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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Mums and their sons.

8 replies

AD80 · 17/12/2021 07:38

All have or had covid in the last week or two. Dp felt rough for one day that's it, done his isolation and back to work now. I've felt crap cos I had a non covid virus and now covid back to back, thankfully not severely poorly but feeling crappy. Dc have have been okay. Ds was quite poorly for one day then went milder again. Dd hasn't had many symptoms apart from tiredness.

Dp was first to get it. Like I said he felt rough for one day and that's it, lost his smell & taste for 2 days only. He was doing stuff like cutting the grass and gardening etc. He was fine. He didn't isolate in one room cos I was poorly and he was pretty much fine, we have two with additional needs and I couldn't manage it all on my own.

I don't expect mil to ask after me but she's constantly messaging me or Dp asking how he is even though he was fine and now back to work. He's told her he's fine and me and the kids have been worse off with it. But she's still telling him he must rest, take it easy even though he's back to work. Telling me I must do EVERYTHING so Dp can recover even though I've been ill for nearly 2 weeks now. Not once has she asked how the kids, her grandkids are. Just her son. It's odd! He's been the least affected. I get asking after him and being concerned but she's made it all about him.

I think the worst part has been when she dropped off some paracetamol on the door step and spoke from a distance. She told Dp to go back to bed even though he was fine and didn't want to go back to bed. He was barely poorly. Whilst I'm visibly poorly and still doing all the housework etc. Dp has been entertaining the kids and cooking, gardening etc. I've been trying to sort out ordering stuff for Christmas wnd housework.

She's been quite old fashioned in her views for a while now. How the woman should do everything whilst the man just sits around and be waited on. Thankfully Dp does not share that view.

Aibu to feel it's odd? It's her son, she has the right to be worried or concerned but she's just being a little ott when she's been told he is fine multiple times.

She'd be happy to see me ill slaving & sweating away as long as Dp was resting 😅

It was the same when we had our jabs. We had them at similar time. She told me that Dp must rest to prevent side effects, he didn't have any side effects though. But I was wiped out but she still told me to get on with it and let Dp rest 😅😅

OP posts:
Enko · 17/12/2021 07:41

Not a mum and son thing it's your MIL . Mine would have been as concerned about me and the kids as she was about her son.

Rollmopsrule · 17/12/2021 07:47

Mums and their sons? Sounds like a MIL problem to me. Are stereotyping all Mums that have a son and hoping to start a bit of a bashing thread?

AD80 · 17/12/2021 07:47

@Rollmopsrule

Mums and their sons? Sounds like a MIL problem to me. Are stereotyping all Mums that have a son and hoping to start a bit of a bashing thread?
Oh god no, that's not what I meant. I just she meant mums being overly protective of their sons and hating on their daughter in laws. Sorry 💕
OP posts:
AD80 · 17/12/2021 07:48

I also have a son!

OP posts:
Amberflames · 17/12/2021 07:51

@Enko

Not a mum and son thing it's your MIL . Mine would have been as concerned about me and the kids as she was about her son.
This!
mdh2020 · 17/12/2021 07:53

My DS has had Covid and I’ve been supporting my DiL while encouraging DS to pull himself together and get back to work!

CurzonDax · 17/12/2021 09:13

Your MiL sounds erm ... pleasant ...

I wonder if it's partly because she is genuinely concerned about you all, but sees her son as her child, and so she can tell him what to do (in this instance rest), whereas she doesn't feel she can with you/her grandchildren, because she's not their parent.

O maybe, I'm just trying to give your MiL too much benefit of the doubt. Just smile and nod, and be happy that your DP doesn't share her views!

My MiL is the opposite - she is a um of 5 boys and so loved it when they all started getting older and the GFs started appearing on the scene ("It's nice to finally have some girl time", as she once said to me!). Last time both DH and I were sick at the same time, she called him to check up on me, an forgot to even ask him how he was doing! Grin She did tell him a few days later that it's because I have an autoimmune disease, and so "We need to take extra care of CurzonDax"

CurzonDax · 17/12/2021 09:14

*a mum of 5 boys, not an um ...

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