To ask what Christmas traditions you HAVEN’T carried on from childhood?

[LlamaParma]

I don’t cook from scratch. I buy everything M&S ready made in foil tins and whack it in the oven on the day.

Simply because I have HORRIBLE memories of Christmas as a child and my mum absolutely stressing to high heaven in the kitchen from about 7am until 3pm, banging pots and at some point having a tantrum because “NOBODY IS HELPING”. Me and my siblings and stepdad would be and when offered to help would get told “No it’s FINE I’m FINE”. All because we’d usually have guests and she was adamant everyone would have a lovely ‘everything homemade’ meal every year. And TBF it tasted amazing and whilst we take the piss out of her now about it (when we all buggered off to Uni she had a Christmas Day Amnesty and declared it’s pizza and chips if we spend it at hers - good for her!) at the time I always wish she’d have chilled out and spent time with us, watched films, help us set up toys etc. Nobody needed homemade horseradish sauce and chicken liver pâté. The atmosphere would be awful, it was a running joke that the kitchen was a no-go area on Christmas Day, but as a result I don’t stress at all about food with my own family. If it’s crap then tough luck, there’s always Pudding to fall back on

What Christmas traditions or things have you not passed on to your kids from your childhood?

However I suspect it was partly because DB and I were hideously early morning risers, particularly on Christmas Day, and as long as we opened our presents and played quietly they got a lie in for once! My kids don't wake up for anyone, the then 8yo got up last year at 10am

Blimey, writing thank you letters on the day, that's very strict and joy sucking.

I bought thank you cards for my DD to make it easier that were sent around New Year. She did them in batches to break it up Although I do think presents should be acknowledged. I was never sure if my DBs kids ever received their presents because they didn't do thank you cards.

I no longer go to church on Christmas Eve. We only ever went once a year, and even my Dad no longer goes (Mom is Jewish, so never went). Waiting until noon to open presents.

My in-laws aren't willing to part with any of their traditions, which I find difficult. I would like to have more say in how DS experiences Christmas morning, but it's not a hill I'm willing to die on. They do some lovely things that I quite like as well though!

I've given up "traditional" Christmas foods. Although, in my defense, we (USA) have Thanksgiving a scant month before Christmas, and most of the same foods are considered "traditional." Twice in 30-34 days feels excessive to me. I make something easy and fun for Christmas, and have the day free of the kitchen for the most part.

I also no longer have a crèche set up in my house. The main reason for this is that I am a practising pagan who still enjoys the Christmas holiday in a secular way. I celebrate the Solstice (Yule) as a religious observance, and Christmas as a fun winter break from it all.

Having kids crying on the back steps because their grandfather has called them fat and looking like Aunty Joan (his sister he hated who was about 200kg before she died) during Xmas lunch.
It happened every bloody year to my sisters and I have no idea wtf mum didn’t tell him to shut his mouth.
I was very very thin kid (and the favourite grandchild) so wasn’t in the fat list but my sisters and cousins.

He said it to me once when I was a teen and I replied that he should use his oxygen with an open flame (He had lung cancer but used his oxygen so he could keep smoking)
He laughed/darth Vader wheezed.

@justasking111 in Greece people do that for New Year. Was one of your parents Greek?

[quote aliceca]@justasking111 in Greece people do that for New Year. Was one of your parents Greek?[/quote]
No Irish, my mother must have known a Greek family.

@HippeePrincess

No Turkey. No satsuma in a pillowcase. No stocking/pillowcase upstairs full of tat. No selection boxes.

Why aren't your kids allowed selection boxes?

I’m really enjoying reading about other peoples Christmas traditions. :) It’s making me feel more Christmassy - finally! It’s been hard to get into the spirit of it this year.

@MooseBreath tell us what your in-laws do,what you like, and what is different from what you would do.

Such an interesting thread!

*It’s not cruel to insist they wait - you do that too by insisting they have to sleep first on Christmas Eve and then they can open them when they wake up. The delay just means waiting a little longer.

Going to church on Christmas Day is really really important to us as a family of Christians. Christmas Day for us is about recognising the hugeness of what God has done for us, what Jesus did by living life as a fully human, fully divine man, and dying to bridge the gap between us and God the father. We’d say we give gifts to each other to celebrate that sacrificial love, and because we can’t give Jesus presents on his birthday (and yes, I do know he was very unlikely to have been born on Dec 25th and that we nicked the idea for celebrating in midwinter from the many other religions who already celebrated them. Don’t care! That’s why we celebrate even if it’s not why anyone else is). Kind of seems important to pause for a bit and say thank you for the biggest gift of all before tearing into the piles under the tree.*

@SilenceOfThePrams, you are obviously clear in your beliefs but I’d be amazed if your children felt the same way you describe. They’ve probably been told to think this by you but really they’d love to be opening their presents. I think the hoardes of adults on this thread talking about how it felt as a child gives a clue.

I am finding the thread quite moving OP. I have committed to a Xmas that I feel very stressed by this year and never will again. Feel very liberated by listening to all of you who have found what works for you and made yourselves and your family happy.

And much love to those with awful memories.

Church

Homemade dinner (M&S too OP)

Five million guests and their partners for dinner

No booze - Xmas really is vile when the adults are all pissed when you’re a kid and just screams rough and selfish

Getting dressed up- Xmas day in pjs is life changing

This is my first year not having Christmas with my parents! We'll see how it goes, I suppose!

