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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to ignore my family over Christmas

2 replies

Nickwinkle · 20/12/2021 14:12

So I'm not sure how many of you saw my last post about saying 'no' to my family and the grief that my sister and mum have been causing over my dad's illness. I'm trying to not sound bitter on here so please give me a knock to the nuggin' if I am.

For those who haven't, a brief overview - my sister and mum were guilt tripping me and hurling abuse at me for not cancelling my plans to go and look after my dad so they could go ahead with their own plans. Bit more to it than that, but that's kinda the relationship we have going on.
If you're bored and want a read, the original thread is here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4427214-Am-I-the-bad-person-for-telling-my-family-no?msgid=113336457

Update on the situation: I've distanced myself from the family and I've been going to see my dad for a couple of hours, once a week, on a day that suits me.

My mum's kinda picked up on the fact that I've distanced myself and yesterday she asked why I've not been calling her. Other than the fact there's nothing stopping her contacting me and it's always me that reaches out, never her. She also asked if I would work from the hospital on Thursday and what I'd bought my neice and nephew for Christmas (2 & 5yrs old). I don't really have a relationship with them and they're at an age where they wouldn't even notice if I didn't get them anything so it would be purely to entertain my sister. (Also, not sure why she's more bothered about me buying them a present than seeing them?). After everything she's done and said I really don't want to get them anything. I haven't bought anything for anyone this Christmas and I'm inclined to keep it that way.

I'm trying to be sensitive to the situation as emotions are heightened at the moment with my dad so I don't want to push everyone too far to the point of a family argument, but am I being unreasonable by telling everyone they're not getting anything from me and my DH and I are going to be spending Christmas at home (for the first time ever).

OP posts:
overprotectiveornormal · 20/12/2021 14:16

YANBU not even in the slightest.
"Okay" okay to your failed round of IVF and then puts presents for your niece and nephew before even checking how your doing? Pffffft.
I'm angry on your behalf op.

Nickwinkle · 20/12/2021 14:42

@overprotectiveornormal when I tried to talk to her about how heartbreaking it was the only response I got was 'don't take it out on your neice and nephew'

She had a still birth of twins prior to having us three so I would've thought of all people she would understand.

I recently had to buy gifts for my close friend's babyshower and I burst out crying in Tesco just buying some nappies and sudocrem :( It's absolutely heartbreaking and I don't want to be constantly reminded of it all the time just because my sister was one of the lucky ones.

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