To think my toddler should go to sleep?

[JellyOnAPlatewithicecream]

He's been awake since 1am (and woke at 10.30pm too, just as I was drifting off to sleep) he's been awake for 2.5hrs at this point. Just cuddling and staring into space / feeding now and again. Why won't he sleep arrrghhhh. He woke up really late yesterday at 9.30am (usually around 7am) and didn't nap all day (would usually do a nap after lunch for anywhere from 30mins to 2hrs). Maybe that's why? If I try and put him in the cot he's quiet for about 10 mins then starts crying again. I don't do sleeping training / cry it out so won't leave him to do that. He's 19 months. So tired.

Sending solidarity op. My first DC was the same - constant split nights.

Oh gosh - hope he drops off soon - write a do not disturb sign - so you can both oversleep in the morning if you don't live alone !

Commiserations. Mine is 3yo and for once actually went back to sleep quite easily after waking up screaming at 3am. Of course I can't sleep now🤦🏼‍♀️ fuck knows it's not for lack of tiredness...

Can you sleep on the floor next to his cot or take him into your bed?

@itspartytime hopefully can oversleep in the morning, we don't need to be anywhere early. At this point I'm probably looking at 4hrs max if he falls asleep in the next ten mins.

@Notthissticky I have been thinking about this. Never done co sleeping apart from the early days, but would probably be a good idea in this situation. I just get worried that he might wake up and start wandering around the room / fall off the bed, is that silly?

Update, took him to my bed, he didn't like it and cried, tried to get off the bed. Put him in the cot in my room (there is one in here as well as his room, long story) with some toys, left him for about 15 mins and he fell asleep on his own. I've always fed to sleep and put him down asleep, this is a new development that he'll fall asleep on his own! Anyway night night :-)

Having the same issue with my 5 week old. Left dh with her from 10.30pm to 1am so I could have a nap, she sleeps the whole time so he does the same. Take her at 1am and he goes off to spare room for full nights sleep and here I am at 5.38am and she's been awake since except for those odd 5 mins when I think she's really going to go to sleep and then she opens her eyes wide at me again 😫. FML

Of course you are being unreasonable. He's a toddler. He knows better than you.

Am in the same boat for three years. My 3.5 year old still wake up regularly. But my one year old takes the cake. Doesn't sleep in day time and wakes and plays for about 3 hours solid almost every night. And has other small wakings throughout the night. Am beyond exhausted. GP unhelpful. Am sorry OP. Hopefully this is a one off

Up with my 1 year old who has been refusing to sleep before 10pm / 11pm, and then waking up for 2 hours every night - the former is a lovely new development, the latter has been going on for months. I'm so tired! Does anyone have any magic solutions? Please?!

Not easy, but I think a cast iron routine (which means not letting them sleep in, unfortunately) can help. Same times for naps and bedtime. Put him down for naps even if he doesn't go to sleep, say it's quiet time and see how long you can stretch it out.

I think helping him learn how to get to sleep on his own without feeding is also helpful - then if he wakes in the night he won't immediately think he needs you to get back off.

Sounds a bit like he got day and night muddled after a sleep in.

As exhausted as you are I'd try to get him out in what little sun we have at this time of year as much of the day as you can. I remember mine's sleep went to pot at this time of year sometimes; mid summer is the other time when they get over tired from too much light.

My DD has had periods of split nights, though has been sleeping well for a few months now.

What helps when she wakes for long periods in the night is limiting daytime sleep and not allowing her to ‘make up’ the sleep she has lost overnight. I found that she tended to have around the same amount of sleep across a 24 hour/48 hour period and what she needed from me was the structure to make sure the right amount of that was at nighttime. That way, she has the sleep pressure to stay asleep/get back to sleep if she wakes briefly at night. It did mean waking her from naps and sometimes waking her in the mornings which felt brutal, but it was worth it to get unbroken sleep at night! As she’s gotten a bit older she has needed more sleep overall in 24 hours so I have been able to be much more relaxed about timings which is lovely.

Also I found that after checking on her if I just left her in her cot she might cry for a minute, but no longer. Then eventually she just went back to sleep! Me being there trying to settle her (which I did, diligently, every night, for months and months…!) actually didn’t seem to help at all. I think I inadvertently ‘rewarded’ her for waking up and just perpetuated the horrible cycle. At the moment she only ever wakes in the night because she’s unwell or possibly had a nightmare sometimes. We’ve had about six months of good sleep now.

Thanks everyone. Yes I think letting him sleep till 9.30am was a mistake, you live and learn! Lack of sleep is the absolute worst

Your toddler should never sleep. Or else...