Always getting ung to pay more of the bill

[TinselTottyTart]

So I have been out quite a bit this month. I have a good job but have been made redundant. Friends seem to expect me to pay. They work or have private money. I have just turned down a new invitation because I can't pay more than my share. Any tips on handling this appreciated. Today i was asked to pay 50% more because I had an extra glass of wine.

Before you order, you say, "I'm just going to pay for what I order. You guys can do what you like with the rest."

If they push back then just be honest and tell them that recently you've been made to pay a lot more than your fair share while they pay less, and you just cant afford it. Say you're not being rude or mean, it's because you really cant afford to be paying more than necessary.

Umm, if you are having alcohol and they aren't then yes, you should pay for it, that is your share, or are you leaving out something?

My New Years resolution is that when eating out with SIL in future (although actually my NY resolution is to have as little contact with her as possible) is that I’ll be saying to the waiting-on staff at the point of ordering “can we have ours on a separate tab please”.

Separate bills.

Have I misunderstood?

Are they asking you to pay a lot more than what you've ordered?

Or are they splitting the bill evenly if you've all had the same stuff but then asking you to pay for your extra wine yourself?

If they're just asking you to pay for the extra alcohol you're having then you cant really complain. You cant have more than them and expect the cost to be split amongst them. You need to pay for it.

Just a few tips in asking to spilt the bill please. Today my extra glass of wine was £6, it cost me £15 as the others didn't pay the service. They can't add up or think i will pick it up as the perceived wealthy person.

Just be honest and tell them. It is nothing to be ashamed of.
Then pay for your own .

Service is optional take it off

@TooWicked
I have family like that. I have either a fecking fabulous job or don't work for months. None of my family has a mortgage but plead poverty. Free meal? Ah no, only at our house! My friends have been better but this year an utter nonsense.

Just be straight and say you will pay for what you have and a share of the service charge, what they do with the rest is up to them or ask at the start for separate bills. You seem to be reluctant to do so yet are pissed off at being taken advantage of, so either address it or put up with it.

They don’t sound like very good friends. The only acceptable options are an even split or everyone pays for their own. Anything else is weird assumption unless you’ve explicitly issued an invite saying ‘my treat’. It also seems really weird that apparently you’re all going to places no one can afford. But honest about your financial situation, calculate you share including the service charge or tip (it’s not fair to stuff the staff unless you actually had poor service) and stand firm. Or get new friends?!

Be the person who asks for the bill and then does the maths to work out who owes what 🤷‍♀️

My other option will be to grab the bill when it arrives at the table and announce "so our stuff comes to £72, there's the cash, I'll leave a tip separately" and let everyone else work out what they owe and if/how they want to split it.