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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Giving neighbouring kids little jobs to do for a bit of pocket money?

69 replies

Foreverlodger · 21/12/2021 11:16

We have a fairly normal neighbourly relationship with next door - put bins out for each other when we forget, make small talk, share the occasional garden tools with each other but we’ve never been each other’s houses.

They’ve got 3 kids (12? 14? 16?) who seem pretty sensible (no worries of them using our keys for a house party/stealing). I asked their mum in passing if any of her kids wanted to water our house plants for a £5 a go - they’d be left in the utility so they’d just have to let themselves in, fill up the jug, water them and lock the door behind them but I’d explain where everything was if she wanted to send one over before we went.

She’s sheepishly came over to say that her kids are impossible to do anything outside of their bedrooms and that she’ll happily do it for free. I’ve sorted it out as I didn’t want to be a CF.

DP said it was really weird offering in the first place but I don’t really think it is? As a kid I would have jumped at the chance to earn £15 as a kid and I often did vacuuming out cars/running down the shop/bit of weeding/posting Christmas cards for neighbours for a couple of quid but maybe that’s because half the time I asked if anyone needed a hand?

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 21/12/2021 12:02

It’s definitely not weird to ask . Did she actually ask her children or is it possible that she felt she should just offer in a neighbourly fashion rather than have you pay her kids .

Ski4130 · 21/12/2021 12:04

Not weird at all! Our eldest (now 16) has been cat sitting for our neighbours if they go away for the last 4/5 years. It only involves him feeding the cat and changing her litter once a day for a maximum of 3/4 days at a time, but he used to take it very seriously (he still does, he's just less proud of himself for it now!)

He usually gets £20 and a bag of sweets for his trouble, and he likes the cat so is happy to do it. He's lining his sister (11) to take over from him soon though, as think he's got a 'proper' part time job now and feels it's her turn.

SW1amp · 21/12/2021 12:04

Not weird at all!

We have a thriving child labour force job agency side hustle on our neighbourhood whatsapp group - dog walking, rabbit feeding, plant watering etc jobs for local teens

I treated myself to outsourcing the dog walking to a couple of teen brothers during the October half term to give myself time during the day to get other stuff done, and they have been enterprising enough to give me the dates they are off school for Christmas in case I want to use them again

And I would have jumped at the chance as a teen to earn a bit of money doing something like this

fluoropostit · 21/12/2021 12:04

If I was the mum and felt I had to supervise the youngest i still would have done that to emphasise the ‘do helpful job = get paid’ mentality!

worriedatthemoment · 21/12/2021 12:06

Not weird and my kids would of done it , if not I would of just said from the off don't be silly no need to pay the kids , i will do it.

StrapOnSallyChasedMeDownTheAli · 21/12/2021 12:07

YANBU I had a similar arrangement in my old house, I paid next doors teen to cut my grass once a month during summer and then found extra jobs for them to do for cash for the rest of the year, they bit my hand off at the chance. It's a shame they couldn't do it, maybe the mother has her reasons for saying no. Is there anyone else in the street you could ask?

oftenbaffled · 21/12/2021 12:10

Nice offer
Same about the judgey response when your offer wasn’t greeted the way you wanted it to be
Rendering the ‘niceness’ of the offer…. Not nice

Speaks volumes the mother came back to you “sheepishly”. She seems to know you rather well

Cherrytart23 · 21/12/2021 12:10

My ds13 would of jumped at the chance of earning a few quid always something he wants to buy on his game.

Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin · 21/12/2021 12:13

Not weird at all....l would have loved that offer as a child!

SuperheroBirds · 21/12/2021 12:13

Not weird, we pay our neighbours child to water our plants if we are away in summer (our outside ones). I think we pay £2 a day.

Envoitrevisage · 21/12/2021 12:18

Not weird. My 8 year old is paid £2 to feed my neighbours pony.

Caveat, we have horses too ;)

girlmom21 · 21/12/2021 12:20

I don't think your offer was weird OP. I'd have jumped at it too. I think £5 for watering some plants is very generous.

However, I supposed it depends how it was suggested.

