Another car one…

CurlyCavill1 · 2021-12-19T03:59:07+00:00

Just curious what people think… When your children are getting into or out of your car - at a normal pace, not particularly slowly - and the person parked next to you wants to get into or out of their car, would you make your child wait or would you make the other person wait? This happened to us today. A woman who had literally just arrived said very irritably “Can I get to my door PLEASE?” as my 3 year old son was just getting out of the car. She moved to shut his door which momentarily worried me as toddlers/preschoolers are so unpredictable I thought she might catch his arm in it if he suddenly moved, so I said “Oh he’s just about to get out” which set her off huffing and puffing. Afterwards I thought, well, what makes her think she is more important than any other person, or that she should take priority over another person? He has as much right to be there as she does. The fact that he’s a child is irrelevant. But I know some people think the opposite. It’s quite mundane and trivial but I am still interested in other people’s opinions.

PissedOffNeighbour22 · 19/12/2021 04:45

In the case you've described I'd have given her a dressing down. She sounds an absolute cow and moving to close his door as he's getting out is dangerous.
If he'd been taking his time and she'd been there a while, fair enough make him wait, but she'd only just arrived.

Generally I'd expect to wait but that's to make it easier on us as would give more room to get out and it would be less dangerous, but in your case it would be quicker to get your kid out rather than make him wait until she got in, probably messed about for a few mins and then got her car out of the way.

MiloAndEddie · 19/12/2021 07:05

Getting out I’d let them wait but getting in I’d likely let them go first because they will be quicker than me messing about with car seat clips.

She sounds impatient

Aprilx · 19/12/2021 07:09

If they were there before me I would wait, if I were there first and had proceeded to get in or out, I would expect them to wait. When I say “they” and “them” I mean the other person, no matter how old they are.

lliitttlepiinkhouse · 19/12/2021 07:12

She was rude and I'd make her wait as long as it took, cow.

Nobody is in that much of a rush they can't wait a matter of seconds.

GoodnightGrandma · 19/12/2021 07:13

If you were getting out the car before she arrived, she should wait.
If your child was dicking around, i’d make the child wait.
She should have waited and not touched your car.

Burnt0utMum · 19/12/2021 07:16

Agree with others. He'd already started getting out so she needs to wait. This happens so often because parking spaces are tiny but surely everyone just waits patiently until they can get to their door. It's only a few seconds.

buzzandwoodyallday · 19/12/2021 07:17

I'm more concerned that your 3 year old was getting himself out of the car tbh. Who unstrapped him from his car seat and why wasn't that person standing next to the car whilst he got out in a car park? I wouldn't leave my 3 year old to get out of the car by himself on my driveway, let alone in a car park with moving vehicles around and poor visibility of little children.

Fomofo · 19/12/2021 08:10

I would make her wait, but my dh would always do the opposite

Squeezita · 19/12/2021 08:13

I would have made her wait too.

I would have said ‘We were here before you, let us get out and then you crack on’.

StoneofDestiny · 19/12/2021 08:15

She was just a rude person and I'd have advised her of that and carried on.

Fatgalslim · 19/12/2021 08:26

@buzzandwoodyallday

I'm more concerned that your 3 year old was getting himself out of the car tbh. Who unstrapped him from his car seat and why wasn't that person standing next to the car whilst he got out in a car park? I wouldn't leave my 3 year old to get out of the car by himself on my driveway, let alone in a car park with moving vehicles around and poor visibility of little children.

Bit OTT, OP was obviously there

maddening · 19/12/2021 08:28

Whoever was entering or exiting their vehicle first takes priority. You were already exiting, she waits, she wbu.

If you had loads of people exiting and the person was obviously infirm in some way then the nice the to do would be to let them get in their vehicle first, but otherwise they can wait.

pinkstripeycat · 19/12/2021 08:34

I probably would have (overdramatically) screamed “Be careful! Mind his arm!”
I get all arsey with folk being mean around children. Children aren’t second class citizens, adults don’t always get to go first. It’s like people ignoring a child at the front of the ice cream queue and pushing past them

Senmumm2021 · 19/12/2021 08:37

She WBU. Children aren't below adults and he was already getting out.

RaPumPumPumPum · 19/12/2021 08:37

Are you absolutely sure your son wasn’t faffing on and taking ages?

I’d make my kids wait because I don’t think they’re the centre of the universe

RaPumPumPumPum · 19/12/2021 08:38

Also adults generally have tougher days than kids, maybe she’d had a shit day and just wanted to go home, or maybe she was visiting a loved one in hospital, or maybe she was ill. It will absolutely benefit your 3yo to learn to wait

RaPumPumPumPum · 19/12/2021 08:40

@buzzandwoodyallday

I'm more concerned that your 3 year old was getting himself out of the car tbh. Who unstrapped him from his car seat and why wasn't that person standing next to the car whilst he got out in a car park? I wouldn't leave my 3 year old to get out of the car by himself on my driveway, let alone in a car park with moving vehicles around and poor visibility of little children.

my kids could unstrap themselves from their car seats aged 3. Not like OP took off to the shops and left him to it. Are you one of those people who makes things up finds fault in everything?

Theunamedcat · 19/12/2021 08:44

People who touch my car get shouted at im afraid my son is 8 with special needs including coordination issues my 12 year old has coordination issues snd both take time getting out of cars in fact I get out of my seat go around and hold the door to prevent other cars being damaged (they tend to fling the door open) so she would get a short shrift from me huffing and puffing especially as my 12 year old would choose NOT to get out the car at that point because she is breathing near him (major FRUSTRATION with that one)

Oh ffs I've got to take them shopping today im going to have to deal with this shit

CasperGutman · 19/12/2021 08:46

There's no priority based on age here. It's first come, first served.

ImInStealthMode · 19/12/2021 09:01

Depends on the exact scenario but one adult getting into / out of a car is likely a lot quicker than a child or multiple children are so I'd likely let her go first (in the same way I'd let the person with a single pint of milk go ahead of my loaded trolley in the supermarket queue).

If they were rude though, probably not.

Senmumm2021 · 19/12/2021 09:07

@RaPumPumPumPum all it is teaching her 3 year old is that it's fine to be a dick if you've had a bad day (it is not). Child was already getting out, the adult was pathetic in their response and could do with learning about patience and kindness.

LadyCatStark · 19/12/2021 09:16

Whoever’s first carries on and the other person has to wait.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 19/12/2021 09:58

@buzzandwoodyallday

I'm more concerned that your 3 year old was getting himself out of the car tbh. Who unstrapped him from his car seat and why wasn't that person standing next to the car whilst he got out in a car park? I wouldn't leave my 3 year old to get out of the car by himself on my driveway, let alone in a car park with moving vehicles around and poor visibility of little children.

Sorry but this made me laugh.

A 3 year old can unbuckle themselves. And I'd imagine she was standing by the boot as the child climbed out. It's what we've been doing since DS could unbuckle himself.

RandomLondoner · 19/12/2021 10:13

I don't understand the scenario. There is no way that a three-year-old can open a car door, without banging it into the car next door, get out, and close the door, at anything like the speed an adult would do it.

Senmumm2021 · 19/12/2021 10:24

@randomlondoner so if it were a disabled adult or an elderly adult who are both slower, are they to be expected to wait to allow someone faster and more able bodied to go ahead?

It's not like we are talking ages really is it regardless Or is it just because it's a child..