Spending the 1st day of my holiday on Nit Patrol..

[SantaOnTheBeach]

I'm currently on holiday (in the UK) with my dh, our three children, my DP's, my DB and his two children.

We've arrived at the accommodation today and I sat next to my niece on the sofa. We were chatting and I saw something crawling on her shoulder. Closer inspection revealed that both she and her brother are infested with headlice. (gross not envy)

A comment by my DN revealed that their mother (my DB and the kids mother are no longer together) has known about the nits for weeks but hasn't treated either child . I'm so cross with her. She's never been a decent parent to either of them. DB unpacked there cases and half of the clothes she's sent are either dirty, too small or completely inappropriate for the weather (shorts and summer dresses for example) it's not through lack of money - she just doesn't care and can't be bothered to parent them

DB has said that he didn't know about the nits. He hasn't seen the kids for several weeks due to living a fair distance away for work. We'd planned a day out tomorrow at a local outdoor attraction (for all of us) but I've had to say to DH that he should take my parents and our kids out instead, so I can help DB de-louse his kids (he's admitted that he's never done it before and wouldn't know where to start). I've suggested that he also buy them some new clothes when we go to the supermarket for the nit solution.

Aibu to feel really sorry for my niece and nephew? They hardly ever see there dad and they're mum seems as much use as a chocolate fireguard currently...

if I called social services in the new year then would they be able to talk to the kids Mum and maybe give her a kick up the backside?

Wow, are you for real? Your waste of space brother doesn’t see his kids for weeks and can’t even pack their suitcase for a holiday and you’re threatening to call social services on their MUM?

Tell your brother to step up, get a job near his kids and actually PARENT them.

YABU

@Squeezita did you miss the bit where the OP said that her DB and the mum were no longer together? And that he lives a fair distance away for work? You were a bit harsh don't you think? The dad needs to learn how to look for, and deal with, nits, and hopefully will now realise that he also needs to check what is in their suitcases when he takes them away. But it does sound as if the Mum either isn't coping very well or is neglectful, or maybe deliberately trying to make it look as if the dad is neglectful. If she needs help to cope then it would be the right thing to contact social services, they aren't always the bad guys.

@DilemmaDelilah did you miss my whole post? Why would I say he should get a job near his kids if I missed that he lives a fair distance away?

Maybe the mum would cope a whole lot better if the kids’ dad was around and lifted a finger to help.

Why are you eager to devoid the dad of responsibility?

@Squeezita you misunderstand me. The dad does need to bear responsibility, but just changing jobs to be closer to his children is not always an option - we don't have all the information about the dad's circumstances. He might well be a complete waste of space and need to step up. However, whether that is the case or not, a mother that does not treat her children for nits, and who does not ensure that they have the clothes they need when they are going away on holiday, is neglectful whether that is on purpose or because she isn't coping. If there are circumstances that mean she is not able to do either of these things, perhaps because she can't afford nit lotion or to buy sufficient clothes (although that doesn't explain why she would pack dirty clothes) then she needs help.

You db needs to watch a you tube video on how to use Hedrin. You can then accompany your family on the day out.

He should buy clothes for his kids. He should prioritise seeing them.

Their mum looks after them 24/7. Their dad barely bothers seeing his kids and needs his sister to delice them. He has taken them away with family (is he parenting them this weekend or getting family to help parent?).

If she is such an awful parent what steps has he made to work closer to them and spend more time parenting them? Washing their clothes etc.

Let him get on with it. He will manage. Enjoy spending time with your children.

I agree with PP, if she is such a useless parent why isn’t he bending over backwards to make sure he is there for the children instead of barely seeing them. He needs to be proactive with his own children, he’s a parent too.

None of us were born knowing how to dell use hair. I suggest he googles it and gets on with it tomorrow.

Yep agree with PP. Your brother is the one you should be pointing the finger at in this case. I mean if the excuse "he wouldn't know where to start" re the lice holds good for him, why not for their mum? Maybe she too is completely incapable of using her initiative to find out and doesn't have a pandering sister who will absolve her of all responsibility and do it for her.

Seriously neither of them come out well here but you seem to want to lay all the blame on their "neglectful" mother - the one who has actually seen them in the last month - rather than your neglectful brother who hasn't even seen them for yonks, has taken them away on holiday without packing or even checking the bags that were packed for him, and since picking them up has failed to notice something it took you about 0.005 seconds to notice. Not exactly father of the year is he?

However YANBU about one thing - I definitely do feel sorry for the kids