To be annoyed at people who suggest using having covid as an excuse if it's not the truth?

[Jennifer2r]

As usual round Christmas time on Mumsnet theres so many threads where people have social obligations that they don't want to go to. Such is the nature of families and Christmas and work events etc.

I'm amazed this year to see the amount of posts in reply that say

"Oh wouldn't it be a shame if you'd had a positive PCR test 😉"

"Can't you tell them you're isolating because you have covid?"

"If I was you I'd say i had a cough and was waiting on results of PCR test"

I'm ready to be told iabu but I'm quite shocked by this, covid is a serious illness and people have died. You wouldnt suggest lying and saying you had cancer or glandular fever or pneumonia? Or maybe you would? It's horrible to have to say no, or to go along with plans you really hate the idea of, but surely this isn't the answer?

I remember being a bit when a friend admitted to saying that her baby was poorly when he wasn't, in order to get out of a night out. Just seems such a unecesaary lie.

Och, being ill is the oldest excuse in the book, people also die of fevers, flu and stomach bugs, but we don’t worry about trotting (haha) those out

And if I had overcommitted myself the way a lot of mumsnetters do, I’d use any bloody excuse to get out of it and save myself from exhaustion

I think you need to lighten up 🎄

Yabu
Lying that “I have Covid” when I don’t won’t cause anything to happen. Nothing will happen because words don’t have magical powers.
I would use D and V though. No one would expect or want someone with “the shits” anywhere near them. I’ve had Covid and am triple jabbed so I’m not scared of Covid but D and V especially the projectile type, I don’t relish

I'm not sure I need to lighten up - I'm not losing sleep over it. I'm just surprised to see it on so many threads where Mumsnet can be quite pearl clutchy about lying in other circumstances.

I didn't say anything would happen, I don't believe that. I just wouldn't lie to family or friends about having (any) potentially serious illness and wouldn't have thought that was a contentious opinion.

@Jennifer2r

I didn't say anything would happen, I don't believe that. I just wouldn't lie to family or friends about having (any) potentially serious illness and wouldn't have thought that was a contentious opinion.

What excuses do you normally make then? When you don't wanna do something........

Or are you one of these 'honesty is the best policy' twateroonies?

What's wrong with saying that you don't feel up to going? I've said I'm too tired before when that's been true?

I'm not wedded to telling the truth in all circumstances, but I've been worried about family who had covid and I don't consider a small white lie.

Altho tbh I wouldn't end up in some of the weird over committed or relatives who are horrible to me plans in the first place, I don't mind of confrontation to avoid that so I get not everyone is like that.

To me if I wanna do something I think what will happen if I do or don’t do X.

Eg i want to wear a onesie to Asda DH says “omg you can’t”. I say why not, what will happen if I do?
Similarly if I lie and say I have Covid when I don’t what will happen?
The answer is-nothing. In fact - I get what I want and no one is harmed. Win win. They’d be more offended at the truth eg “I can’t be arsed”

@siameasy to use the other pp example would you say that your mum had fallen down the stairs or that you had cancer? If not then why?

I agree with you on Asda onesies tho, your dh needs to step back

I was the most ill child ever apparently as my mum used me as an excuse all the time. Now I do the same. Well I say I have childcare issues. Dh does the same.

However we would never use covid when calling off work as that's a lot of lost money.

I agree with you but Mumsnet is seemingly full of people who lie rather than communicate honestly with other people.

How do they explain it if they are seen out in the following days?

PCR came back negative?

I get your point about the cancer thing but I think people are using it more as a while lie as it’s just such a common thing just now that no one is going to think twice about it. I’ve had some awful jobs in my time, one in particular was 12 hour shifts all weekend and I would make up some dreadful things to get out of going there, yes even deaths im afraid 😂 I’m sure on one shift I actually did a dramatic rush out saying I had a family emergency, don’t know if even said what it was that time but the bosses wouldn’t question it. Yes, we shouldn’t do or say these things but to get out of situations you don’t want to be in and there is literally no other way out of it, sometimes needs must 😬

My friend had a boyfriend who did actually lie about having cancer to cover up for the fact he was leading a double life and cheating on her 😬 said he was at hospital appointments. She believed it too! She’s well shot of him now thankfully

What's wrong with saying that you don't feel up to going? I've said I'm too tired before when that's been true?

Some people I know would then try to cajole and persuade you into it by saying you'll enjoy it when you get there or guilt tripping. That has happened a lot to me in the past.

Do you just carry on always accepting invitations from them, and either hating it or cancelling at the last minute due to fake illness then?

Yeah you can be seriously ill with Covid but you can also be asymptomatic or just very mildly affected – so it isn’t really comparable to saying you have cancer, pneumonia or glandular fever.

Bear in mind though people with perfectly normal families who are looking forward to events are unlikely to post.

So there is always going to seem to be an unusually high percentage of people looking for ways out of events without WWIII breaking on here.

“It’s my sisters wedding tomorrow and she’s lovely and I’m really looking forward to it” isn’t thread worthy. Feeling sick because of a wedding you’ve felt no choice but to agree to, despite the fact you know you’re going to get grief all day/there will be a fight/someone you are NC with for good reason, but you can’t just not go or your life will be hell after is thread worthy.

People have used illness all the time.

D&V, migraine, chicken pox etc can all be serious for some. Just like covid.

Words absolutely DO have magical powers!

Do you just carry on always accepting invitations from them, and either hating it or cancelling at the last minute due to fake illness then?

When you accept the invitation you don't know how you will feel at the time of the event.

Being tired, I've found, is not a good enough reason for a lot of people and so they nag and cajole. It's annoying when people won't take no for an answer.
I wouldn't cry off at the last minute just because I'm tired though, or don't feel like it, so yes I do turn up and not fully enjoy things. I have never cancelled anything last minute for anything but a genuine reason.

Although I have claimed a prior engagement to avoid accepting an invitation.

Years ago I had boyfriend who was working in a bar in Tenerife. He came back to London for a week and it was lovely. When I went to see him in Tenerife he really didn't want me to go into the bar and it turned out he'd told them his mum had died and that's why he was back in London! I dumped him.

Not quite the same, but I wouldn't use Covid as an excuse not to meet someone. I don't know why it feels different to saying 'I've got a cold' but it does. Probably because the person you're telling will be worried about you.