To ask how difficult it is to teach a 17yo to drive?

[heather2908]

DD1 is desperate for driving lessons (she’s miserable at her college as it’s quite a distance away and she’s pretty independent so is hating relying on lifts) but trying to find a driving instructor round here is proving difficult as they’re all fully booked for the foreseeable. I’m eager to get her started though so was thinking of getting her some learner driver insurance through Marmalade or similar, taking her somewhere isolated to start off with and talking her through it bit by bit.

My question though is, is this crackers? When I was learning to drive (25 years ago now) I bought my own rust bucket of a Volvo for £500 and my mum took me out after I’d had 2 lessons and I loved having the chance to practice as and when I wanted to. I think she’ll be the same.

And what about manoeuvres? Could I teach her those? I know she’s going to need lessons at some point (I’m a primary school teacher, definitely not a driving instructor!) but is it completely unreasonable to get her started off?

I don't think it would be unreasonable to take her somewhere quiet and start getting her used for the controls of the car and get a feel for driving. May save money in the long run too as less money on lessons (depending on how much learner insurance is).

DH taught DD1 in an auto with dual controls.
There is a lot available these days on youtube to help ensure you teach well.
DD had 4 proper lessons (with instructor in our car) along the way to check progress and to do initial manoeuvre teaching.

My dc was taking lessons (once a week or so) and I would take them out in between but I said fronm the start I would let them practice but not actually try and teach them anything -if that makes sense. We didn't so manoeuvres apart from bay parking. But we did get miles under the belt so to speak.
I literally just sat next to them whilst they drove.

I thought this was what most people did.

As long as you can keep your cool about it, it's a great idea. Just don't be the screecher who freaks out every time something looks like it might go wrong , and make sure you're up to date on the current rules of how tests are done (i.e on a 3 -point turn, can you let the wheels gently touch the kerb or not at all?)

Old quiet car parks are good spots for learning manoeuvres, especially if you can get hold of some cones.

Depends on the 17yo, and how patient you are. However, bear in mind there are nearly double the amount of vehicles on the road compared to 25 years ago, so I would not take the risk of going onto roads with your DD driving until she has a few lessons under her belt (assuming you don't have dual controls in your car).

finddrivinginstructor.dvsa.gov.uk/DSAFindNearestWebApp/findNearest.form?lang=en

Link above might find more instructors you dont know and get on their waiting lists too.

Depends on the pupil and the parent. I tried with ds(17) from scratch earlier this year and it was a nightmare 🤦🏻‍♀️. After 4 proper lessons with an instructor I could take him out ok. Take her somewhere quiet and give it a go, you'll find out quite quickly if it is something you'll be able to do together.

Thank you everyone so far. I think it’s more the starting off and actual driver hours I’m looking to boost. She’s really uncomfortable and anxious around anyone new so I think that by at least doing the basics with her, she’ll be better placed in her proper driving lessons. I’m going to add her to a waiting list for a local driving instructor (there are some national driving schools with availability but their lessons are at least £10 more expensive than local ones) and at least hopefully give her the basics of stopping, starting, moving, manoeuvring, etc!

Go to a big car park somewhere!

When I learnt 20 or so years ago I had regular lessons and then went out practising with my parents in between. My dad was great, calm and just right amount of instruction and oversight, lessening as I got more experienced. My Mum was clearly super nervous and stressed and it impacted the safety of the whole thing - one occasion she thought a car wasn't coming off at the roundabout exit I was joining on (even though it was signalling and just starting to turn), yelled at me to stop, I hit the brakes hard and stalled the car on the roundabout. It was a quiet roundabout so no actual harm but clearly could have been dangerous and that was the last time we went out together until I passed my test! Moral of story is it's as much about the ability of the "supervisor" to keep calm and not freak out as anything else. My husband is going to start taking my Nephew out instead of his parents as there is no way they could keep cool!

I think it very much depends on the relationship between the two of you and how able you are to keep calm beside her on the road.

