Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mask wearing and deaf people

54 replies

sunshinesupermum · 20/12/2021 10:03

As a deaf person myself I applaud Rose's brilliant achievement. However, when she goes shopping or has medical appointments, do people take off their masks so that she can lip read? In my experience only a few shops like Pets At Home and Waterstones do so. I had to take my cat for an emergency appointment at the vet yesterday and was reliant on my partner coming with me to understand how to treat her. I understand the need for masks, obviously, but most deaf and hard-of-hearing people rely a lot on lip-reading. Rant over. AIBU?

OP posts:
takenforgrantednana · 20/12/2021 10:09

maybe write on your mask "need to lip read please remove your mask" as we arent mind readers unfortunately

NameChangeCity123 · 20/12/2021 10:11

@sunshinesupermum

As a deaf person myself I applaud Rose's brilliant achievement. However, when she goes shopping or has medical appointments, do people take off their masks so that she can lip read? In my experience only a few shops like Pets At Home and Waterstones do so. I had to take my cat for an emergency appointment at the vet yesterday and was reliant on my partner coming with me to understand how to treat her. I understand the need for masks, obviously, but most deaf and hard-of-hearing people rely a lot on lip-reading. Rant over. AIBU?
Are people generally helpful when you let them know what you need?
Fritilleries · 20/12/2021 10:11

We also have to remember that we're a tiny minority. If you have a smart phone then download a speech to text live transcribe app. Job done. I'm deaf, before you ask.

santaclothes · 20/12/2021 10:12

I think the key here, rather ironically, is communication. People won't know that you would prefer to lipread if you don't tell them.

LittleRoundRobin · 20/12/2021 10:13

@takenforgrantednana

maybe write on your mask "need to lip read please remove your mask" as we arent mind readers unfortunately
I have to agree with this @sunshinesupermum ^

How on earth are people supposed to know? Confused

earlydoors42 · 20/12/2021 10:14

All the masks at the theatre I went to in London were clear and it was amazing. I only have a partial hearing loss but need to see faces. Apart from this I tell people I am partially deaf and ask them to really shout rather than take their masks off - luckily this is an option for me.

ChangeChingyChange · 20/12/2021 10:15

So do you not tell people/communicate to people that you need to lip read?? Or are you saying that you do but people are refusing to remove their masks to do so?

CallmeIT · 20/12/2021 10:17

I often say “I can tell you are speaking but I lip read so I can’t understand you I’m sorry”.
It’s about 50/50 as you whether people then lower their mask or not. At work I give visitors masks with transparent windows. I never ask people to lower or remove their masks directly. That’s their call.

Mumoblue · 20/12/2021 10:18

You can get masks, badges or lanyards on Etsy with things like “Hard of hearing- please lower mask” or “Hard of hearing- please speak loudly and slowly” or “I can’t lip read through your mask” on them. I know because I thought about picking one up, so I looked into it.

I’m hard of hearing, but I mostly muddle through Okay. The pandemic has made me realise how much I relied on lip reading though.

Most of the time I just nod politely and hope it wasn’t a question. Obviously people who are more hearing impaired than me have a different experience.

MissMinutes24 · 20/12/2021 10:19

I really sympathise with anyone in a similar position.

People with invisible disabilities know there are so many things we put up with daily that "normal" people just have absolutely no comprehension of, of how it makes our lives incrementally more difficult.

I don't have an answer but just wanted to say I understand.

ChimChimeny · 20/12/2021 10:20

I don't have a diagnosed hearing difficulty but I have realised how much I rely on lip reading so it must be very hard for people with a real difficulty.

ginghamstarfish · 20/12/2021 10:23

It must be difficult, but yes, you can't just expect people to know that you're deaf unless you tell them in some way. I'm sure the majority of folks would be helpful if you did so.

Nearlytheretrees · 20/12/2021 10:29

I was so pleased when I accompanied ds to an appointment this week. He asked me to go even though he's 18 as he's deaf on one side and lip reads and some signs when needed. As soon as we explained why I was there too the lady removed her mask went and got a visor, she then checked several times ds had heard and understood. This is the first person in pandemic to be considerate of his needs in this way

Butchyrestingface · 20/12/2021 10:33

@Fritilleries

We also have to remember that we're a tiny minority. If you have a smart phone then download a speech to text live transcribe app. Job done. I'm deaf, before you ask.
1 in 6 people in the UK have a hearing loss (used to be 1 in 7). I would say that's quite a sizeable minority, not a tiny one.

