Christmas angst

[BareTrees2021]

GP with four adult DC, two married. Tried to be flexible and support the DC in having a good Christmases but has left me very upset as year after year we are squeezed in for a brief visit and it feels like being in a railway station. Both married DC have had their Christmas meal with their in laws every year for the last five and spend a chunk of Christmas with them. We have two empty seats at the table every year. Would just love one family Christmas - late lunch then opening presents and chilling out as a family enjoying time with the DGC as the other families have every year. Am happy to host or to go anywhere (we are all within an hours drive). Been a really bad year for me with deaths of close family members and I have no idea of how I am going to cope at Christmas when the other two DC expect a proper Christmas (they have no where else to go). They too would like to celebrate with their siblings.

Any suggestions - maybe not this year, but for the future. I hate Christmas but can't get away from it.

@BareTrees2021 I think your last post comes across as you being a little unfair. Both these DCs have small DC by the sounds of it. Life is so busy, they are used to the routine of going to in-laws. Without you saying something, how could they possibly know you really wanted them over for Christmas this year? They might think you're not that bothered about Christmas as you don't invite them.

My family has suffered bereavements this year and I am worried how miserable Christmas is going to be to be honest. I don't feel like inviting more people round for festive cheer will help, I fear we will all be very somber.

Ah ok. Sorry for my assumption about them being sons.

Perhaps the conversation about not having Christmas with you has stuck so they don't even consider it.

Thanks for the comments - very helpful. In answer to questions. We have a good relationship with both married DC's and see/am in regular contact, particularly the one with DGC's. I agree that they have probably got used to going to the in laws though the arrangements for seeing us have evolved with the arrival of DGC . Rightly, they have more time at home and less time with us. This year, we did say to one that we are having Christmas lunch and that they were welcome to join us but maybe it was too late. Having put forward some invitations/suggestions, I guess I am fearful of refusal. Last year, we did have discussions and I understood why it was important to go to the in laws due to their situation. I guess that is why I hoped there would be similar insight this year into mine.

Yes I think you need to get in early for next year.