Back in September I mentioned to my mum that my DD (7) has pointed out she wanted to go to the pantomime and showed me the specific show she wanted to go to so I was booking tickets – DD has never been to the theatre before as it was cancelled last year and I didn’t have the money before 2020 as I wasn’t working.
Mum said she wanted to go too but couldn’t afford her own ticket so I offered to get it her as her Christmas present but if I did she’d only get a small present off me to open on Christmas day as the ticket cost is above my usual budget to spend on her (ticket was £31 I usually only spend max £25 on her at Christmas). She said this was fine.
For context I’m a single parent and have been since 2017, I work but get no CM so everything falls to me, I’m in a better position financially as I’ve worked hard to get a promotion. My mum doesn’t work, she claims she’s retired (she’s 55) but doesn’t have a private pension and won’t claim anything else because “she won’t be forced to work now she’s old” (this is not me judging here, it’s adding context). Because of that she never gets me a Christmas present, I’ve always been fine with it.
We went to the Panto last weekend and had a lovely time. I paid for everything, drove there, paid for parking, bought drinks and a programme each at the theatre. All in the trip cost me about £120, but I didn’t mind as it was a treat and only once a year – but it’s not something I’d choose as a present for her every year it was just something she said she wanted to do.
Today I’ve seen my mum. She’s said she’s really looking forward to opening all her presents from me, I reminded her that as I’d paid for us to go to the panto she would have one small present from under £10 in value and I had got DD to make each of her grandparents a Christmas Bauble so she’d get that too.
She looked me straight in the eye and said she didn’t remember that conversation and had assumed the panto was an extra and was DDs Christmas present (it was one of them) not hers. She said she’s disappointed that at a time when she’s struggling the most and I’m not I won’t treat her. I told her roughly how much the theatre trip cost me and she just said while still looking at me “Well you can afford it”.
She’s since text me that she’s disappointed in me, and considered not seeing me on Christmas Day but has decided for DDs sake she’ll see me. She says she knows I spend upwards of £200 on my DD (I have this year I admit, I’ve bought her something she’s been asking for for years but I’ve never been able to afford as it’s £70+ and the panto and a few smaller gifts too and then her main Santa gift but usually I limit DDs spends to £70-100 including Santa, not that it matters)
I only have DD until lunchtime on CD anyway so WIBU to take up her offer not to see us? It’s really upset me that I worked extra shifts to give my DD a nice experience and my mums tarnished it.