But yes to making it clear that an alternative communication method is required. I know some people who are less comfortable with tech like speech to text apps and carry a good, old-fashioned small whiteboard and pen.

Whatever works.

LittleRoundRobin · 20/12/2021 10:34

@Nearlytheretrees

I was so pleased when I accompanied ds to an appointment this week. He asked me to go even though he's 18 as he's deaf on one side and lip reads and some signs when needed. As soon as we explained why I was there too the lady removed her mask went and got a visor, she then checked several times ds had heard and understood. This is the first person in pandemic to be considerate of his needs in this way
Maybe the vast majority of people don't know your son is partially deaf. Confused People aren't mind readers.
LittleRoundRobin · 20/12/2021 10:36

Exactly @Butchyrestingface not everyone has a smartphone, to 'download a speech to text live transcribe app.'

Original poster
sunshinesupermum · 20/12/2021 10:36

So do you not tell people/communicate to people that you need to lip read?? Or are you saying that you do but people are refusing to remove their masks to do so?

Yes I always tell people and ask them to remove their masks but they won't.

Thank you MIssMinutes24 It does help that some people are understanding! Being deaf can be most isolating.

Fritillaries we may be a tiny majority, I don't know the exact numbers, but we are disabled and should be recognised as such. Not everyone has a smartphone or can fiddle around with what you suggest. But thanks for the suggestion, I will try that when I have to go to the vet again this week.

Nearlytheretrees That is all I'm asking for, that people who work in fields where deaf people really need to lip-read, have a perspex mask to wear instead.

OP posts:
squashyhat · 20/12/2021 10:39

Masks are supposedly there to protect the wearer from spreading the virus. So if the deaf person is happy to ask them to remove their mask, I don't see why they wouldn't do so. It's the deaf person's risk.

Original poster
sunshinesupermum · 20/12/2021 10:39

takenforgrantednana and others who say they aren't mind readers - I always tell people I am deaf as do most other hard/heard of hearing people I know. We are deaf, not stupid LOL

OP posts:
Original poster
sunshinesupermum · 20/12/2021 10:40

squashyhat Exactly! The fact that the most times I have this problem is when dealing with medical people who would know this better than anyone.

OP posts:
NearlyThereTrees · 20/12/2021 10:42

@LittleRoundRobin he tells people! This is this first time someone has tried to accommodate him rather than talk to me

Butchyrestingface · 20/12/2021 10:43

Fritillaries we may be a tiny majority, I don't know the exact numbers,

You're not a tiny minority at all. Official stats for hearing loss in the UK is 1 in 5 or 6 (rising over a certain age). People absolutely SHOULD expect to meet deaf or hard of hearing people in the course of their job since it's such a common occurrence.

And imo, all customer facing staff should be issued with clear panelled masks, so they're not faced with removing them in order to enable lip reading.

At the beginning of the pandemic, there was an issue with the clear panel masks fogging up but I think (!) that has been addressed by manufacturers now.

Original poster
sunshinesupermum · 20/12/2021 10:46

Momoblue I have one of these badges and point to it as well as say I need to lip read. It is more a case of when I need to be able to understand at medical appointments that make it so frustrating because they never agree to remove the mask. If my partner isn't with me (and it isn't always practical for him to be there) I cannot understand what is happening. I have no idea how deaf people in hospital with no support manage.

OP posts:
Whingasaurus · 20/12/2021 10:48

My dh is partially deaf and I interpret a lot for him he reads my lips very well and I can't tell by his body language when he needs help. I got told off for removing my mask to talk to him and the man was very apogetic when I explained. I did wear a sunflower lanyard and no mask for a while but I also got told off for that so I feel your pain. He stopped going out in the first lockdown it was a drop drop drop of difficulty. Those saying explain have very little understanding of the social difficulties.

Whingasaurus · 20/12/2021 10:48

Drip