There are a couple of food ones that I know we aren't doing though. We're not having a roast. I'm making something we really like/DP requested that I can cook almost to completion on Christmas Eve and then finish on the hob in 15 min. I don't like half the things that go in Christmas Dinner and don't cook roasts so this is a way better use of my time. Pudding similarly is something that will happily sit -nay, require an overnight sojourn in the fridge. No cheese board either, I love cheese but finishing it all up is a chore!

Not much different.
We were allowed to open our presents as soon as we woke up and by ourselves, DP had to wait till after lunch. Now we do it with us all in the room together once we are all up.
My family had the thing where you didn't go out the house on Xmas day. I used to make everyone go for a walk on Xmas day, but as they got older gave that up because of the moaning - so now I go for a walk and they can join me if they want. Sometimes I go a walk by myself.
We don't really have a set time for Xmas lunch now although we did when kids were young. Now it just depends when everyone is up and what we want to do. Both my family and in-laws had a set time for lunch that never changed.

Having more than one meat. My mum is doing pork AND gammon as well as Turkey.

I’ve previously carried this on, but Mr Lemon has banned it this year… and I feel so relieved!

This is a really interesting thread albeit sad in places.

We haven’t changed much at all from when I was a child. Everything really is pretty much the same. The only thing we don’t have now is large the family gatherings of 15 or so people as my family is much smaller now.

I cannot imagine having to wait to open presents. Even having to wait while my parents nipped to the toilet when we did wake up was too much! I remember it so well.

@ndo4000

Unlike my childhood, we DO go to church. I love to belt out carols!!!

We definitely do NOT get dressed up (my DM still wears high heels all day on Xmas day, even while she's making lunch).

We open presents from under the tree after lunch as I remember my mum missing most of the present opening because she was sorting out lunch (in her heels).

My children are 100% welcome to bring their stockings into bed with us and we all open them together. When I was young I would just wake up and open my stocking on my own.

I love our Christmas!

Your Christmas now sounds exactly like my childhood, so many happy memories!

My mother's Puritanical view of any sort of Bought In Festive Treat being the work of the devil. The most she would admit is a mince pie (homemade, shortcrust, not too sweet). Christmas cake could be sliced with a wire she could cut it so thin.
I bought a big Christmas tin of Lindor the other day abd told the checkout lady how excited I was about them. The first box of Christmas choccs I've ever bought. I felt so daring abd profligate. She must have thought I'd escaped from somewhere...

I feel really lucky that Christmas was always absolutely lovely when I was a child - to those of you that didn't have that.

The only real thing which wasn't a 'tradition' as such, is that I don't force the kids to get dressed, we don't go for a walk after dinner, and I don't spend a fortune on wrapping paper, labels and ribbons. I don't want an Insta Christmas, I just want everyone to have a lovely time.

I do still cook from scratch because I enjoy it, but I buy disposable trays for all the food to minimise the washing up.

Getting so shiftfaced Xmas eve youd either piss in the tree, fall over it and break it or the presents or pass out in the middle of the kitchen or living room floor and piss yourself we’d open presents around that like it was normal.

My childhood was abnormal. I have not traditions I’ve kept and have created brand new ones. I’ve even banned tinsel because the smell of it esp when it’s getting too hot and curling over a fireplace is pretty triggering.

@DuesToTheDirt

As kids we had all our presents in a big sack at the end of the bed. We put stockings in our kids rooms but not the big presents - we did those together after breakfast. a) I wanted the pleasure of seeing the kids open their presents and b) I still remember the year when I got a pogo stick, opened it at 4am, and pogoed around the landing with my brother - not going to happen in my house

Pogoed at 4am lol brilliant !!!

The violence and abuse. I see I'm not the only one. for all the other survivors of terrible childhoods who are pioneering loving, happy Christmasses with their own children.

Being trapped indoors from 30 minutes after school ended until the first day of term. Literally not leaving the house once in that time. We both go outside every single day for daylight, fresh air and time away from TV/screens.

Not having the TV on every second of the day I was awake. Especially when there would often be a radio going about 15 foot away from at the same time. Silent Night was a wish for me, not a Carol.

Not cleaning the house once in the time stuck inside. Or any other time, really. It is immaculate here for Christmas and pretty bloody clean and tidy the rest of the year.

Being told I couldn't have breakfast because there would be lunch soon and I wouldn't eat it if I had some toast (in about six and a half hours) and then being told I couldn't have anything in the evening because there had been a big lunch. We eat as much or as little as we like, whenever we like.

Having a frozen, defrosted and then cooked to death Turkey because Bernard Matthews said it was what we had to have at Christmas and Easter. Because it took so long to defrost, she cooked it for an extra couple of hours after the juices ran clear to make sure it was safe - it was drier and tighter than a gnat's chuff.

I didn't have any Christmas traditions as a child. I started them all as an adult and for my child. I am pleased today he has continued with many of them in adulthood.

We used to open our stockings alone in our rooms. Our DC bring them to our bed. Though this year we're going to have them at the end of our bed not theirs as last year DS1 woke at 2am, felt his stocking was full and came into us every 30-45 minutes until 6am when we relented. DH was back in bed by 7am after gift opening and I had a nap later. DS1 was 9!

Turkey. I've been vegetarian since I was 13 and DH isn't a fan. It was decided at dinner tonight that it's pork and lamb this year.

Getting dressed up on Christmas Day. DH and the DC haven't been dressed on Christmas Day in six years and I go as far as a hoody and leggings. Give me comfort and a stretchy waistband.