To not know if I am burned out and if I can tell my work?

[Burnedorbored123]

I have a detailed, time critical role in a busy workplace/industry. I’ve long been a conscientious person into details and having all the info on hand when needed. I was passionate

The past 18 months have been hard going - I took on more responsibility and had a difficult time in the summer where I was very stressed. I got very behind, couldn’t grasp the detail and worked mad hours to catch up, no sleep, anxiety etc.

That passed, and now I feel numb. I don’t seem to care that I don’t know the details - I feel out of the loop. Previously that would have worried me (people thinking I am not good enough, feeling I am letting everyone down) but now…I don’t know. I sit and stare into space, zone out of conversations and meetings, don’t grasp the actions.

Is this being burnt out? I thought that was being super stressed but I feel like I’ve gone past that. I am outwardly normal but feel trapped. This used to stop me from sleeping but now I just drink and watch tv to escape the thought of it all.

I heard my boss talking about a colleague who has been signed off with stress - ‘seemed fine to me’etc. I don’t want to be seen as making a big deal out of nothing/faking it. I don’t think there would be much sympathy.

Do I say something or just hope things will be better after Christmas?

It does sound like burn-out, OP. Could you talk to your GP for advice?

It sounds like burn out to me. It will get worse if you don’t address it.
Go see your GP, and get some time off to address it. Don’t worry about what your colleagues think.

Yes that sounds like burnout. It’s not something you can ignore and hope it goes away - you need support. I agree GP first port of call. Hope you can get the help you need.

Sorry to hear how you've been feeling, sounds like you went through a really stressful period of overwhelm and now are feeling really disconnected. Does your work have an employee assistance program?
They can be a really helpful start point if so. I think some solution focused counselling like CBT could be really helpful to help you figure out what's fuelling this, how to change the cycle and break out of the place you're stuck in and find some good restorative coping strategies that bring you some much deserved joy instead of numbing the pain. Xxx

I'm in a similar situation and am just looking forward to the christmas break and new start for the new year. Do you have a christmas break coming up?

On reflection its been such a busy year and due to extra projects I was involved in this year there was no natural quiet periods like we have other years. Its just been all go.

Yes absolutely burnout. I just stopped. Couldn't think/read/concentrate. Nothing. Empty.

Deal with it now otherwise it will get worse

It sounds very much like burnout.

If you have an Employee Assistance Program, please consider calling them. They will be able to advise on next steps and certainly if you’re worried that work won’t take it seriously, engaging with the EAP will help. If you need to be signed off only your GP can do that but once that happens, I’d recommend asking to see occupational health as this can again strengthen your position.

Not quite the same but I had 2 months off for stress at this time last year, a combo of four years of very intense deal-led (over)work and grief over infertility. Work were brilliant about it and I’ve gone from strength to strength since.

As others have said, please don’t ignore it or hope it will go away. GP, or. Staff welfare , it can take a while to get an appointment though. Can you just take some time off.

Thank you - I have a new head of department and they have suggested moving me to a different area as part of a wider restructure. I have said yes, thinking a change could be good. I try my best to be bouncy and happy at with them. My long hours have been noted and I said I need a much better work life balance going forward.

If I was to say how I am really feeling I think they might think I am jumping on the bandwagon as someone has just been signed off.

Does anyone have any advice on what to say?

I have made a big mess of something which I will try to resolve today but on Monday it will be found out in a meeting with another HOD. I’m thinking of calling a meeting today and confessing….

I have some holiday over Christmas but it’s a seasonal business so I will be working too (plus trying to catch up/fix things if I can). There’s no time to properly switch off unfortunately.

Ive wrecked my credibility with clients etc - previously I would feel so bad about that, now I’m just meh

I’m struggling to think I won’t come across as just being apathetic/terrible at my role

I’d get some time with your manager today, tell them what’s wrong, and the work thing ( it’s usually not as bad as you think). Say you are trying to get time with a GP and need some time off.

Also, what is the worst thing that can happen? You sound competent, valued, hard working. If you took some time out they will want you back.

Hi @Burnedorbored123 I suffered with burnout last year, I’ve also had a key colleague off for 6 months last year. The worst thing you can do is not address it. The colleague seemed fine, it wasn’t until they collapsed that we realised they were ill. It has taken over a year for them to recover and they aren’t fully back 100%. We just had no idea there was a problem - mainly because they were WFH and saying they were ok. They are now fully office based back to 9-5 and a lot happier/healthier but there are small triggers that they struggle with and I think this will be with them for the rest of their life.
My advice is to have a meeting, own up to your mistake and explain what help you need to fix it. Take your holiday and DO NOT work during the Xmas break - try to leave things on a tidy edge and explain to your manager where you are up to as a handover before you go.
I’ve found the more accommodating you are and the more you do the more they give you, you need to try to get your hours back to nearer your contracted hours and say to your manager that you can’t take on extra projects/work. If they still push you say “I have project a and project b, which do you want me to prioritise?”
You can do your best, if that isn’t good enough and they don’t appreciate your work and aren’t supportive of your mental health you’re in the wrong company.
I’ve found I’m a lot more productive not doing as many hours and projects and I actually get more done because I’m a lot less stressed.
The move to the new team should help you set some boundaries but be clear if you can’t manage the work load.

Please don't worry about bandwagon jumping - sick leave having a domino effect on the rest of the team is quite a well known thing.

It's a bit like a chain of huskies pulling a sled - the first one goes down, so there's suddenly fewer trying pull through same weight. Then everyone gets exhausted far more quickly and go down much quicker.

If you're feeling unwell or burned out, pushing through it really isn't going to help - if the management won't bring in extra staff or adjust your workload (even by saying no to some people/teams who need you), it's on them if you end up off sick.

I had a chat with my HOD, it was hard as there are loads of things going on and a big problem on the horizon.

We talked a bit about how we need a plan for the new role and a how the old one is quite crazy and I mentioned that I feel a bit burned out by it all. I just don’t know how to say it all. My worry about jumping on the bandwagon is even larger now we have more problems which come back to me

Try to have a rest over the weekend then on Monday you must speak to your HOD again as that conversation clearly hasn't sorted things out.

Speak factually, say what you have said in your posts here which are very clear and honest. They are (summarised):

• I took on a lot
• It got too much for me
• I didn't realise that at the time
• I am not coping now
• I need your support now to prevent it getting worse - here are my ideas for how you could help
• I need a proper break/annual leave to recuperate
• I am really committed and want to do a good job but can't do that in the state I am in right now

Don't overcomplicate, keep it simple. Be honest but don't 'confess; to more than you need to (ignore the guilt/fear).

Many years ago I could of written the same post. I ended up signed off sick for 4 weeks and learned a valuable lesson in where my limits are and what I can and cannot cope with. And I say this when I had a bonkers week, worked 70 hours and over 50 week before and had days I could not keep up with all the emails, meetings and constant instant messaging. But I now know when enough is enough and can recognise the warning signs of stress and burnout and put my foot down.

Look after yourself. It can be fixed. It will get better.