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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm feeling Bah Humbug at this

28 replies

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 21/12/2021 11:11

I'm away for Christmas and one friend comes back from London to spend it with her brother and sees another friend for a drink and catch up. I usually join them but I'm away this year as I was in 2019. On that occasion I took cards and a small token gift for each of them to the brother's house for my friend to collect and planned on doing the same this year, and messaged my friend to tell her. I received this back:
Just leave it outside if he doesn't answer he was annoyed that you asked the neighbours as they weren't happy last time and the other neighbours are in their 80s and she is getting forgetful. He doesn't know any other neighbours.
Sorry but thank you anyway x

I'm rather miffed! I've made the effort to drive round to his house and I'm not psychic. Bah humbug I say!

OP posts:
Original poster
ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 21/12/2021 11:13

I perhaps should add that he was out last time and I knocked on the next door neighbour's door and they took it in. Nobody complained at the time.

OP posts:
Toplowlight · 21/12/2021 11:15

I think she’s just trying to communicate a fact. She’s not blaming you for what happened last time, just making sure it doesn’t happen again.

Sirzy · 21/12/2021 11:18

I can see why the neighbours where unhappy to be honest. Taking in presents for your neighbours sister and her friends isn’t something I would be keen to do and I think it’s odd you thought to even knock there

grapewine · 21/12/2021 11:19

I'd probably just don't do it, honestly. I'd feel annoyed too.

Original poster
ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 21/12/2021 11:20

@Sirzy

I can see why the neighbours where unhappy to be honest. Taking in presents for your neighbours sister and her friends isn’t something I would be keen to do and I think it’s odd you thought to even knock there
I was on my way to the cottage I'd booked for Christmas and couldn't come back at another time. Given that Amazon do it all the time I didn't see a problem.
OP posts:
Original poster
ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 21/12/2021 11:21

Perhaps I'm weird! I'd happily do this for my neighbours.

OP posts:
BrutusMcDogface · 21/12/2021 11:22

Just don’t bother with the presents.

Skiptheheartsandflowers · 21/12/2021 11:22

Really, people find it odd to leave stuff with the neighbours? I get this all the time with parcels!

It is a slightly rude message IMO. Don't you have any contact details for the brother though so that you could ask when he'll be in?

I'd hang on to the things now till you next see them. You've made one trip, I wouldn't see why you'd make another to leave things outside.

Starcaller · 21/12/2021 11:22

Think she worded it badly. She didn't have to say he was annoyed about what happened last time, just ask to leave it outside due to neighbours.

Cancelledplanswhatnow · 21/12/2021 11:23

Yeah she was rude.

NoSquirrels · 21/12/2021 11:24

She’s just saying her brother got strife last time and so leave them on the doorstep. What’s the issue? Why are you annoyed?

CharlotteGoldenblattYork · 21/12/2021 11:24

I think she was actually pretty rude. She could have just said something along the lines of 'if my brothers not there could you just leave them outside please?'

I wouldn't have a problem at all taking in any parcel for any of my neighbours, whether I know them or not.

WorraLiberty · 21/12/2021 11:25

I think it's a long-winded way of saying you should've arranged a time/sent a text first.

flowersforbrains · 21/12/2021 11:28

I wouldn't bother to put myself out. It's pretty rude.

Had similar myself yesterday. At least I know where I stand!

ABCeasyasdohrayme · 21/12/2021 11:29

It doesn't really matter if everyone on this thread is OK with taking in neighbours parcels, his neighbours were pissed off last time and she's trying to prevent that from happening again.

She could have worded it better, but I see why she messaged it to you. Better to get a slightly abrupt message than have a pissed off neighbour shouting at you.

SmellyOldPartridgeinaPearTree · 21/12/2021 11:39

She could have said the neighbours don't like taking things in for him, no need for all the detail about how it was OPs fault Confusedanyway I would probably have a little huff about that and not leave the present! Do they give you anything?

NoSquirrels · 21/12/2021 11:40

You’re dropping off something for her with her brother and then it’s going to his neighbours.

It’s a lot of middlemen.

Just say no worries and do as she advises?

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 21/12/2021 11:42

She worded it pretty rudely, but in itself it’s not rude to communicate to you that the neighbours don’t like being disturbed

Tal45 · 21/12/2021 12:12

She was rude, you weren't to know the neighbours wouldn't like it - might be a covid thing? She could have said 'would you mind leaving it outside as the neighbours are a bit funny' but she's made it sound like it was your fault and she wishes you hadn't bothered.

Maybe the neighbours were awful to brother so he was horrible to sister about it and now she's taking it out on you.

Original poster
ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 21/12/2021 12:21

Last time was 2019 and nobody had heard of covid!

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girlmom21 · 21/12/2021 12:26

I wouldn't bother this year if she's going to be so rude about it.

I'd have just said his neighbours don't like taking parcels. I wouldn't have told you he was annoyed.

The message doesn't even contain a please!

mewkins · 21/12/2021 12:35

It's really rude. Why would anyone feel the need to tell you their brother was pussed off with you?! The pair are ungrateful. Send a card in the post or don't send anything.

CagneyNYPD1 · 21/12/2021 12:38

I would just pop cards through the door this year.

CagneyNYPD1 · 21/12/2021 12:39

Was the gift in 2019 reciprocated?

Original poster
ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 21/12/2021 12:41

@CagneyNYPD1

Was the gift in 2019 reciprocated?
Yes, just token stuff we get each other.
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