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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Am I being paranoid re: neighbour and keys

17 replies

avobelly · 22/12/2021 09:37

Long time lurker but first time posting. Not sure if I am being unreasonable/paranoid about this, and more importantly, I need advice on what to do about it...

My building has five flats, I live in the top one (no lifts). My neighbour two floors down is a bit quirky (can't elaborate as worried it's too specific to him), but on the rare occasions that DP and I have encountered him, he's been perfectly friendly.

A few weeks ago, DP and I had to isolate, so we had a lot of deliveries, takeaways etc. coming in that we needed to have brought up to the top floor. I know it's not ideal, but we did try to limit it, and the delivery guys weren't any noisier than we would have been making the trips ourselves (probably less so if anything).

On three separate occasions - notably all in the evening - neighbour opened his door to challenge the delivery guy. We could hear neighbour asking them who they were, what they were doing, etc., which seemed a bit odd given that they usually wear helmets and/or a uniform/branded jacket of some sort so it's pretty obvious. Neighbour has a peephole, so surely he could've just taken a quick look, determined it was a delivery, and gotten on with his life. And these are just the occasions we noticed/heard.

Fast forward to us being out of isolation again. One night i came home around 10pm, and sure enough, he opened his door (despite having a peephole). I said hi and kept walking, but he ignored me and just kind of stared past me whilst holding the door wide open.

I was bemused at the time, but now I'm a bit worried: my keys have gone missing since I last opened my flat. They are definitely not in the flat, but I must have let myself in somehow as DP wasn't in.... what worries me is that I have a track record of leaving the keys in the external lock after letting myself in, so theoretically someone could have taken them - specifically this neighbour.

I feel silly typing this and expect to be told I'm paranoid for thinking he walked up 2 floors to take my keys (how would he even known they were there? But if he's spying on people, maybe that's just what he does?)

I genuinely feel creeped out as I can't think of any other possibilities... please tell me there is a simple answer that I am missing!

OP posts:

alienbaby · 22/12/2021 09:42

"we had a lot of deliveries, takeaways etc. coming in that we needed to have brought up to the top floor. I know it's not ideal, but we did try to limit it"

No you didn't

CiderJolly · 22/12/2021 09:44

It does sound like you have annoyed him.

Nothing here that makes me think it’s likely he has stolen your keys though.

Seeline · 22/12/2021 09:45

Simple answer - you put your keys in a pocket as you came in, put them down somewhere, or dropped them in a bag. They will probably turn up.

If you are that uncomfortable, change your locks.

BumBurnerBum · 22/12/2021 09:45

I don't get why you having deliveries is any of your neighbours business or something you should try and limit.

cruffin · 22/12/2021 09:47

Just change the locks

Theunamedcat · 22/12/2021 09:47

@alienbaby

"we had a lot of deliveries, takeaways etc. coming in that we needed to have brought up to the top floor. I know it's not ideal, but we did try to limit it"

No you didn't

They were isolating they needed to eat

LittleBabyCheeses · 22/12/2021 09:47

@alienbaby

"we had a lot of deliveries, takeaways etc. coming in that we needed to have brought up to the top floor. I know it's not ideal, but we did try to limit it"

No you didn't

So what if she didn’t? People are entitled to have deliveries, especially if they can’t actually leave their flat…

CherieBabySpliffUp · 22/12/2021 09:48

Change your locks to put your mind at ease and make more of a conscious effort to keep track of your keys.

LaurieFairyCake · 22/12/2021 09:50

I just wouldn't give a crap about how many deliveries I had ever

You can go up and down stairs as much as you like

I would change the locks though

Totalwasteofpaper · 22/12/2021 09:58

I'd change the yale barrel at least.

Also develop a new habit / routine for your keys so you check them ( key bowl by the door or something)

He sounds like a right weirdo. We has similar nosey/ controlling neighbours bloody annoying...

DumplingsAndStew · 22/12/2021 10:04

@avobelly

Is one of your quirky neighbour's identifying behaviours that they spawned an extra terrestrial being, by any chance?

RatherBeRiding · 22/12/2021 10:19

I'd just change the locks and be more careful with my keys in future. I believe there are key rings that you can track from a phone if you misplace them?

And he does sound weird. Not at all his business how many deliveries you have, especially if you couldn't leave the flat. I highly doubt he's crept up two floors to retrieve your keys but no harm in changing the lock anyway especially if you are missing a set of keys.

NorthSouthcatlady · 22/12/2021 10:23

I would change one of the locks just in case. He sounds rather odd and controlling. Hopefully you will find them but just in case. I know having covid makes me feel vague and distracted

Amused about people aggrieved about you getting stuff delivered. Should you have starved? Not isolated? Is there a quota of deliveries people are allowed in a week / month lm not aware of?!

FenceSplinters · 22/12/2021 10:25

It’ll put your mind at rest to change the locks. Your keys are guaranteed to turn up as soon as you have the locked change though!

AuntyBumBum · 22/12/2021 10:48

You've lost your keys, so change at least one of the locks. The rest of the story isn't really relevant.

(Very easy and cheap too change the cylinder in a Yale-type lock.)

Felsham · 22/12/2021 18:20

@alienbaby

"we had a lot of deliveries, takeaways etc. coming in that we needed to have brought up to the top floor. I know it's not ideal, but we did try to limit it"

No you didn't

Why should they?!

MorningStarling · 22/12/2021 18:28

Change the locks, be more careful with your keys in future. If you don't find the keys you will always be worrying. If you do find them you still should worry because perhaps he took a copy then let himself into your flat while you were out to return the original set.

Also get some CCTV cameras inside your flat, you're top floor so hopefully the only likely entrance is your own front door (unless there is a fire escape he could use). So a camera covering that should do.

Without knowing why he's "quirky" it's hard to know for sure it's him. Perhaps he's just concerned about burglars, people who have been victim to them before for example often have a heightened fear.

However it's just as likely someone else has your keys, maybe another neighbour or maybe a visitor to the building. For this reason alone, change the locks ASAP. If you can't get it done immediately make sure you put a chair or some furniture in front of the door in case he lets himself in. Better still, a rape alarm can be taped/strung up across the door so it goes off if he comes in while you're asleep.

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