My birthday was a couple of weeks ago. My mum arranged for me and some other family members to get together at her house. She has some physical and mental health issues and when I got there, she told me she wasn't feeling good and was warning me straight away as she might not be very nice. I brought my kids with me, ages 5 and 7. My mum smokes but usually airs the house out for a couple of days before we visit and will smoke outside in that time. My 5 y/o DS has been hospitalised twice in the last couple of months with chest infections and breathing trouble. He's still a little bit chesty but we're managing it. Anyway, my mum knows that I won't be in a smoky house with the kids but this day she started smoking in the kitchen with the window open just a crack. My auntie joined her too. I begged her not to and she just fobbed me off and said there was a curtain across the door so the smoke wouldn't go in the living room where the kids are. However, if they needed the toilet they would have to go through the kitchen. I got very upset and said I'd have to leave but my sister then convinced them to open the back door fully and smoke near to it. It just spoiled the day for me and I don't feel like I can go back there if she's going to be smoking inside. I know it's her house and she can do what she wants but should she not be sensitive to her grandchild's needs especially as she invited us. We've been invited again just after xmas to exchange gifts etc but I don't think I can go if it will be like that again. She won't ever visit me as we're not local and she doesn't drive so if I want to see her it has to be at her place. What would you do?