To ask how you get over your body hang ups?

[shittytittieshelpplease]

Been separated from exdh for almost a year and on the dating scene. Have been speaking to someone for a while and after a few weeks dating had sex.

But I'm so hung up on my shit tits it's ruining it for me. I never had massive boobs pre kids but they were perky and decent and now they look ridiculous and deflated and I'm worried they look saggy and he's going to judge them/be turned off.

I've been looking into implants but I'm retraining whilst working and the idea of spending ££ on surgery I'm not sure about anyway puts me off.

How do you get past your hang ups?

Honestly? Surgery.

Have had more sex since I had it done than in the few years before. Well worth it!

God I know how you feel. Currently seeing a personal trainer. Feel like an actual blancmange in his presence. Not completely sure what to do about that, other than stop eating.

Solidarity 👊 we have other attributes that trump all the other vacuous nonsense 🙌🙌🙌

If you want to get a boob job then do it for yourself - not for some guy you have never met. You don't have to get massive implants. Go and talk to a surgeon, preferably one recommended by your own doctor, and explore your options.
I say go for it !

I'm 60 and have never given a shit about my fat, saggy, wrinkly bits especially post baby.
I've had loads of lovers all ages. Men don't care if you are supremely self confident and sexy. Nobody wants to sleep with a woman who is embarrased by her body and hiding under the covers.
A naturist club would sort your body issues out. You see all kinds of shapes and sizes striding about confidently there.

@ArblemarzipanTFruitcake

I stopped caring when I was 40.

There will always be people who look better than you, and those who look worse.

Just about to say this very thing!

I have been much slimmer than I am now are was far more self conscious! I hated the attention (certain type of) men gave me.

Now I am older but so much more confident.
I can’t explain it but I don’t give a shit and it’s liberating!

No. Don't endorse implants.
I used to buy into this shit.

Properly think about this.
Your body is good enough.
The only reason you don't think so is because of comparison to surgically altered nonsense.
Where does this end?

You'll forever be on catch up.

I always try and focus on the things I like about my body rather than the things I hate. I know I've got a bit of a tummy and a thickened waist, broad shoulders, a double chin and flabby upper arms. But I always try and think about the parts I like...Great smile, lovely colour eyes, perky bum, slim long legs etc. No one is perfect, so i just focus on the positives and try and enhance them.

I used to have lovely boobs, post pregnancy and weight loss, they have sagged a lot. Going on the pill has helped a bit.
Im quite happy with the outside of my body, but have a prolapse which i hate but its not bad enough to fix on the NHS

I think an element of CBT helps. So anytime you think something negative you have some sentences ready to counteract it.

Eg you think 'god my boobs are small and saggy' you force yourself to reply to yourself 'all boobs are great and men would love these regardless of their size or shape' etc.

Practice it religiously.

If you look at a physical/medical way to fix it then you will naturally keep moving on to other things to fix. The key is to change your way of thinking so you accept yourself. I know it sounds a bit woo but I really think it's possible to develop confidence in yourself through thought pattern changes rather than surgery.

I hated my body until I left my husband & got a much younger man who loved me the way I was.

You either learn to accept them or you do something about it. This past year I’ve lost 8kg and toned up through diet an exercise. I’ve never felt better about myself. There is one final thing I’d like to change, but it involves a clinical intervention and I’m not sure I can really ge bothered- I’m so happy with everything else. I have a friend who has just worked on self acceptance, and she is much happier too.

I got my saggy boobs fixed and now I’m obsessing over my forehead and receding menopausal hairline. It never ends. Decent men love you whatever…

I'm sort of there, sort of not. In weaker moments I tear apart my pool ball in sock tits, sticky out stretch marked stomach and on and on and on. I do as a PP said and try and counteract with a positive so I've got a sticky out stretch marked stomach because my body is strong and grew my beautiful (huge) child.

I also try and remind myself regularly that this is just a flesh suit that let's me do the things I want to do. It has no meaning to me, my character and aspirations. I don't want to be a model and that is the only thing where it would be relevant. If someone is offended by the way my body looks then that is not really any of my business. If someone wouldn't want to have sex with me because of the way my body looked well I don't think I would want to have sex with them either.

I don't think men really care what womens bodies look like apart from the awful men who really don't matter.

@Journeynotdestination

I got my saggy boobs fixed and now I’m obsessing over my forehead and receding menopausal hairline. It never ends. Decent men love you whatever…

You are quite right. Decent men love you whatever, but a little 'maintenance' is no bad thing is it? I am happy with my man. We have been together a long time and he loves me for what I am - and he is bloody lucky to have me :) However I would like to get my 11's done and maybe.. just maybe a few other minor facial enhancements.. hasten to add, for my own personal pleasure.

I lost lots of weight and realised I was no more confident in my body- the weight was just my excuse. I had to choose to love myself- my body with all its wonderful flaws. Your boobs are your version of my wobbly hips- you might have a boob job and find that you will just replace that insecurity with another one.

Looking on the bright side if you'd have been blessed with natural big breasts they'd be floppy now.
Any of my friends who had smaller breasts as younger women have the best breasts now, clothes sit better, if you're worried about how they fell, implants feel odd too.
Watch some of Gok's old show, it really is confidence, use fake tan for a boost.

*feel not fell.

I know this is odd, but I am losing all my body hair while menopausing. I don´t really like my hairless body and absolutely detest my hairless pussy

I haven’t.

Back to back c-sections and weight gain have left me with what I describe as a cows milk sack for a belly. It’s huge ugly and floppy. I hate it. I’m petite elsewhere so it’s even more noticeable.

A tummy tuck would sort it but utterly out of reach

It’s taken many years to accept my flat tits. I do yoga daily in a studio and am surrounded by mirrors. I was incredibly embarrassed initially to wear yoga gear but I actually think I have a lovely figure. Seeing myself daily in a mirror has changed my perception. I think being surrounded by different body shapes has helped too. Sure, there are a few women whose bodies are conventionally perfect, but the vast of majority of people in my studio are all different sizes and shapes.