Aibu? Local kids keep kicking ball when I work outside (at me)

[LorikeetSunrise]

Using my sisters laptop to get on here! She said ask parents about what to do about other parents and their kids 😂 But I’m mid 20s, a mural artist, I practice on the outside walls of our house in chalk paint but the local little boys, dragged up but think they’re the best thing ever.

Have taken to kicking their football at me/my legs/my box of supplies/the wall as I draw on it, on purpose, because you hear them laugh and egg each other on to film on someone’s phone.
I’ve tried telling them to stop as I’m working and they’ll go running off to tell a parent that “a stranger yelled at me, I wasn’t doing anything!” When I asked them politely to stop…the parents have then come out several times to yell at me!
Tell me That I shouldn’t be drawing on the walls of my own house, or that they don’t like a strange man (I’m trans, ftm with a bit of a gothic style, autistic but medium functional) near where kids play. Am I being unreasonable to either want to block my area off with bits of wood or have a sign up when working telling them/people to not bother me, or get the police involved as I’m not actually doing anything illegal to my own property?

There are all kinds of creative ways you can use chalk on the ground, too--for example, you could set up a maze for them. Or start a pattern for them to finish. Or some kind of game. I am sure there are ideas online. Like Squidgame. Crazy stuff.

As a creative person, you could turn this all around. You contain multitudes. You could be the best thing that ever happened to them.

I hope I don't sound like a cunt but I think the kids have decided you're a "victim" and your actions to date have just re-emphasised their view. The reason I say this is because you mention that there is a another man who they never bother. Ask yourself, why is this? It's probably that he gives off a certain "vibe" that makes the kids think they shouldn't fuck with him. I suspect, from your description of yourself (I’m trans, ftm with a bit of a gothic style, autistic but medium functional) and from what they are doing, neither they or their scummy parents get the same "don't fuck with me" vibe from you.

You need to work on being more intimidating to the kids. Not creepy intimidating but "don't fuck with me" intimidating. With the parents a better tactic would be befriending them/coming down to their level. If they decide you're "normal like them" they won't allow their kids to mess with you.

In the short term whilst you implement these strategies (it won't be overnight) ensure that you have a covert camera that captures the area where they hassle you, better still a covert bodycam with audio, so that if they make up an allegation you can disprove it.

OP does not need to become more intimidating, they are spiteful jealous kids who have no respect for others and are bored so pick on someone they have deliberately targetted. Wearing and film children covertly never goes down well the best thing is police advice and community support for someone doing a great thing.

You need to keep reporting to the police. We had a couple of local kids constantly kicking a ball against our fence, it made a heck of noise and they were doing it because they were targeting ds who was then ages about 12/13. They were visited and warned about anti social behaviour.

Sorry this is happening to you OP. My children are that sort of age and I would be so upset if they were treating someone like that. These kids sound horrible and I agree this is harassment, esp the sexual comment from one of the parents. I would maybe speak to PCSO or non-emergency police but I don't know if anything will help if the parents are as bad as the kids.

You sound like a great neighbour Op, who is trying to do something positive for their neighbourhood.

Definitely get the police involved.

Nothing brings people together like a common enemy. You see this in schools all the time.

A group will decide one person is the ‘other’ (the ‘enemy’ in this case) usually based on how that person, looks, speaks or acts, which is different to what they understand as the accepted norm. This is you, OP.

The group will then reinforce their own sense of belonging by harassing you. It draws a line between them and the other (you), making them feel like a distinguished member of a group and feeling that much coveted sense of belonging and purpose.

I’ve been on both sides of it in the past. When I’ve been on the group side, we didn’t physically hurt anyone but we did laugh at people. I didn’t recognise it as bullying at the time. I felt included and powerful. It’s very intoxicating. If you’ve ever made a joke with a friend at someone else’s expense and both had a laugh, that’s an example of it. Even if you’re laughing at how some people are so bigoted and stupid, you’re still bonding in an ‘us v them’ way, if you see what I mean. It’s natural and not fundamentally a bad thing but some people, partially children who haven’t been taught empathy, take it to its negative extreme.

There’s mob mentality at play in your case too. Even the more empathetic kids will get caught up in the moment and behave in a way they wouldn’t do on their own.

You’re dealing with several natural psychological and sociological phenomena here, OP. It’s a really difficult thing to fight against/protect yourself from.

My honest advice is for you to remove yourself from the situation. I don’t like saying that, because it means not doing something you enjoy doing and are entitled to do (street art), but there’s little you can do to stop horrible kids with horrible parents from abusing you. You are a very clear ‘other’ target in the way you look and act, and if you live in a certain type of area, which it sounds like you do, you just aren’t safe.

I wonder if these mob kids would be so brave on their own, of course not and there maybe a few who actually enjoy what you do but are scared to be seen as not being part of the pitiful pack. Can you issue an open invitation for your supporters and community leaders, the local press to come and watch your work and ask questions. Hopefully for your own health and wellbeing this will stop, wouldnt it be great if a local hall or centre offered their space for street art.