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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH and sex...

5 replies

LittleEli · 22/12/2021 07:13

Hello! Name change poster here, wondering wtf is going on with DH, or if I'm just overthinking things. Been together for 25 years, both in our late 50s. Neither of us have a hugely high sex drive, me especially not since the menopause. We had sex at the weekend, instigated by me. He wouldn't let me 'do' anything to him, I couldn't kiss him, change position, touch him, stroke him etc, it was over in a flash and I ended up feeling a bit used. He said it can't have been that bad because I had an orgasm. I wouldn't say it was bad...it just felt a bit off. If it's relevant, I used to have a high earning job which I retired early from, and retrained into a less well paid vocation which I love. I'm wondering if he's asserting some kind of authority, or if I'm hugely overthinking here? He thinks I'm making a fuss over nothing.

OP posts:
Ragwort · 22/12/2021 07:18

Perhaps he just wasn't really in the mood but went along with it as he knew you wanted sex.. I sound like your DH Blush ... I would hate my DH to 'analyse' my performance in bed. I doubt it's got anything to do with your career change.

Bopahula · 22/12/2021 07:20

I'm not surprised you feel used. He basically took all the intimacy out of it and just had sex with you doing as you were told. :(

Sparkletastic · 22/12/2021 07:22

That sounds rubbish but was he worried about being overstimulated and finishing too soon if he's out of practice?

Redwinestillfine · 22/12/2021 07:25

He was clearly just not really in the mood but happy to go through the motions for you.

LittleEli · 22/12/2021 07:36

@Ragwort

Perhaps he just wasn't really in the mood but went along with it as he knew you wanted sex.. I sound like your DH Blush ... I would hate my DH to 'analyse' my performance in bed. I doubt it's got anything to do with your career change.
Not so much analysing, just noticing because it was out of character (we are creatures of habit!), if that makes sense?
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