To think that Christmas gifts should be kept until Christmas?

[BettyFred]

Bit 🤔about what my relative has done. We don't live close by and have had to post gifts. Relative gave a specific request for a gift. We ordered and, as she does with our children's gifts, had it delivered to her to save double postage.
We always wrap gifts for the children and save until Christmas. She has put hers immediately into use. I appreciate it would be a bit daft for her to wrap it, but she'll have known it was from us and I had thought she'd at least pretend she kept it for Christmas.
It was already an annoyance-double the usual budget, but we said yes because she really wanted it.
AIBU to think she's been a bit unreasonable?

Actually you are being unreasonable. If she asks for something outside budget you say no. Or send vouchers to put towards the item.

As for using it now....the only person disappointed on Xmas day not to have a gift to open is her. Not you. At least she likes the gift.

(My son got a download computer game for Xmas and he reminded us we need to download now and nor wait to Xmas day as it takes hours when all rhe kids are downloading stuff.....I've just told him to start playing it. He's on school holidays why not get another weeks entertainment from it.)

YABU. It’s not a big deal. I usually ask the sender what they’d like me to do though, however none of our family make a big fuss out of it, different people do different things and that’s ok.

I can’t understand why you’re so bothered? At first I thought you meant she let her children start playing with their presents from now until I realised you meant her herself. She’s an adult, why do you even care what she’s done with a present she knew she was getting anyway and you took round unwrapped? Just let it sit there for a week? What would be the point?

I think the key is it wasn't wrapped. Wrapped gifts should be kept aside. Unwrapped arrivals are slightly different.

You both choose to open the delivery box - by mistake or design. You wrap the kids gifts (presumably they haven't seen them). As you say it would be silly for her to wrap her own, but also equally silly to save it to on display until Christmas - it's already been received.

I partly think it depends on age. Also what it was. I remember delivering a present to a friend's toddler son years ago a week or so before his birthday and her calling that evening to apologise for the fact he'd seen it, opened it but had a lovely afternoon playing with it. She was heavily pregnant, it was a wet, cold weekend and her husband was away. It sounded as though he'd had much more pleasure from it than he would have done had it simply been one of dozens of presents he had opened on his birthday. When i had my own DC, I really realise this and spaced out presents over the holiday so that they really enjoyed each one. I then moved so far as to send the young children I give presents to a "beginning of the holidays" present rather than a Christmas present.

I open presents from work early and if we see family before Christmas we open our presents together so we can enjoy seeing what others got/if they liked their present.

Honestly don't see the issue, one year o asked for straighteners as mine were broken and my mum gave them to me to use when they arrived. At least she likes the gift.

I think it’s fine.
Ds has had several parcels trickle through the post recently from abroad.
I’m tempted give him one today as it’s miserable weather, has been all week, and I have stuff to do

Entirely up to the recipient when they open and use a gift. Once you’ve sent it, it becomes theirs to do with as they wish. It’s one less thing for her to open on Christmas Day, but that’s her decision.

I honestly couldn't bring myself to expend the energy being annoyed about something as petty as this.

I assume we're talking about an adult. I couldn't get worked up about this. I'd be pleased she liked it and was getting use/pleasure from it straight away.

God, do people really get worked up about things like this?

I'm self employed (dog walker) and finished work yesterday for the holidays. I opened all my client gifts when I got home

Mainly because I know most of them get me food and/or alcohol and I didn't want to end up buying the same stuff on the food shop as I'd just been given as gifts

Adults are perfectly free to open their gifts when they choose, surely?

It's fine OP. It was clearly something your relative really wanted and will get lots of use from.That's nice.

And if she needed it and couldn't afford it herself, that's even better.

I couldn't be upset about that

@EishetChayil summed up my thoughts perfectly

Seriously, who cares!?

Fair enough! This is what AIBU is for. I do feel a bit meh about it, but will now get over it!! Feels fairly unanimous 🙂😉

@BettyFred

Fair enough! This is what AIBU is for. I do feel a bit meh about it, but will now get over it!! Feels fairly unanimous 🙂😉

Happy Christmas @BettyFred

Cue 40 further pages screeching at OP for her outrageous unreasonableness.🙄😁

I suggest in the future to offer her a budget / price limit or e.g. an Amazon voucher towards whatever she wants, to spare resentment / embarrassment.

@BettyFred

Fair enough! This is what AIBU is for. I do feel a bit meh about it, but will now get over it!! Feels fairly unanimous 🙂😉

I know you've already accepted this is an OK thing to do in most people's eyes and the recipient in your case is an adult.

Just as an aside though.. if our children(teens now) are given presents early from family friends, we've always allowed them to open them early. This way they remember who gave them and they don't get 'lost' in a sea of gifts on Christmas morning. They are much more appreciated at the time of opening a few days earlier, than on the day when they have numerous other gifts.

I think you’re being unreasonable. This is a decision people make for themselves, not one you make for other people. It doesn’t actually affect you at all that she didn’t keep it for Christmas.

It was cheeky of her to ask for something double the budget though.

This is what I dint get with adults at all, it seems pointless for her to specify exactly what she wants (and if it was too expensive they is a words called no!) and you maybe the same, just buy what you want each.

YABU. You sent an unwrapped gift for an adult, it is “out” anyway why would she not use it. Perhaps make a bit more effort and start wrapping gifts if it bothers you so much.

Once you give a gift, it is no longer yours. The recipient can do as they like. So YABU. I honestly would not care at all.

@Whistleforthechoir I obviously am not going to get bent out of shape about it, because I have a tongue in my head and could have said no, but I suggested a book (to top up another gift we'd sent...wrapped 😉). She came in with a counter offer of £20 worth. Ah well. I do love her, which is why I said yes!

@Whistleforthechoir wrong person to @ sorry 🤦‍♀️🙄

10 years ago my DM got me a new hoover for Christmas. It arrived early December. It was a relief to have a decent one with a baby and tree needles!

DDs got Christmas presents today as we are off on holiday and they were for the holiday.