Playdate

[sharkyandme]

I invited a friend over for a playdate on an afternoon. Preschool age.

I said after lunch and didn't give a time as I thought she'd use common sense and not bring them over after a day in nursery. I told her that this would be too late and I've not heard back from her.

I know she is very lax with schedules and relies heavily on her mum for childcare so maybe isn't aware of how toddlers get tired?

My kids are in bed at 7pm sharp but we have two young dc and not much family help.

I've not said anything unreasonable have I?

@CasaBonita

I can't make head nor tail of your post......

I've ead it 4 times and still none the wiser. No wonder the women was confused. Why make everything so mysterious and complicated what's wrong with saying why dont you come over at 1pm?

Nothing you’re saying makes any sense!

You didn’t specify a time for the play date and you’ve not specified what time they wanted to come over, or whether they even said they were coming over

So really can’t say whether what you said is unreasonable or not as I haven’t got a clue what was said and the context!!!

Were your messages as vague and confusing as your OP?

No wonder she didn't turn up/turned up at the wrong time.

So you invited her over on a particular day. She said ok I'll be over at 3/4/5 as soon as I've finished work and picked up Dd and you said no sorry. I can see why she's probably a bit offended and I doubt living with a toddler she has noises what a tired toddler is like. Are you saying her mum comes over each night and does everything while she goes out. Odd thing for you to say. Not all toddlers need to be in bed at 7 sharp for a start

We really do need to know what time she wanted to come.

I would always offer a time, seems daft not to tbh.

I don’t really understand the post, but I think suggesting someone doesn’t understand that toddlers get tired because they have support from their mother for childcare is really patronising.

I think the friend said she would come after nursery... idk what actual time that is. Perhaps op knows?
Op told friend that was too late. Did she suggest an alternative?

@sharkyandme 🤨

I am overly invested in wanting to know the actual times here.

What time did she want to come?

I don't think YABU if she wanted to come at 5, but if she wanted to come at 3 then you are.

Your thread makes zero sense

Honestly? Just tell her a bloody time.

@BunnyBlanket

I am overly invested in wanting to know the actual times here.

Me too.

Just tell us what time OP???!!!!!!

I think I get what's happened but not entirely sure. You invited her over thinking she could come in the early afternoon, not realising the day you had suggested was one of her childminder days. She replies and says, OK, we'll be over after I collect from childminder. This time is actually too late for you. I suggest learning what days she is free to come at an earlier time and stick to those days.

YABU - when you invite someone you should specify the fecking time they are invited for.

I am very confused by your posts and do not really understand what you have written. Maybe the friend was equally confused by your messages also, and hence not really understanding what you meant.

Oh fgs give people a time. You can’t get pissy if you’re throwing out vague invitations.

Your post is clear as mud.

Your OP is as clear as mud.

I wouldn't respond neither if my friend expect me to take half a day off work to take dc out of nursery for a playdate.

I am another that can make no sense of your post. If this is how you normally communicate I expect your friend didn’t understand either and that is why you haven’t heard from her. Assuming you haven’t that is, I cannot tell.

If she relies heavily on her mum for childcare then surely it's her mum you should have arranged the playmate with? Also did you arrange this mysterious playdate for a week day or a weekend or should common sense have told her the day and the time

I've held playdates that started at 3.30/4pm in the afternoon - I think that's fine. Usually I'll feed everyone at around 5.30 and kick out just after 6. Plenty of time to get home and in bed for 7 especially if it's not a bath night.

If she wanted to come at 5pm, YANBU.

I think best say a time. Its too vague otherwise.