to not want to feel guilty over Christmas plans?

[BearPomBear]

I'm hosting Christmas day, nothing major, just my young son, adult DD, her partner and my 2 year old grandson. Boxing day we will all be going to my mums. I really want to stay over at my mums boxing day night for maybe the Monday too, coming home Tuesday. But I feel so guilty that my adult DD will be on her own at home with grandson for 2 days as her partner will be at work working long hours. She already struggles with her mental health and finds being alone difficult, especially with her son. I already spend a lot of time with them but I just really want this time away at my mums, with my youngest, I've had a really tough year but I just always feel guilty about my choices. Aibu?

YANBU - that sounds fine so just do it.

YANBU, of course it is fine to do that! Your Dd will have had 2 lovely days , you can’t be with her all the time.

After Boxing Day other ‘mum’ friends may be around, she can pop to the park etc.

You need time with your Mum, too.

And, you can’t pour from an empty cup, and all that.

This is why I hate Christmas! Trying to please everyone which is impossible, so the best thing is to please yourself.

Sounds like you’re both having a hard time and both of you just want your mums. Neither is wrong really.

I feel for you both. But she will survive 2 days with you away and you will get the break you need. You can't pour from an empty jug etc
Does she get a break normally eg childminder/nursery. Can you persuade her to put herself first and sort that out if she's a sahm.
I remember the horror of those long, dark afternoons with a small child stretching interminably into the evenings. My mental health was low and got lower.
Can you give her a couple of errands to run - to get her out of the house? Ones where she gets to talk to people? Have you any friends who will be complicit in absolutely needing kitchen gadget x and offer a cup of coffee when she drops it round.
I don't how any of those new mums survived the misery of covid over the last couple of years. I would have been in a right state.
Maybe she's just like you and will put other people first before her own needs.

Is there any way she and her son could stay too? Sounds like you could both do with the break, if it was ok with your mum of course.

@U8976532

Is there any way she and her son could stay too? Sounds like you could both do with the break, if it was ok with your mum of course.

That certainly wouldn't be a break for me! 😅 Grandson is adorable but very full on and I really need the break

@U8976532

Is there any way she and her son could stay too? Sounds like you could both do with the break, if it was ok with your mum of course.

Are women ever, EVER allowed a break where they are not supporting or benefitting someone else?