Making a gingerbread house is not wholesome family fun...

[TellMeDinosaurFacts]

...because of the amount of bastard swearing that ensues.

A dear friend has sent a Baked In Gingerbread House kit as "family festive fun" for us to make before Christmas. I have a very enthusiastic 5yo and we've tried our absolute best but MY GOD rolling out dough between slippery sheets of baking paper and trying to help her cut round paper templates only to have the dough crumble as we attempt to transfer it to the baking tray has driven me to madness already. We managed a rough assemblage of a pre-baked IKEA job last year, but that only worked because we used wooden bricks for structural integrity on the inside.

I would upload a photo but we've barely made a start and already I am wondering how I'm ever going to forgive my friend for sending it.

Please send hints & tips, photos for me to rage at with jealousy, etc etc

YABU = my 3 year old and I knocked up a scale replica of Blenheim Palace before breakfast this morning. I don't know what you're talking about.

YANBU = they are the devil's work, and the perfect ones you're seeing on Facebook only turn out that way because the maker has sold their soul.

YANBU, has always ended in carnage here and I no longer bother. Much easier family Xmas fun is available.

@FourTeaFallOut that's just the sort of opinion I'm trying to talk myself out of.

The other thing I failed to mention is that she's sent the same kit to a group of us who all have children of similar ages, so we're heading for the inevitable photo sharing...

I do love her though (she is on Mumsnet sometimes so might just see this...)

@Waitwhat23 Hold up - the very next step is the boiled sweets bit. What do I do instead of grinding them up?!

We have just had our most stress-free one yet - the previous two resulted in much swearing and wedging of things with bowls inside, etc. We’ve had a roof collapse previously as well.

We use the Rachel Allen recipe and what’s more, I actually read it properly this year.

Don’t chill the dough for more than half an hour or it’s a bastard to roll. Don’t put it in a warm place for ages/overnight like on top of the dishwasher.

Trim the pieces to size when you get them out of the oven.

Make your own royal icing with icing sugar and egg whites. It glues much better than anything else.

Pretend you haven’t noticed your child is alternating eating sweets with sticking them on the house.

Don’t share outside the household as, if your child is like mine, it will be about 20% saliva.

I made one ONCE. Used every glass, beaker, cup, utensil in the kitchen to prop, wedge, hold, secure bits to other bits, however once it was done there was nothing in the land that would have demolished it.

The decorating was fun until the children decided there could be MORE....went a bit OTT resulting in a thin layer of 100s&1000s over the entire ground floor of the actual house, never mind the gingerbread one. I swear I found some when sweeping to leave when we sold last year.

Can you 'go creative' and make stonehenge or a ruined abbey or something else basically rough and ready instead?

Then use the decorations around the base

Personally, I’ve never bothered with boiled sweets. Just cut windows and door out when warm from the oven, outline with white icing and stick on small sweeties. The picture showed hundreds and thousands but you can’t add those vertically. Not unless you have some sort of spray gun and are happy to repeatedly hoover the floor.

I attempted a ready made pieces one with my son for the first time at the weekend- it failed! So we sat and ate pieces of ginger bread and the decorations together- that was more fun!

This year we made a 'village' from mini Gingerbread House kits from Flying Tiger. Assemble with copious amounts of royal icing. Still fiddly but easier to manage. I have to add that my kids are teenagers now, when they were little I had to do all 'structural' work and they just stuck the sweets on. Never baked one from scratch, usually use ready baked kits from Lidl etc. If it's soft gingerbread you can use toothpicks for added support in the joints.

You are way braver than me OP! We were given a self- assembly effort (IKEA one i think) years ago when DDs were little. Could I get the bits to stick together? Nope! Ended up as a sweet sticky gingerbread flat pack. They still enjoyed it. This year they have done the Lidl version very well, and all by themselves. They are 22 and 20 respectively!! They still enjoy doing it, and a huge part of the fun is when it all goes wrong, and creative adaptations have to be made. We took photos of all their houses, but never put on social media. Comparison is the thief of joy…

Ok there are people with significant creativity on this thread. Kudos to you.
My infant is now invested in the sweets so we will do that.
Assembly will probably be tomorrow when she has a friend over (argh!) but I will update with photos after...

Making from scratch, no way!
I think you need to repay your friend with something... ideas for time consuming messy things? Buy her slime!

My DS still talks about 'Mummy's tantrum' where I threw the gingerbread on the floor and shouted 'fuccckkkk' very loudly, after hours of trying to get the fucking thing to stick together. Never again :)

Bloody well intended presents that are total RODS FOR OUR BACKS!!

Gingerbread (the biscuit variety) isn't tasty. Neither bread nor biscuit - what were the Germans thinking? Misses the point

Your child will always have fond memories of making a gingerbread house with you.

Also, think how proud you'll be when you're quoted as the inspiration for your child's love of baking when they're on GBBO.

[quote TellMeDinosaurFacts]@Waitwhat23 Hold up - the very next step is the boiled sweets bit. What do I do instead of grinding them up?![/quote]
apparently it works better if you just pop them whole into the window spaces because it spreads better. I can't say if it will work but the crushed method didn't work for me.

Turns out the sweets they've given us are indestructible. I have just placed them in the window gaps as they are in the hopes that they will melt correctly!

@IamChipmunk we have the same one (as yet unassembled) and there's no way it'll end up looking as good as that! And that's with DH keeping DD (2yo) under control

We've gradually got better at the Lidl one over the years. Due to dd1 isolating decided that they should have a smaller one each and separate table etc.
Got delayed and did it today - what a mess - collapsing, sliding all over the place and the kids gave up and ate it!
I think they look great in pictures....and taste crap. I'm getting a Cadbury one next year.

I recommend putting the house together on your own without any ‘help’ then just let the kids stick sweets everywhere.

Use various kitchen items to hold the walls in place, such as tin cans and glasses. Dont attempt to stick the roof on until the walls are set.

Ive seen people use caramel to stick them together on TV which dries quickly and like glue.

Good luck!

Raid toys for a dumper truck/digger/large lorry or something that could cause a house to fall down and place lovingly in the ruins. Looks deliberate and adds that artistic element

@TaranTulasForSamhain that is bloody genius. I bet I could use my son's Warhammer orcs to stage some sort of city of destruction.

No, it’s hell on Earth

Please don’t send me or my kids a present that gives me a job to do

“Bloody well intended presents that are total RODS FOR OUR BACKS!!”

^^
I call them “millstone presents” in my head

Goes for things like ice cream makers for the kids, many varieties of craft box (especially when they’re younger) and a lot of other stuff

I’ve only ever bought the ready made ones but even they’re a total nightmare. I’ve bought them from various different shops over the years and they’ve always ended up collapsing. Take well over an hour to assemble as well so just feels pointless. I got a Cadbury chocolate one this year, no idea whether that will be easier .