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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Worried about friend

6 replies

Vari757 · 18/12/2021 21:28

My friend is going through a hard time and I'm not sure how to help her. We work together and her behaviour is starting to raise eyebrows with senior management and I'm worried that it will get into disciplinary measures if she doesn't calm down.
Without being too outing, she has recently separated from her partner, who I believe was low level emotionally abusive for the majority of their relationship.
Her behaviour since the break up is impacting others, especially colleagues since we work together. She basically finds major offence in the tiniest, off hand comments that others make and starts crying, ranting and raving and making accusations of people being "against her". I've tried speaking to her but she just says that we are different people so I don't understand how she, in her words, "processes things"
Before this got out of hand, we were both on track for development within our roles but her development has been paused as the senior team have recognised that perhaps this isn't the best time to take on more responsibilities. My role is progressing as normal and I expect to be promoted at my next review, however this has upset my friend and she now thinks that I am one of "them" that is against "her".
Am I going to lose this friendship if this carries on and how can I help??

OP posts:
FortunesFave · 18/12/2021 21:42

I say this kindly but your friend was your colleague before she was your friend right?

Don't focus on her too much.

It's not your problem...unless she's directly impacting your work. Ignore her outbursts, distance yourself a bit. Support her outside of the office if that's the norm for you....

I'd suggest she takes some time off to be honest.

Christmascakecakecheese · 18/12/2021 21:48

Does your company have an employee assistance programme? Or any other wellbeing initiatives you could suggest she looks at?

Vari757 · 18/12/2021 21:55

@FortunesFave

I say this kindly but your friend was your colleague before she was your friend right?

Don't focus on her too much.

It's not your problem...unless she's directly impacting your work. Ignore her outbursts, distance yourself a bit. Support her outside of the office if that's the norm for you....

I'd suggest she takes some time off to be honest.

Yes you are 100% right, we met through this job and became friends after.

She is such a lovely, kind person when she is calm and in a good mood and it just makes me so sad to see her get into states. It's like watching someone have a breakdown right in front of you!

OP posts:
Vari757 · 18/12/2021 21:58

We do have a wellbeing programme that I believe she is already engaged with and she takes time without working hours to attend private sessions with a mentor/coach. I work for a smallish business and I really so think they have put a lot into team wellbeing with the resources available. It just doesn't seem to be working unfortunately.

OP posts:
ChrimboGateauxCatto · 18/12/2021 22:09

If you are serious about your job you need to get distance from her else she will take you both down with her...

Royalbloo · 18/12/2021 22:12

Leave her to plough her own path.

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