You making out like you're doing them a favour = I can understand them not wanting the task.
You offering a generous sum for doing your a favour = neighbourly gestures.

comfortablyfrumpy · 21/12/2021 12:24

Not weird at all. My kids do similar for neighbours and everyone's happy.

Buytoomuchonebay · 21/12/2021 12:25

As soon as my lot got to about 12 they used to do little jobs in the morning to earn money to go to the cinema in the afternoon
I didn’t have the money to give them
It taught them that nothing in life is free
They all have jobs now

It’s doing them a disservice to just give them money for doing nothing

LittleGwyneth · 21/12/2021 12:26

I was beyond delighted to get £20 to do a neighbour's chickens for a week when they were away. I don't think offering was weird at all, it's nice, especially as part time work low hours is so hard for young people to get now.

WorraLiberty · 21/12/2021 12:27

Your offer wasn't weird at all

But you say 'they seem pretty sensible so there's no worries about them stealing'.

Maybe their mum knows different and they're not as sensible as you think?

2bazookas · 21/12/2021 12:31

when I was a kid I'd have jumped at it. So would my kids ; we encouraged them to take on any little tasks and responsibilities ( ours or neighbours' ,paid or not; feeding pets and livestock. watering plants, cleaning cars etc.) and its sad that mum didn't.

Small steps like that are how kids start to acquire wider social skills for adult life. Being reliable, accountable; the thrill of real earnings (and spending it).

Hemingwayscatz · 21/12/2021 12:33

I don’t think it’s weird, I actually think it’s rather thoughtful of you.

AmyandPhilipfan · 21/12/2021 12:37

As Worra said, there may be reasons their mum doesn’t want them in the house. Or they could just be lazy little blighters! But it wasn’t weird to ask.

My 12 and 13 year olds get plenty of pocket/chore money but they would have jumped at the chance to earn more, and to just be helpful. They offered a few of our neighbours to walk their very placid dogs for free but had no takers which they were a bit disappointed by but they are still young so I understand the neighbours being a bit wary!

zingally · 21/12/2021 12:41

Not weird at all!

I'd have jumped at something like this as a kid! £15 for 10 minutes work? Get in!

I'm not surprised the mother was a bit sheepish. It makes her kids sound like right lazy little toads!

SE13Mummy · 21/12/2021 12:41

Not weird at all. My DCs would have done that happily, especially the 12-yr-old who doesn't have the babysitting income of their big sibling. Since the age of about 10 they've fed a cat in the next street when their owners have gone away, changed the litter, locked up etc. and it's been a great confidence booster as well as a way to earn some pocket money.

Dixiechickonhols · 21/12/2021 12:58

Not weird at all. I assume OP going away for Christmas so just needed them watering a few times.
Like you say if they’d done that there may have been other bits they could do in future.
The fact there’s 3 of them you’d have thought 1 would have wanted to do it.

Original poster
Foreverlodger · 21/12/2021 13:09

@oftenbaffled

I used sheepishly as I think she was embarrassed that her kids didn’t want to do it. I’m not here to because I’m full of judgement of her parenting nor her kids. I’m posting as my DP thought it was really strange to offer teens that we don’t really know a ‘job’.

I was more wondering if it was still a thing for kids/teens doing small jobs for a bit of pocket money. I didn’t know if it was one of those things like kids not knocking on doors asking other kids to ‘play out’ that ended with the previous (my) generation.

I guess the difference was when I was kid that neighbours would ask me directly, either walking home from school or playing out. I thought I’d better check/ask permission with the parents beforehand.

In a strange way I have fond memories of the neighbours trusting me with jobs to do. Most the time I never knew how much I’d get, I’d do them a favour and I’d get whatever change they had in their pocket. My first CV when I was 14 mentioned all the various ‘jobs’ I had.

OP posts:
ufucoffee · 21/12/2021 13:12

I think that is a great idea and a fiver sounds fine. Lucky kids if they have so much money a fiver isn't enticing as a top
up to what they already have.

colourfulpuddles · 21/12/2021 13:16

Yes YABU. That is really weird; children aren’t skivvies to be given jobs to and you’d be given short shrift if you tried to offer any to mine.

You’re not their parent or their employer. You’re a neighbour. Water your own plants.

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