My friend's 'stepkids'
We're both immigrants so have a much closer friendship as we don't have family here in the country we live in. Friend would normally spends Christmas with us. She met a guy a few years ago and he came too in 2019 as his kids were with their mother. Last year everyone stayed home.
This year friend decided to go to her home country as she now has a baby, although she split from the dad last year. She now can't go as covid is kicking off again so is coming to ours like normal. Except this morning I got a text from her letting me know that her ex has his kids this Christmas so it'll be the 5 of them at mine. I messaged her back saying WTF? she's always welcome but he wasn't invited. She's just rung me and is really annoyed/upset as of course her ex wants to spend Christmas with his children. Great, let him crack on with it. But not at my house and at my expense.
I'll be honest, pre covid I would probably have agreed to it as we always had lots of extras for Christmas (30-40 people) but things are different now. Covid hasn't gone away and my adult DD is immunocompromised so unnecessary guests are a risk I'm not prepared to take. But also last Christmas with just me DH, DD and her partner and DS was lovely and we all agreed to drop all the add-ons and keep it to just us in future (friend being one of us).
AIBU? I feel really guilty now as excluding people at Christmas feels really bad, even when I have absolutely no intention of changing my mind.