I hated being taught to drive by my Dad. He could be quite a tensed up person at the best of times and would shout a lot, which tended to destroy my fragile learner driver confidence. I paid for professional driving lessons once a week to help with that.

I decided then that I would never teach any of my children to drive. They would have to have lessons. I am aware that I am rather like my Dad and have told them that I would rather we continued to get on well with each other. My Dad was lovely, and we were normally close, but him teaching me to drive, whilst I am grateful for the time and effort he put in, just wasn't our finest hour (though thankfully I did pass my test first time around).

You and your child might be fine, but I guess you won't know until you try. Go out to a quiet, wide open space, off-road at first, and try to get across basics of how to get the car moving, and stopping. See where that leads to.

My dd learned from her dad and YouTube. We couldn't get a professional because of lockdowns and she passed first time at a test centre with a low pass rate.

I’ve just taught my son how to drive and he passed. It just takes a lot of patience but actually the time spent together was invaluable

OP are there any trading estates nearby? DH took all ours to them on a Sunday to practice before they started lessons.

My husband and I taught both of our kids. Never paid for lessons and they both passed their test the first time.

My dd was nervous so she went out with him when it was very quiet at 6:30am/7am.

Don't most people do this? I started on industrial estates then moved from there.

It's 98% boredom and 2% adrenaline ime 🙈

My dad tried to teach me. After 10 minutes I got out of the car and walked home.
I suppose if you are not really really annoying it might work!

If you've got the patience (and a good sense of humour ), and somewhere quiet to try, give it a go!

I recently did lots of driving with DS, swore I'd be far too nervous and actually it was great! His instructor said it made a massive difference to have quickly DS passed

@EndoplasmicReticulum

My dad tried to teach me. After 10 minutes I got out of the car and walked home. I suppose if you are not really really annoying it might work!

I'd like to add, if you're not fond of dramatically grabbing the dashboard and screeching (thanks, mum), it might work...

Honestly though, if you can keep your cool with a room of primary kids I reckon you'll be fine OP.

Carpark first - spend an hour explaining what everything is and where it is (lights and washers and so on included). So some basic going forward, changing gear, getting a feel for how much you need to turn the wheel to move etc.

Then if she seems happy and comfortable, go round somewhere very quiet - industrial estate perfect, or I took my little sister on a very quiet housing estate near me at 6am when nobody was around - just practising starting and stopping, mirror-signal-manoeuvre to go onto other roads/pull over.

Get the muscle memory for things like gear changes and signalling and mirror checks instilled, so when she's learning the 'scarier' stuff with an instructor (high speed roads, big complicated roundabouts, motorway etc) she won't be flapping trying to remember the basics.

Then she'll be ready and more confident for an instructor.

I'd avoid doing anything higher speed because you don't have a dual control car like an instructor would - even the most sensible of learners can occasionally do something you'll want the ability to brake for.

Dh and I taught Ds1 to drive in covid lockdown, when we were allowed. If you can, it seems sensible to me to save the money. You teach them what a car feels like, clutch control, parking. Then going round roundabouts, hill starts. As soon as covid allowed, he started driving lessons. And practiced twice a week with us. He passed.

If you take them to a deserted place, huge Carpark, for starters, at lot can be taught before they even get on a road.

Foil-Arms-Hog

My mum tried to teach me, but she’d forgotten that all of the things that drivers do automatically aren’t the best way to teach/good practice.

So she didn’t teach me to find the bite point, then release the handbrake, she told me to put one foot down on the accelerator pedal while lifting the clutch foot up and that was it! Reader, I failed to drive that day.

My dad taught me to drive on a local industrial estate, deserted at nights and weekends. I'll be teaching ds to drive when the time comes, we have an industrial estate and business park on our doorstep.
You can hire dual control cars as well OP if it makes you feel safer .
And yes definitely teach manouvers, I saved so much money in lessons doing all that with my dad first.

My step dad taught me to drive when I was 11 and regularly used to get me driving on private land. Was a great help when I started lessons at 17 to actually be able to physically drive, didn’t have to burn cash learning hill starts etc.