she hasnt told me anything.

Yes, my colleague/co-worker, who was covering the mat leave for the past year is DEFINITELY staying on. She told me yesterday. She was happy as she didnt have anything lined up.

THe leaving 'do' on zoom, is at 10am tomorrow. Maybe the TL will say it then. She couldnt go through with it could she??? Or maybe she will. Just think overall that confidentiality is there to protect people's privacy. I guess I will ask my friend (who is sick), if she wants me to tell people, or if there's people she would like to know or not.

OP posts:

HardbackWriter · 22/12/2021 15:42

Your TL obviously has a real fear of giving away confidential information; possibly she's made a mistake in the past, maybe it's just a general fear. You're clearly right that she's being over the top about it but I think it probably comes from a place of genuine concern about getting it wrong, not any desire to be weird or petty.

Auntycorruption · 22/12/2021 15:50

The new contract thing sounds like an unscrupulous way to avoid paying her for Xmas.

Maybe the new contract in Jan will be advertised and actually someone else will get it.

Original poster

Ceci03 · 22/12/2021 16:36

No it's not going to be advertised. I think it is unscrupulous tbh, I think they should just extend her contract from tomorrow....

Just spoke to my friend (who has been on mat leave). She was very upset with TL. Said she TOLD her it wasnt a secret and she woudl rather people know why she is not coming back... So I just emailed round some people I know she is friendly with and I told the TL I had spoken to her and in accordance with her wishes, had told team members and others.

I'm trying to give TL the benefit of the doubt here but cant really see why she is not being more open, at least to me, as we are such a small team of 2. (3 with her)

OP posts:

Flip

1 2